Please help, man problems....?

Question

me and my boyfriend has been together for over 2 1/2 years, and he tells me that he wants some space, but still wants me to live with him, and take care of HIS two kids, I love him, but I don't know if he's taking advantage of me? Do You think that we will get back together, I love the kids,but I can't stay around, thinking he is just using me....... PLEASE no rude answers....

Answer 1

honey, he is using you, get away from that....... you can do better than that! you deserve someone that loves you as much as you love him, and someone that will meet you in the middle, not let you come and try to pull his side of the relationship to, and if all he wants you to do, it's to help with HIS kids, then don't do it. let him see how hard it is to do everything by himself. I understand you love the kids, but you can still see them, that's if he don't try to take them away toooo. I was in a smiller relationship, and the kids do make it harder to leave, expecially when you're actually all they got.......... just kick him to the curb, there's good men out there just go and find them.............. good luck..........

Answer 2

Honey,get out of there because he has a built in FREE babysitter and that's you. If you want to stay to watch the kids tell him you will be his live in PAID nanny and make sure your price is very high and there will be NO added on BONUS for him . Anytime a man tells you that he needs some space that means that the (space) is being fill with someone else. If you can't handle being used leave as soon as you can. Find someone else that really deserves your love. YOU CAN DO BETTER!!!!!!

Answer 3

What does he mean about "wanting some space?" Does he just want to be alone for an hour or two and be by himself? - or does he feel he needs to go out a few nights week "with the boys" - If it is the latter, it is time for you to start looking for your own space to move into. Why are things different now from what existed 2 1/2 years ago. It sounds like he likes having a full time babysitter, but does he want you for a full time friend/lover?

Answer 4

If he wants his 'space' of course you have no choice but to give it to him....and his kids go with him into his 'space'. He's the one wanting a time out from you....he doesn't get a time out from his kids. Yes he's using you.

I would find a new place to live so he and his kids can have all the space he wants. If he really loves you...he'll be back...but be careful that he doesn't just want a baby sitter. If he chooses to want you back in the future...I'd keep living separately and see just how he reacts when he's still stuck with his kids. If he loves you...him caring for his own kids shouldn't be a problem.

Answer 5

What "'space" can help improve communication in which a healthy relationship needs for both. Looks like his doubts have reached depression level so has his work performance for example been up to par?

Maybe he really wanted his kids care as a top priority and found your compassion perfect and not his own? Not ALL guys say they want space because something's up their sleeve. That behavior pattern is hard to hide.

Maybe go a little lighter on taking the reltionship to the next level until your friendship has been gained by getting things out so they do not escalate.

Set up a night out with you then his with his buddies or whatever his normal activities are, etc.

Work on communications as best you can and it usually never fails.

Answer 6

It sounds like to me that he wants the freedom to do as he pleases and he knows that you love the kids and will make sure that they are well taken care of, but in the meantime he will do whatever he pleases.
He may be trying to make a decision about his ( and maybe both ) of your futures. Why don't you try giving him a time limit and then if he still wants his space then tell him that you have to move on.
I think that maybe he is just trying to make a decision because he still wants you to live with him. Don't pressure him into a decision because it could backfire on you and you could lose him forever, but give it some time.
Good luck with the relationship..

Answer 7

I think you already know the answer, don't you?

Yes, he wants a live-in nanny so he can go party...and that pretty much sums it up. Leave, go attend to your own life.

Exception: you love his kids, and caring for them, the rent is free, and you don't mind living in whatever area you are living in. Two can play the game of taking advantage of the other. If you play your cards right, you may be able to save a ton of money! No food, no rent...you could have it made if you want!

Answer 8

Sounds to me like your a convenient babysitter for him. Wanting space means just that, so how are u giving him space if he has u babysitting for him. Don't go for that girl, you deserve better then that. Apparently he doesn't see or care what he's doing to his kids either. They're getting more and more attached to you, and you to them, but in the long run who is going to get hurt? "You and the kids" that's who. He's only thinking of himself and what makes him happy. He's just using u.

Answer 9

I was in a very similar situation (only that he had one kid, not two). He wants to continue to live with you, but have his space. So that means, he wants the cake and to eat it too. You are basically just a live-in babysitter. It will be hard to walk out of the situation especially since there are children involved, but just because you leave doesn't mean you can't be apart of their lives. You have to put yourself, wants and needs, before theirs. This is your life, your happiness, your freedom, your HEART, do what will be in your best interest.

Answer 10

Sounds like he wants you as a safety net, but not as a girlfriend. By all means, stick with him if you want to babysit HIS kids, while he goes out and plays the field. It's a tough break when you live together, but you need YOUR space.