I have a real problem with shyness.?

Question

I have a big problem with shyness. Like I don't talk at ALL barely because i'm afraid of saying or doing something stupid or I can't think of anything to say until like a couple minutes afterwards. I really hate this because I know that if I could just get out there then people will like me but its just so hard. I'm not confident in myself at all because of the past and I just wish I could get past this because i'm in highschool and I hate being a loner in my classes and stuff and I just need to get over this. Have any tips??

Answer 1

I am also shy, it is important that you know that you are not alone and half the people that you see in the world have some sort of shyness as well. It usually goes away with age. In my younger years, it was hard for me. My whole face would swell up and my face would freeze and I would look really dumb.
There are some stuff you could do:
The old trick (picture everyone in there underwear) does not work well.
-If you have an old tape recorder, record your voice and listen to it (was tested by the american phycological association)
-MAKE THE EFFORT (sit in class near ppl, do not be a loner)

"DO NOT BE DEER, IN A CARS HEADLIGHTS meaning do not freeze wheneve someone sees you.

When your driving and you see a deer in your car lights it freezes then runs into the woods. Do not do that. When someone sees you, do not freeze. make the effort as you would in an interest of yours. I promise you, things could change. I promise.I had that same problem, I guarantee worst than you. I also felt the same way as you.
One day I said "fu*k it and slowly things changed.
ROME was NOT built IN a DAY.

Answer 2

Join a group outside your school.. Any kind of group for teenagers. Look into it at your local library, being in a group will encourage you to talk out loud or see how other people react to shyness. Most young people (and some adults) have this problem, but when they surround themselves with others they can out grow it. Don't just think it will go away on it's own. Groups are usually for people who have some kind of problem and experts lead them. It will be very therapeutic and fun, you might even make new friends that are having the same kind of problems, or maybe problems that YOU..could help with. YOU...need to want to do something about it...and being here is a good start. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

I had, and still have it a little, the same problem. What I did was told myself I'm going to sound stupid in front of people until I can get used to speaking to them. The best thing is to play it safe in conversations with simple sentences. Once you feel comfortable with this talk a little more. Another thing you could do is join an activity that involves public speaking. You may be reading from a script (or something like that), but you will get used to speaking.

Answer 4

I used to be...It was painful.
...What did I do?..
I know there was no "quick solution".
...It's a personality thing or the way a brain fires off signals.
---This is going to sound stupid and impossible...but I can tell you it worked me into becoming much more spontanious, gregarious and engaging... It evolved, and now I'm happy to freely interact with everyone!

My advice is to start by being reckless around others in what you think and say... Be a good listener...and then, just throw all thoughts of disaproval to the wind and shoot out any crazy idea that comes to mind. If they end up rejecting you...That's THEIR loss! THEY should be the ones to loosen up and accept your mind for what new things it can present them with...no matter HOW crazy! It will be weird, but do it...Take the offroad and enjoy the bump and grind you create! Force yourself to shake things up! The world NEEDS it...and ultimately, it will be appreciated!
Be YOU...because that loose cannon is inside you and all of us... That's the way your going to break out of the shell and LIVE!!

Answer 5

Yes it took me untill I was 22 to realize I was normal and could be myself. Sadly I missed out on a lot worrying about what others thought of me in highschool. Truth is there are many people like you, once you allow yourself to be yourself you will meet those people and they will most likely be your "real friends", the ones you grow into adulthood with. Try to look at having fun rather then personnal flaws and what everyone else might think.

Answer 6

I'm a loner in my classes too. I'm pretty shy when you first get to know me, but then I'm outgoing. Well, to my friends, I am, anyway. I don't really like talking to people who act like the same outgoing, fuzzy pink frills that their friends are. Nothing personal against them, but it's kind of hard to see through this large wave of the stereotypical girl. It's your personality. Do what you want with it. No one can tell you what you can and can not do. And if people don't like you for it, then screw them! They don't run your life.

Answer 7

shyness is a very difficult problem which will put a cloud over your whole life if you let it. you need to challenge yourself to be more assertive and more social. engage in activities that require personal interaction. go out of your way to say hi to people before they say hi to you. get a part-time job in store interacting with people. the only way to get over being shy is to work at it by forcing yourself to handle social interaction even if you don't want to. if you do, your confidence will follow. its a lot of work, but its so worth it

Answer 8

That happens to all of us. Just remember, everyone does something stupid at one point. Make a list of good things about yourself, and carry it with you every where. Repeat it in your head to boost your confidence. Talk to the other quiet people. You'll have friends in no time. Keep smiling :)

Answer 9

You should start thinking positively.Whenever you start to think negative thoughts contradict them with positive affirmations. Tell yourself that you are special and worthy. Tell yourself that you are just as good as everyone. Practice smiling even when you do not feel like it.Believe it or not it will make you start to feel better. Are you religious? If so, PRAY and ask God to help you with your feelings of insecurity.EVERYONE at some point or another have felt some of the things that you are feeling.

Answer 10

Everybody makes mistakes socially. You can't let that stop you. People who are very social learn to tolerate the mistakes of others, unless it's something malevolent. In fact, your chances of being at the high end of the social swim are good, because you're so sensitive, and will take care to try not to offend anyone. I have the same fear myself, but I don't let it stop me. It's the only way you're going to learn to be more outgoing. Good luck.