A woman has a child that is mildly mentally challenged (cannot talk and is over-active), but she is a great mom to her child. She has a girlfriend who is very cool; they hang out, talk, laugh, and just do all around girl stuff. However, when the mom with the special needs child needs a sitter, she can't count on her girlfriend to watch her kid. Is it wrong to be upset at the friend for not wanting to assist or support her when it comes to watching her kid? Why do you think the girlfriend doesn't want to watch the kid? Is she afraid that maybe she can't handle the responsibility?
2006-09-05 13:12:49 · 11 answers · asked by Inquiring mind wants to know.. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No...the mom cannot be upset at the friend. Though SHE can handle her child DOES NOT mean that everyone can. The friend probably knows she cannot handle the child and a child with disabilities IS a lot more responsibility and there are going to be ALOT of people who do not want or feel they cannot handle that. The mom should just try and understand where the friend is coming from.
2006-09-05 13:16:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't blame the mother for being upset, because she just found out that she has a fair-weather friend. But then again, you mention that the child is hyper-active, and this does take special handling that not everyone is equipped for. How does the mother herself handle the hyperactivity? If she doesn't manage her child well (that is, with patience, because of the disability, and firmly, because even a mentally impaired child needs to learn to respect others boundaries and limits), then I could understand why the friend would be reluctant to take on the responsibility.
2006-09-05 13:22:16 · answer #2 · answered by Chatelaine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually the mom of the boy who has special needs can contact some groups in her area where they have people who will actually come to her house and watch her kid and they are trained to handle them.
My son is autistic , mildly and high functioning and believe yoU me hes not 3 yrs old but he's strong like a 10 yr old. Special needs children donot know their own stregnth.
Maybe the girlfriend thinks she wouldnt be able to handle him as good as his mother. My friends dont mind watching my son cause he seems like a normal child BUT I also caution him that if he has a meltdown to hold him close and make sure none of the other kids are around incase he kicks and of course he's very powerful.
I am blessed that my son is only mild, and is verbal. PLease understand this mother probably needs some alone time or time to be out on her own for a few hours. its not her fault. we all need our alone time.
2006-09-05 13:23:18 · answer #3 · answered by wilowdreams 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being friends doesn't entitle anyone to impose baby-sitting responsibilities on anyone. A "friend" doesn't use a friend.
That child has special needs and the friend either doesn't know or can't cope with the special needs; why make that person the scapegoat? Why not rely on relatives or family? If the parent needs help, there are support groups and other such for the child with the special needs.
Hey, my lady-friend and I were asked if we could baby sit while the woman went out dancing... my reply was, "Sorry. emergencies yes, but not for your jollies." She then told me that she was counting on us so she could go out... without even consulting us first? I opted to end that so-called neighbor's "friendship."
My wife and I never bothered anyone to babysit when our child was young... it was our child and our responsibility. Now, my (ex) wife baby-sits the grandchildren, instead of our daughter bothering someone else.
2006-09-05 13:24:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who knows, maybe she is just selfish, maybe the women should just ask her why.. I spent near 10 years of my life caring for special needs children.. It was the best 10 years of my life.. Not only were the kids great.. They were so loving and so giving..Most could have been easily cared for at home.. There was one boy who's family was all lawyers and judges.. This kid just wanted to sit around and be loved.. Not an evil hurtful bone in his body. he needed very little care, just love and attention.. I guess when your that busy making money you loose track of what is important.. His twin brother is also a judge now.. He used to visit Timmy, at Christmas, but that stoped. I miss the Job somtimes.. But with a wife and family of my own I needed to make more money.. The other great part of the job was that the employees were 90% female, and mostly college students.. Oh, what fun I had..
2006-09-05 13:21:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's likely that she's afraid that maybe she can't handle the responsibility. Fact is, "un"challanged kids are hard enough to manage but a hyper-active child who can't talk is more than a handful and something most people might balk at being asked to babysit. I know I wouldn't want to do it -- and it wouldn't be out of a lack of love, caring, or respect, but rather a matter of knowing my own limitations.
2006-09-05 13:18:58 · answer #6 · answered by My Evil Twin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mentally challenged children are alot of responsibility. she probably doesnt want to stuff anything up and is a little too intence. it doesnt make her a bad friend its just hard if u dont know what to do
2006-09-05 13:15:32 · answer #7 · answered by chlo_bo69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe she is scared ...it aint her responsibility anyways i am bipolar with anger and anxioty and my kids are well 1 bipolar with all sorts of stuff the otha is ADD the otha is ADHD..and i never ask anyone to do anything for me why? its not their job its ours ..plus we just called a sitter not our friends
2006-09-05 13:16:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she doesn't like kids.The kid scares her.she's small minded,how about asking her? I would.
2006-09-05 13:15:50 · answer #9 · answered by scott m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cuss the kid is nuts
2006-09-05 13:19:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋