2006-09-05 14:02:00 · 10 answers · asked by ~muffun~ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is going to sound strange. The best way to help them is to NOT help them.
It is a very hard task to deal with an alcoholic. They throw blame around to everyone but themselves and you need to be strong enough to know that it is NOT you and it is an illness.
The best way to help them is to not accept their behavoir and let them know what they are doing that effects you. Remind them of the things that are affected by their drinking.... This is a hard thing to do, because they will get angry with you, and you will always get tossed the blame for their actions, but stay strong, it is not you.
Too many people *enable* their alcoholic partners... cleaning up their messes, making excuses FOR them to others, calling them in sick to work etc. Taking care of them when their hung over etc, and really that is the worst thing you can do.
The best suggestion is to look into ALANON meetings and find others like you and get some skills on how to cope and help.
Good luck!
2006-09-05 18:30:40 · answer #1 · answered by Tawny Amber 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People most often drink to their emotions. I would drink to my resentments, anger and sadness. The best way I am coping with not having a drink is to address what causes these emotions. Alcoholics Anonymous helps, but not as much as a loving wife our other family members. Start by telling him how much you care and you want to know why he drinks so much. If he cant tell you ask him to find A.A. and eventually a male sponser. Maybe go with him to an A.A. meeting to show your support. Also find a Higher Power, pray and meditation helps a lot. Good Luck!
2006-09-05 21:11:34 · answer #2 · answered by DB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your partner first needs to see that they have a problem after that thay can help themselfs and with your support they will get better i am still an alcoholic it has not left me its just sleeping . i have not had a drink in 2 years but i had to do it for me i tried for everyone else it didnt work make the person see their problem thing will come together once they realize this.
2006-09-05 21:30:14 · answer #3 · answered by walter l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing is to realize that you control only your own actions. Your partner controls his or her behavior. You are not responsible for your partner's drinking.
Go to Al Anon web sites and get Al Anon materials and go to the meetings. You are in a difficult situation. Do not shield your partner from the consequences of the drinking.
2006-09-05 21:12:33 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first understand that it is going to get worse before it gets better. The only way you can help them is to talk to them when they are not drinking and tell them taht you are concerned and that you want them to try rehab. It is going to take major steps like this or it will not work. there are great programs around. Also refuse to enable them. Do not be around them when they drink, do not buy it or take them to get it, eventually they will feel lost..They need to hit rock bottom, I know it is painful for oyu more than them but true love goes through mountains to see the valley....good luck
2006-09-05 21:09:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im feeling for you! Just dont take the blame in anyway! Your partner has to want to quit and the chances are not really great and its hella to help them with when they do quit.I went thru it with my sister she finally quit but after 5 yrs went back to it and died at 42 of liver failer from drinking.I miss her so! My husband is a alcohlic too and I know he will die of it someday.I cant help him and I cant save his life .Get out and forget them and you can avoid the pain...........
2006-09-05 21:39:44 · answer #6 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great answers here. Dont waste your time talking to a drunk. He wont stop drinking until he wants to and unless he wants to and gets some serious help his problem will soon become your problem.
2006-09-05 21:18:20 · answer #7 · answered by tborelli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to Al Anon.
It's an organization for family members of alcoholics.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html
2006-09-05 21:04:54 · answer #8 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have to want to help themselves. Trust me when I say you will never, and I do mean never, be able to do anything for them. They have to help themselves when they are ready too.
2006-09-05 21:20:29 · answer #9 · answered by Evie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shares in a liquor chain help
cant beat 'em - join em!
2006-09-05 21:05:24 · answer #10 · answered by Aussieblonde -bundy'd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋