How do you deal with feeling jealous in not being the one preggo?

Question

I hope I am not the only one that feels this way ,IT hurts so I am childless and cant seem to just get preggo. I cry a lot when i am alone. Everyoen around me is and they already have kids, Someday I feel I can take no more . i guess it is the why me We have been trying for 3 months and nothing some ppl get off the pill and they are right away

Answer 1

The way you are feeling right now is very normal, that does not make you a bad person and no, you are not the only one who feels like that. Before I got pregnant I used to be so jealous, specially one time when I went to a pot lock and the woman I dislike the most was pregnant, I was having these crazy thoughts about her and her unborn child, I didn't want to feel that way but I could just not feel happy for her. I knew that I had to stop feeling like this because it is not healthy. I knew that I had to feel happy and healthy to be able to carry a little one inside of me, and two months later I was pregnant. Trying to conceive is very frustrating and some times it is not fun at all, just going month by month thinking that you only have a few days during the month to get pregnant and when you take those tests and they come out negative is like the worst thing that could ever happen to you. You might not be able to change your feelings but I can tell you that if you focus in yourself and don't let the other ones bother you too much you will feel better and then your body will be healthier. In the mean time try checking out these websites, www.preseed.com, www.fertilefocus.com, early-pregnancy-tests.com

Answer 2

Oh honey, I am so sorry.

I already had one child, but really wanted another child (I was so scared my child would be an only child)....I KNOW I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU FULLY BECAUSE I HAVE ONE,

That said, I went through 2 years of infertilty, surgery, treatments and was just about to go through another surgery when I found out I was pregnant.

It was awful and I cried all the time...especially alone, especially after visits at the fertility doctor.

The whole thing caught me off guard........my son was a first try baby. I went through every month on the rollercoaster, taking my temp, waiting to ovulate....trying desperately...fighting to keep my hopes down.......getting all these symptoms in my head....CRASH!!!!! Not pregnant!

I kid you not, EVERY month I found out I wasn't pregnant I either had a baby shower to attend, or saw my pregnant sister-in-law who was happily growing her fourth.

I had a theme song to help me out.......Bad Day...sang it all the time. I realized that it isn't like there are only so many babies in the world and the pregnant ladies are getting the last ones.

Two things, it has only been three months, the average couple takes a year...you're ok......

Take you temperature every day so you can track your ovulation, use predictor kits so you are timing it right (do it before and on date of ovulation...AFTER doesn't do much good).

Stay in bed with your legs up for 20 minutes after intercourse and I've heard missionary is best.

Make sure your husband is wearing boxers not briefs and is eating plenty of green leafy vegetables. He should take zinc.

You should be on prenatals.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I feel the same way, everyone in my family has kids, my brothers my sister even my 14 year old cousin got pregnant recently, imagine how it felt to know that a girl that young that barely knows how to take care of her own self be able to get pregnant so easily, I felt so jealous when I found out. It sucks to feel that way but I guess we just have to be patient, our time will come don't worry and keep yourself busy try not to think about it so much, JUST RELAX!!

Answer 4

Why would you waste your time and energy on being jealous of people with babies? You should be happy for people because you know more than anyone how much of a blessing a baby is. I know it's hard, my ex and I tried for a year to get pregnant and never did. But sometimes it's just not the right time! Just relax enjoy the children you get to be around and when the time is right you will get your baby too.

Answer 5

Just try to patient. Soon you will have a baby of your own. Too much stress might be the reason you are not getting pregnant. Relax and when the time is right you will get pregnant. I tried for a year and nothing and then when we quit trying so hard I got pregnant. Good luck.

Answer 6

you are not alone. i have been ttc for 2 years. All of my friends, neighbors, and everyone around are having kids or getting pregnant. Its hard. Emotionally it will drain you and hurt. Since you have only been trying for 3 months, its not that bad. Do the every other day thing, lie on your back afterwards for 20 min or so, have fun don't get upset yet.

Answer 7

I have been trying for 10years but I will not give up. I am 32 and my husband is 41. Of course I got jealous when my 17 years old niece and 14 year old cousin told me they were pregnant. Yes I was jealous when my co-worker who was trying for 7 months told me she was pregnant. All I can think of is God has a plan for me and yes its taking a long time but if its meant to be it will be.

Answer 8

You aren't the only one who feels this way. My husband & I have been married for almost 16 yrs. I was on BC for most of those years. We have been trying to conceive for about a year now & it seems like it will never happen. Sorry I don't have an answer to your question, just know you are not the only one. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

I am not sure how to avoid being jealous. It took my husband and I tried for three years, and eventually tried fertility treatments (Which did NOT work!!!) before we got pregnant naturally. All my acquaintances were having unwanted pregnancies and teenagers all over the place were getting knocked up. I wanted to punch them all!!!!
I ended up avoiding friends and having a lot of hate. That being said. Those emotions were very negative and I am sure that played into our infertility. Truthfully, I finally gave it all to God and said it was in his hands. I soon got pregnant naturally.
I HATED it when people said "hang in there" or just when you least expect it" or "when you adopt you'll get pregnant" those people just don't understand what it is like.
that being said, try to surround yourself with positive things and take good care of yourself.

Answer 10

hi nicole

i know exactly how u feel, everyone around me seems to be pregnant, my b/f's sister has just had a baby, my 41yr old sister had a baby that she didt really want to start with, its a matter of having good support around you, alough most family and friends dont actually realise how bad ur feeling its very hard to show enthusium for the forthcomming baby's of friends and family.

i personally find it hard from time to time, theres times when u just wanna shout "why me lord" but there must be a reason, were goning to be excellent carers or listeners, were here for another reason

take care of urself xx