Last month I walked in my own house to find my wife performing (wont use bad words) on another man. To make a long story short it got ugly, and I got my face beat up on resulting in surgery. My wife has since confessed of all what she's done, and promises not to do it again. She had been having sex with this guy while I was at work for over 2 months. I know of`the guy I caught her with and he's what you call a dead beat with no money. Infact he lives with his mom. How could she do this? She said it was all sexual and admitted he was a good lover, and endowed, but said she doesnt love him. She said she got caught up the heat of the moment. She said it was a mistake. Should I take her back? We were married 14 years
2006-09-05 13:18:59 · 25 answers · asked by ernie-h-in-the-place 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sadly, it ain't gonna work. Possibly it could have, if she'd ended the affair, confessed, and asked forgivness. But, she obviously wasn't ready to quit, she just got caught. Sure, she says it was a mistake. What else could she say? "Well, I'll miss that extra couple inches, but now that I'm busted, I'll have to settle for you." A two month affair is no mistake. Possibly, a one hour drunken act MIGHT be a mistake, but not two months. You can take her back, but she'll just cheat again and again, until you get fed up, and end it. Save yourself the heartache, and give up.
2006-09-05 15:08:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No because if she can admit that to you she's not going to change once you a player your always a player!!!She's prooly just afraid that she wont have noone to support her and put a roof over her head...And that is just nasty if she loved you like you love her she would have NEVER done that to you no matter how bad she was in the heat of the moment she could have waited for you..She's a cheater friend...Could you really see yourself haveing sex with her again?
2006-09-05 13:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to learn of this heartbreaking situation. God's Word makes it very clear that marriage is a commitment for life to the one individual out of all the world that we have chosen to be our mate. This commitment means saying "Yes" to our wife or husband and "No" to all others in the matter of intimate friendship. The marriage vow says, "Forsaking all others," and in Matthew 19:5 we read: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." In verse 6b Jesus adds: "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
When there is unfaithfulness in a marriage, the heartbroken person has several options. One option is to be bitter—trying to hurt the offending partner in the hope that it will produce guilt and a willingness to change. There is another way which may be infinitely harder, but I believe it is better. In times such as these, God always invites us to commit ourselves and the situation completely to Him. Allow your present circumstances to be an opportunity for you to deepen your faith and to depend completely on the Lord. If you have never accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, I urge you to make this commitment today by turning from sin, trusting Christ to forgive you, and inviting Jesus to direct your life.
When you have committed your heart and your life into the safety of God's keeping, then you will be able to respond in love in this situation. This kind of love is based on 1 Corinthians, chapter 13. Even though you know a great wrong has been done, consider how God has loved us even when we were sinners, unrepentant and hateful (Romans 5:8). Pattern your love after His; see John 13:35 and 1 John 4:7. Also read the responsibilities of husbands and wives given in 1 Peter 3:1-12 and Ephesians 5:21-33.
I suggest that you consult with a Gospel-preaching pastor or Christian marriage counselor in your area for ongoing guidance. God is in the healing business. While He cannot make your spouse change, with His help, I believe you may in time be able to enjoy the rich blessings of a loving, healthy relationship. Pray for the restoration and growth of deep love within your marriage, and for your spouse who has caused you such deep hurt.
Remember, being loving and forgiving does not mean that you simply endure the act of unfaithfulness. Adultery has consequences for all parties involved that cannot easily be resolved. As a means of bringing your spouse to repentance and restoring your marriage, you may want to consider some of the principles expressed in Dr. James Dobson's book "Love Must Be Tough." I would also suggest any of the following books: "The Christian Family" by Larry Christenson, "Love Is a Decision" by Gary Smalley and John Trent, and "Love Life for Every Married Couple" by Ed Wheat. These books are available at most Christian bookstores.
May God's peace be with you (Philippians 4:6).
2006-09-05 13:27:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but I have to say this...if it were my husband and I caught him in bed with some other whore...never ever would I take him back because I would be in prison!!! He would have to find me a fantastic lawyer and when I get out of prison I still would not take him back...!!! I am very sensitive on this subject.
2006-09-10 09:52:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
14 years is a long time to just give up but i wouldn make it easy for her she needs to understand how hurt you were emotionally and physically.. let her beg for a while she needs to see what she lost if you take her back too quick she might think she can get away with it and do it again.. i think you really love her or you wudn consider taking her back but now its time for her to show how much she loves u.. i wish you the best of luck and hope what ever happens is best for you..x
2006-09-05 13:27:05 · answer #5 · answered by asho_hayes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a female I know that sometimes stuff happens but I love my fiance and I couldn't ever do that to our relationship. I wouldn't ever put myself in any place that could happen. Honestly I don't think that you should take her back unless you HONESTLY forgive her and trust her because without trust there is no relationship and you can't trust without forgiving. And there will always be that in the back of your head don't let it catch up with you after you have children just stop it in the begeing take is as a lifes lesson your live and learn
2006-09-05 13:23:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Im sorry but maybe u need to look at yourself in the mirror! Hello is she insane says he is well endowed ! Oh my we are so glad she found a big one.Really forget her she isnt worth spit! She has no class at all you deserve better.Good luck!
2006-09-05 13:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So she's having sex with another man.
You enter and get angry.
The jerk messing around with YOUR wife, kicks YOUR butt?
She admits to a long term thing.
Even tells you he's good in bed and well endowed?
And you are actually thinking of staying with this woman?
Are you nuts?
Let her move in with him and his mom.
2006-09-05 13:40:30 · answer #8 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did not bother to read all of the crap you wrote.
Drop the cheating wh*re like a bag of hammers.
PS -- a mistake is when you mail a letter without a stamp.
Find your balls and sew them back on!
2006-09-05 13:56:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! dummbie no she will do it again i went through the same with my bf and he went out with a black girl and me and then i found out that he was going out with my sister but my sis din't know that it was him as my bf so for this to be over no or you will get hurt again there's a REAL true love waiting for oyu to came in to there life and they want do that to you a sweet man ! i know it will be hard but hey it will be fun with a other woman who love's you with her herat and not sex.
2006-09-05 13:49:43 · answer #10 · answered by Dina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋