Not being able to open up - lonely?

Question

hi there, i recently turned 18 june of 2006. whenever since i reached middle school, i've been having problems with my lack of braveness to speak to someone i don't know or someone i don't know well enough. due to this issue, i can't shorten the distance between me and a person so that we will be close enough to develop a friendship.
i figured out one of the reasons is that i am lacking prideness or self-esteem in order to attempt to speak or speak up. the reason for not having enough self-esteem is because i tend to think that i kind of sound funny or unskilled at speaking. i get nervous sometimes when i talk and often times my mind is too blank to think of anything to talk about.

to let you know, i am suffering from loneliness. i feel shame and ugly during lunch when groups of people see me walk by. whenever someone i know greets me, let's say "hi Shukie", i feel so cheered up at the very moment. obviously i am hungry for a social life.

Answer 1

Im sorry to hear that. I went through the same thing as you are going through for a long time at school, and it was pretty tough. Building self esteem is really difficult, and doing it while at school is even harder.

I think the thing that you need to tell yourself, over & over again, is that when someone greets you, it means they are fond of you. Sure, they might not class you as a best friend or anything, but no one says hello to someone they dont want to speak to, so you do have something to offer to them.

I know all to well what it's like to have your mind go blank while trying to talk to someone. I think that's something that takes practice as well.

So, just remember that the people saying hello to you, probably want to have a conversation with you as well. They might be too shy to start one though, so try & chat to them about anything: The weather, school, whatever. It might work.

Answer 2

Just try reaching out to someone...you may be surprised at the response you get. If someone is greeting you, that could be a perfect opportunity to get things going. Don't be shy, just give it a try. If you feel self-conscious about your speaking ability, do something about it to make it better. You are in control of what you want your life to be like. You do have the power to make it better.

Answer 3

teens are a hard bunch and they'll crack on you as soon as they think you're stupid. But don't care about that cause you seem special to me. Don't end up being a lonely weirdo who talks to himself like me!! But trie to be yourself. It's easier said than done, but Just Do It.