I am sad and confused?

Question

I love my husband but I am hurt and confused ...Married 12 yrs. second for me first for him.He tells me often that he loves me,we hold hands often when driving somewhere,he kisses me (never more tan a light peck on the lips)he calles me daily 2 times from work . we get along most of the time,we never have sex,it has been 7 + years,I am telling you the truth,I ask him why ,he says he dosent know or he is just tired and out of shape,he says we will,let it just happen,things will get better,etc.I have heard so many reasons....He does not cheat ,I am absolutly positive,not gay ,positive,Is it possible for a man to never have to ....well you know...have an orgasm?like when he sleeps if he is not sexually active for some time?I thought it builds up and just happens to a guy in his sleep.as far as I can tell it does not happen to him.I just don't understand why he never has that desire,I am kind to him and offer myself only to be rejected ,how can I cope.what would u do?I am so sad,confused.

Answer 1

I’m sorry for what you are going through.
You must find it really ‘frustrating’!!!

It may be an ‘impotency’ problem on his part.
It isn’t a problem that he can’t be helped with.
Perhaps he should be talking to a doctor.
I have heard that ‘Viagra’ works really well. Perhaps that could be an option for your husband.

Does he do anything to try to satisfy your desires?
Just because he can’t get it up, doesn’t mean he can’t do things to satisfy you.
There is more to ‘having sex’ than just in and out wham bam thank you mam.
He still has his hands and his lips… they can do wonders to satisfy your needs.
The heat of the moment just may find him going all the way!

Do you sleep in the same bed?
When you go to bed, do you wear pyjamas, and just lay there until you fall asleep?
Is there ever any foreplay between you both?
Do you try to seduce him?… Tell him how ‘horny’ he makes you feel?

Perhaps you could hire an ‘X-rated movie’ and sit there and watch it together, allowing your inhibitions to run free.

Perhaps you could read a book about ‘sex’ and try some new seduction techniques.

If you haven’t sought ‘counselling’ perhaps it may help if you do.

All I can suggest is that you make yourself as attractive to him as you can.
Tell your husband that you need to have more ‘intimacy’ in your marriage, and ask him to talk to a doctor about his lack of desire.

I hope things improve for you both.
Good luck !!!

Answer 2

It is not fair to you to wait around for so long. Get up tommorrow and change your life. Take action!. Tell him to see a doctor, if he is older it could be medical. But if he is under 40 there is definitely something happening. Do some spying onhim.
Check his online activities. Go to his work surprise him. Get home early from work se e if he is disappointed or happy. Watch porn with him see if gets excited at all.
My best friend just found out that her husband is gay and into ladyman after not having sex with her for almost 2 years. She would say the same exact things like you do. But 7 years? You deserve better. Make some changes now.

Answer 3

There could desire to be something appropriate to the age of 14 or 15 that brings those emotions to youngsters. that's a confusing age to get by. For years, you have been a new child. Then, impulsively, your physique is changing, adulthood looms and your ideas gets all blended up. all and sundry human beings is going by some comparable emotions at that element, and you will get depressed. while you're a woman, you're confident you're repulsive, your brow has pimples, your girlfriends are catty, and the boyfriends waft away. while you're a boy, you experience you're a dud at schoolwork, that girls folk do unlike you, and can't stand your mothers and dads telling you what to do. the thank you to recover from it rather is to get busy. Make friends, go places, do issues. Get pursuits. snicker with your girlfirends. help your mom with something. Play with the dogs. choose for a hike. Take a flower to the neighbor. specially, smile! extraordinarily quickly, you would be lots exciting and so many times occurring, you will no longer have time to be depressed. So, get on with it. opportunities are high that, by the time you have reached sixteen, you will ask your self the way you will have felt this way.

Answer 4

You make confused just by Reading yr story if he's not cheating on you somethings is definitely wrong with that situation we not talking about a week or even a month we talking about yrs now you guys needs to see a doctor does he have a problem getting in erection?.you really are in a sad situation but how long to you think you can live like that,it's not that you going to die if you never have sex but it's also a part of the relationship,

Answer 5

There could be a few different problems but the two that come to mind for me are either 1) Erectile dysfunction. He may have had difficulty on a couple of occasions and that has caused him anxiety and fear which only makes the problem worse. Or 2) he has a hormone imbalance or lack of testosterone which stimulates a man's sex drive.
I'd sit him down and try to talk to him about it. Be understanding and caring and see if he'll open up.

Answer 6

Hows your figure? Sorry to be so blunt, but are you sexy? If so go get some kind of nighty and call him into the room with candles lite. If that doesnt work go see a sex therapyst. Get some ciales.
What ever the case is if you know hes not cheating and hes not gay, there are worse things in life,
like being rejected cause theres soemone else.

I hope all works out for you

Answer 7

You didnt say if he use to orgasm ?But he sounds like he has low sex drive.He can take a viagra and that will give him the drive for at least you to be happy.I would be concerned and sit down tell him your horny and you need him to do the deed.Ask him about viagra too.I dont know but would suspect he is gay for sure but you cant really know either way cause they in the closet are the best at hideing it you know! Someone I thought was gay couldnt stand guys that looked gay ,I finally figured its too painful for them to face,Also he may be masterbating to porn when your not home ect .....It is almost for sure he is getting an orgasm somehow.I think he does love you regardless!

Answer 8

Without for over 7 years something has to be going on.Did he have any problems the last time you had sex.He may have a medical problem and it can be corrected if he would go see a doctor.How in the world have you made it this long?

Tell him to get help and get it up. Good luck to ya!!

Answer 9

There does seem to be something wrong.I'm sure it's not you,but if you;ve tried talking to him and have gotten nowhere then maybe you should ask him to see a Dr. I've been with my husband for 13 years and we have 3 kids together and I can't keep him off of me.

Answer 10

He might have some type of medical problem. I would suggest he see his Dr. and maybe even a therapist for the both of you.