I am a 20 yr old girl and have been with my bf for four yrs. We're both mature, responsible and self-sufficient. We would like to get married after I graduate (he graduated two years ago and has had a great job ever since) as we live 1,400 miles apart and I refuse to premaritally cohabitate. However, our family and friends have expressed horror at the idea. "What's the rush?" and "You're so YOUNG, don't throw your lives away!" are the most common responses.
I understand as a society, statistics dictate that we are moving away from the "50's style" marriage (married by mid-20s, traditional gender roles, small chance of divorce) and increasingly towards a stage in history where marriage may become obsolete. The average "marriage" now lasts 7 years - divorce is the normal, natural progression instead of a last resort.
However, we share common goals, values, love eachother deeply, and have given this LOTS of thought, yet NO ONE thinks this is a good idea. What do you think?
2006-09-05 14:56:42 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IF you're both mature, responsible and self sufficient consenting adults who are prepared to to take on the hard work of marriage, don' t let anyone's idea ruin it for you. Don't let friends or society tell u otherwise. I got married when I was 19. I'm now 21 and have been married for 2 1/2 yrs. Our marriage is great and we both understand that to have a happy, successful marriage, it takes daily mutual work, commitment and dedication to your partner and your marriage vows.
Just make sure this is something u both want 100% and there should be no room for doubts.
2006-09-05 15:02:52 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never presume to tell you what you should do...but I can tell you my experience...I got married when I was 18 (been married for 10+ years) I still love my husband very much and he loves me...we have two children together and our relationship is going strong...on the outside anyway...however, in the back of my mind, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I got married to early. We also had the same goals and values, but I didn't know what I was getting myself into...didn't fully comprehend the promises I made. That's a hard one...getting married may work for you and it may not...Sorry I couldn't be more help. Good Luck!
2006-09-05 22:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by Maggie Mae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its how you feel not what everyone else says you should do. If you two really are in love and have common values and everything then you should get married but only if that's what you want. Have you thought of seeing a premariage consular? He/she could probably help you and during the time that you do that you would figure out if its the right thing for you to do right now.
2006-09-06 00:15:47 · answer #3 · answered by summerdean694 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a pre nup...PLEASE,..I am begging you.
Don't immediatly have children,..get a dog or two.
Wait till you are beyond atleast 5 yrs for children to test the marriage.
Enjoy yourselves and travel as much as you can.
Did you go to college? If yes,..Awesome...If no,...GO to college and marry when you are done. Most everyone has a degree or two...Getting an education is easier without the stress of marriage. Good luck!
2006-09-05 22:03:31 · answer #4 · answered by MrsJR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you both have more heart & soul than many 30-40 year olds. You both seem to know what you want. You both love , respect and care about each other. That is all you need to start your life together. If you keep this up you will have many happy & fulfilled years to come. Good luck & god bless.
2006-09-05 22:13:22 · answer #5 · answered by mari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you think its right then do it. I'm 22 been married close to 3 years. its not throwing your life away its living it. it your life live it how you want not how ppl tell you.
2006-09-05 22:02:32 · answer #6 · answered by mr_todd84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋