My wife and the neighbor had a falling out, now the neighbor won;t let the kids play. What???

Question

ok, my wife had words (privately) with the neighbor lady and they are feuding. Not really over anything major, just neighborhood drama. Our four-year olds usually are friends, but she told her kids not to play with ours, and none of the kids get it. How should we approach the neighbor, or how do we explain that our boy has lost a friend though no fault of his own. We have taken the high raod as best through this and will continue to do so, but we think its sad that the kids are now involved. What would you do?

Answer 1

It seems that while you and your wife would be willing to let kids be kids and not involve them in the women's feud, it seems the other lady is not the same. You need to explain to your son that because mommy and the other little boy's mother had words he cannot play with this child and that maybe one day this will be worked out and they can play again, for now he is going to have to make new friends.

Answer 2

I think your neighbor is petty. She has issues outside of what has happened between herself and your wife. If she is unwilling to let your children play with hers that just goes to show how right you are in taking the high road. Do you really want someone like this in your children's lives? It may be hard for this neighbor to see that the children are suffering, therefore is not aware of it. I think that if it was me I would just let the kids play together when the all of the neighborhood children are all out playing together and not worry so much about the individual play groups. If your child is in preschool/school/daycare, he is going to get plenty of interaction. As far as explaining it to him......I would keep it as simple as possible trying not to go into too much detail. But just let him know that he and the other child are still friends just that their mommies aren't going to be spending time together right now. Sometimes people disagree and need to be around other people who share the same feelings. Best of luck to you. Tell your wife to hang in there. It sounds like she may also be going through a tough time with this, especially if this was someone she was close to.

Answer 3

First, talk to your neighbor's husband and clarify the problem of your respective wives with one another. If you share the same opinion that the petty spats of the adults should not put the children in the crossfire (as collateral damage/victims) and that the problem of the wives need not include the two of you (husbands), you can both resolve to do the second.

Talk to your respective wives and try to make them understand that such petty differences are unwanted most especially when the children become partial victims of the situation.

Next, the four of you adults sit down together and with you husbands coming in as mediators, facilitate the mending of the differences between the two women.

Your points: It is not easy to find good neighbors who are also friends. And good friendship are sometimes tested by disagreements and differences that are sooner mended, thereby cementing a stronger friendship.

Or as we shout it, PEACE!

Answer 4

Ahhh, pettiness. Where would humanity be without it? Probably be living in a harmonious Shangri-La. The neighbor should come around eventually. You can't keep neighbor kids apart if they like each other. You could also just go over to her and apologize even if you did nothing wrong just to patch things up for the kids' sake.

Answer 5

Depending on the issue you all could try apologizing, only if it applies. Unfortunately some people are ignorant and take issues over the limit. So good luck with your neighbors and next time also think about the consequences not just the moment.

Answer 6

your neighbour has to grow up a little, the friendships between the children should not be put in the middle, unfortunately if she cannot see this for herself, there is no reasoning, but she will also have to explain to her child why they cannot play anymore. I had the exact problem with my neighbour, but i still allow our children to play together, they should not suffer at the expense of immature people

Answer 7

why don't u set up a meeting with the neighbor and your wife, and ask each to voice their opinions, explain that the children are suffering and that they are acting like children, hopefully they will drop all the drama and apologize.

Answer 8

Talk to the neighbor, hopefully you can get this straightened out....

Answer 9

that is absolutely ridicoulus your nieghbor is pathetic how can she take it out on the kids i guess you can try talking with her but that probably won't do any good . good luck

Answer 10

that really isn't fair to the little guys ..........perhaps if you could express that to the neighbors , and potentially try to amend your differences ..........this should something that can be worked out .........

best of luck.........