My friend and I have not spoken with one another in several months. She is a dear friend of mine and her birthday is this month. I want to send her a birthday wish but should I ? When we initially had our "outs" with one another, I immediately tried to contact her several times and apologized as well........all via email. Absolutely no repsonse from her. Should I try one more time to make a connection with her on her birthday? My instincts say to just forget it, it's done with. My compassionate side wants to reconnect and heal our friendship. Her anger with me was when I started dating and spending time with a very special guy whom I continue to date......she is married, owns her own business with her husband and is quite busy herself. I just don't think I was living my life according to her terms and she got angry........
2006-09-05 14:29:23 · 13 answers · asked by Janet 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think you just described what just happened to me and my friend as the situation is very similar. However, mine has a little twist to it...
I confronted my friend about her lies via email because I've found that you cannot confront her over the phone or in person because she freaks out with face-to-face confrontations. I received no response from her and a month passed.
My birthday came and I wondered if I'd hear from her. I got a text message and an e-card. I emailed her to thank her and got no response. That was 8/29 and I still haven't heard from her. I guess my thought was...you can't even make a 5 minute phone call to wish me a happy birthday? But I think she's avoiding me because she knows she screwed up and she will NEVER admit it. I think she'd rather die than admit that she's wrong.
I'm the same way as you, we fight and then I'm the one feeling bad even though I'm not the one at fault. But I just feel like if you're my friend than I can be mature enough (especially at my age) and move on from it. That's definitely not the case on her end.
I can totally see where you're caught in the middle of should I or shouldn't I and I guess you have to ask yourself if you want to keep having to mend this friendship and continue to be the only one putting an effort into the friendship.
It's sad because people like them easily forget their true friends, that is until they really need something from you and then you're the first to be called upon.
I care about my former friend and always will, but I just couldn't continue being used and lied to because it's almost like being in an abusive relationship.
If it's biting at you that bad, send a simple card and throw the ball in her court again. There's nothing you can do after that and you can't say that you didn't try.
Hang in there!!
2006-09-05 15:19:49 · answer #1 · answered by Majesty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your feelings of wanting to re-establish this connection with someone who has meant so much to you in the past.
Since your initial attempts to contact her were ignored, and she has taken no initiative in the past few months to contact you either...you need to prepare yourself for a probable let-down.
You don't specify what her reasons are for objecting to your boyfriend. Is it simply personalities that don't mesh, or does she know something about him that makes her believe he's really going to hurt you? (Worse, could she maybe have been jealous or had some sort of "crush" on him? That happens even with women who are married, ya know?) Maybe you don't even fully understand why she was so angry, but I would say this is the key to understanding where this is going to go.
If her feelings were simply feeling protective towards you, then it's possible she's overreacted, but with the best of intentions still buried there somewhere. If this is so, then perhaps you can rebuild a friendship.
If she's simply being controlling, manipulative, competitive...whatever....then why would you want to re-establish a so-called friendship?
If you do anything, I would suggest you just mail her a card with a short note of well-wishes, a simple invitation for her to call you when she can, and then don't be hurt or surprised if you never hear from her again.
Good luck -
2006-09-05 21:42:18 · answer #2 · answered by CassandraM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this very thing happen to me....except I am the married woman and my friend started dating this guy and stopped talking to me. She said that I was acting like her mother......but all I said to her was that she should take the relationship slowly and not become totally wrapped up in the guy. I have apologized and I continue to try to send her emails...... one day I hope she'll answer. It's very frustrating when someone won't forgive and move on. I think that there was something else that fractured our relationship....and I've accepted that I may never know the answer. Good luck.....you are in a very hurtful position and I empathize with you.
2006-09-05 21:51:48 · answer #3 · answered by ravred300 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is always two sides to a story.
So, lemme get this straight. This is / was a good friend of yours with whom you had a falling out with, and your only method of patching things up was via email? Wow! It's no wonder why she's not talking to you. I'd have told you to F*CK *FF. You claim to be a good friend, but put no real effort into apologizing. Maybe you really didn't want to patch it up. Hmmm?
Why do you think it was the "guy" issue that ended the relationship? More details please.
2006-09-05 21:39:00 · answer #4 · answered by YourAnswer... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in this day and age itis so easy for people to hind behind their computers and email.
Common courtesy would dictate that a real formal apology should be done in person, or atleast by phone. I would dis regard anyone who thought they could email me an apology.
If she is a dear friend as you describe that shouldn't your efforts be made in person.
Its so hard to feel someones heart through an email, in person might just be the thing you need.
2006-09-05 21:44:54 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really value your friendship with her, then cards shouldn't be an option, e-mails and phone calls won't do either.. you have to do it in person.. i mean, the worse that could happen is that she embarasses you and blows you off, but if you really value your friendship with her, then taking the risk of that happening shouldn't be stopping you. you may think that your instincts are telling you not to do it, but you should realize that you wouldn't be here, on yahoo answers, asking this question of yours if you really didn't want to fix your situation..
wounds heal...
anger dissipates...
and true friends are forever...
(btw, that sounds really gay... hehehe...)
2006-09-05 22:40:23 · answer #6 · answered by icetrese 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you really do want to still be friends then you should try again. If she still ignores you then it will be her loss. You can only try so many times. Best of luck
2006-09-05 21:35:55 · answer #7 · answered by cramcram62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALL YOU CAN DO IS SEND HER A BIRTHDAY CARD AND TELL HER THAT YOU ARE STILL HER FRIEND AND HOPE SHE FEELS THE SAME WAY LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN FOR HER TO CONTACT YOU, GOOD LUCK.
2006-09-05 21:32:38 · answer #8 · answered by deby k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is, try to contact them, and if then respond then that is how you can get back on the same again, if then don't reply to your action, then sit back and let them come to you because they will.
2006-09-05 21:38:12 · answer #9 · answered by swilliams63@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know 40something,life is too short,send her a card ,let her know you think of her and though she may have it write down your phone # and let her know you never stopped being her friend.she should respond.if she does not respond,u will know that she has issues beyond tour friendship.
2006-09-05 21:40:40 · answer #10 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋