Why doesn't he ever "feel like it"?

Question

Ok, please don't laugh,lol...My hubby and I got married Dec 8th last year, and no matter what I do, I can stand in front of the tv or his XBOX games butt naked or wear the sexiest outfit I can find or tell him all day long how bad I want him then try to take advantage of him when he gets of work, OR I have even tried the "take away" method and acted like I am not interested, to see if maybe he wants me to play hard to get. No matter what I do, he doesn't seem to be interested in sex, every now and then whe we are already in bed to go to sleep he'll roll over and THEN he'll feel like it, but NEVER just spur of the moment...is there someting wrong with me? I am not ugly or anything, I mean, I'm not supermodel material, I'm normal..but still, kinda hurts sometimes, does this make any sense or am I just being stupid???

I know he is not cheating, nor gay,lol...I am with him almost 80% of the time, the other 20% we are at work

OK, you wanted details here it is
I am 22 yrs old, 120 lbs, 5'3'', athletic build, medium blonde hair, green eyes..not much more details I could give ya..you could check out my yahoo profile at profiles.yahoo.com/some_whereovertherainbow and tell me honestly if I am fugly or anything, it won't hurt my feelings, I am tough

I keep adding details,lol...he is 21 yrs old...and no, I did not do this too often just recently when I decided it was worth a shot cuz I wasn't getting any (sorry if that sounds wrong). We did have sex a lot before we were married, and especially after we'd gotten engaged, but now it is more like once every 4 days or so.

Answer 1

It's hard to answer, not knowing how he was before, but it is a bit puzzling. Did you two have quite frequent relations before and after the marriage? What's his age? Is he under a lot of stress? Has he been acting funny, working late a lot and making excuses to leave? I'll tell you this, in my case, and I'm sure many other married men feel this way, I would dearly love the attention you've shown him. That is, if you really did stand naked or with a sexy outfit in front of the TV! It may be that you did things so often previously that he may need to cool off and build up a little desire. Tell me this, does he do all the work or do you participate? If you just lay there, and I don't mean that to be insulting, he may have lost a little of his need. If he's older, he may need to recharge his batteries. It could be that he's under a lot of stress, and may feel that you're adding pressure and that's just more to the problem. Yet another possibility is he's found a new playmate or desire, which could be causing him to look at you differently. These are some things to think about, maybe it will give you something to look at.

Answer 2

Ok, he's not gay , and the only thing he's cheating on u with is the game system lol.. so dont listen to those.. and i didnt look at ur profile but im guessing if u put it out there for everyone to see that ur not ugly.. and even if u were he married u so he must like how u look..

I had an x with the same problem.. probably why he's an x now lol.. he's neglecting u, he's wanting things his way , when he wants it and how he wants it.. doesnt mean he doesnt love u, or find u attractive, just means he doesnt have his priorities straight.. and the fact that u've been married longer then 6 months tells me he's become way to comfortable and doesnt feel he needs to try as hard anymore and the giddiness is over.. (happens in alotttttttttttttttttttt of marriages and is considered normal) .. So if he doesnt want to fufill his Husbandly duties , why are u fufilling ur wifely duties.. stop catering to him.. stop doing his laundry, stop cooking for him, stop begging him for his time, stop all the sex all together even though it may kill u inside.. its time to take the power out of his hands.. go find a hobby outside of the house, and go do it.. when he starts realizeing his wife isnt doing all these great things for him anymore and she's happy , and shes not home like she use to , he'll wonder whats up, and simply let him know when he wants to treat u like a wife u'll act like one, till then he's on his own and since his Xbox is so important, and Tv is so important, ask them to do his laundry, and his cooking for him..

Answer 3

You don't mention his age.For all those out there who think men always want it.....You are wrong.Men from the age of 30 something and over have problems with wanting sex all the time.My husband does the same thing.It can be a dozen different things causing this.Testosterone levels may be low.Testosterone is a major factor in feeling sexy for men AND women.He may be experiencing prostate problems.He may have high blood pressure or drink too much or smoke weed.Any of these things can cause a low sex drive.I hate when people blame the woman or suggest that they're gay.That's just alot of fools who don't know what they're talkin about.Have him see a doctor.

Answer 4

Sounds like he is "escaping," which would explain why he wants to be in front of the TV or Xbox. Maybe something at work is stressing on him. The best thing to do...is to turn the TV off and talk. Once the TV is off, his mind will focus on you. It will be hard especially if he is in a TV watching routine when programs are on during the week, but still communicate with him that you are concerned about this issue. Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. : )

Hope this help

Answer 5

I'm sure it is nothing about you so dont feel down on yourself. Sometimes guys just dont feel "in the mood". Despite the myth not all guys are 100% obsessive for sex every second of every day. However, it sounds like that your guy if he is not having sex should be showing you much more attention rather than watching TV or playing games. Get him to spend more time with you, the closer you get then the more chance their will be for sex.

Answer 6

Leave the over 30's males out of it. I have a higher sex drive now than when I was in my 20's.

Seems to me that the problems are with him, some guys just get off more on the xbox or tv because theyre dodging reality. He definately has something on his mind, you need to talk to him about it.

Answer 7

He may have a medical problem that you and he are not aware of. My husband is diabetic, and it affects EVERYTHING. He may also be experiencing some kind of emotional stress due to job issues, family issues, or difficulty adjusting to the new role of husband. Talk with him...tell him how you feel and ask him to share his feelings with you. You have got to communicate with each other in order for your marriage to work. If you cannot talk about your sex life, then how can you talk about anything else. It does not matter what you look like, your husband should love you and desire you no matter what. Whatever is happening with him has nothing to do with you personally.

Answer 8

No, you're not being stupid. For being married for less than 1 year, this is definitely NOT normal. I have been married for 8 years, and I don't have anything close to that problem. My husband, like most men, jumps at the opportunity.. so this is how I know.

You need to confront him about this problem and tell him how it makes you feel.

Good luck sweetie.

Answer 9

This guy is a jerk. clearly. I would understand if you were not attractive, but if its like you say, maybe he asexual, or nosexual. LOL. You should put a pic to help the yahoo community understand the situation, I am just saying, and then we could be honest. But dont worry, I have heard of alot of guys that just ignore their GF to play HALO, Its like they are stupid.

Answer 10

Just because he is at work doesn't mean he is not cheating. And if he is not cheating he has some childhood direction that says to him you don't react on the spur of the moment. My wife is like that so I know how you feel.