anyone had to deal with getting an emotionally abusive step parent? and your real parent lets it happen?

Question

social services come to investigate and found no evidence, no bruises, nice house so no action taken. stepmother keeps threatening to put kids in an orphanage. kids not allowed to see real mum. kids are force-fed food they dont want. told they are not wanted + should never have been born. but dad calls the kid a liar because he dont wanna lose his wife. there is never any evidence of any of this because it is all verbal + there is never any PROOF that is going on. there are no other relatives who want to take these kids on

Answer 1

This is horrible; its a no-win scenario; I know because I was emotionally abused by both my parents to a point where they allowed my uncle to sexually abuse me for 9 years because they didnt want the neighbours to know what was going on. All you can do it keep a diary of what is done, and said, with the dates, (and keep a copy) and then get it to Social Services. Tell them if they dont do something, you are going to the local newspaper with the diary. Keep the copy so that when Social Services say they have lost the diary, you can take the copy to the newspapers. Good luck, from the bottom of my heart, and God bless you.

Answer 2

The best way to deal with this is to play her at her own game. If you don't think you will get away with a tape recorder this is what you should do. Next time she says she is going to have you adopted tell her that that is fine, you would rather live anywhere than with her. Tell her to phone Social Services and arrange it, you really don't care. One of the reasons she does this all the time is because she doesn't want to share you with your Dad and she wants to hurt you, so don't let her. Talk to your brothers and sisters and present a united front. If she does go really beserk and hit you then go straight to the police, you now have your evidence. They can question your brothers and sisters and you can request not to have your stepmother or father present. The police will be able to find you Mum to act as your adult supervision or will have a Family Liason Officer come in. Good luck and remember that you don't have to put up with her forever, only till you are old enough to move out, then you never have to see her again.

Answer 3

1. She can't stop court ordered visitation.. She can back up her spouses wishes, support them, and enforce them if he wants her too. If there is court ordered visitation than themother has to call and file a complaint that they are not letting the children see her.

2. Threatening an orphanage is not gonna get her in trouble. What did the kids do that prompted the comment.

3. Force fed means restrain you and feed you. Insisting you eat what is on the table is not force feeding. If you don't like what she makes I think that's just tough. Make yourself something else.

4. Kids lie to get what they want and make many situations out to be something they are not.

5. In the U.S, they cannot record any conversations in a state that is two party. A two party state means that both or all parties to the conversation must be notified that it is being recorded. In a one party state, as long as the person recording is part of the conversation then it should be OK.

Answer 4

This is horrible!
I went through exactly the same thing with my step-father and it nearly destroyed me, luckily my breaking point came at 18, and i managed to move out of the parental home, how old are all of you? have you tried sitting down with your dad, all of you together and talking to him about it?
I had a really good talk with my mum last month about everything that happened in the past, and she admitted to me that she knew it was going on, but didn't know what to do about it and also she has children with him so needed his security!
There are always ppl you can talk to who will help you and believe you, helplines such as child line or the samaritins.
You can always put yourself into care, but sometimes it can be difficult!
I feel so bad for you as i know how difficult it can be!
But remember you will get thru it as long as you are strong and remember that this is not a situation that will last forever! Don't let it hold you back, make sure it spurs you on to do well at school so you can be independant from this vile women!
Please however do not fall out with your father over this, I know its easy to hate hime for what he his doing or not doing, but at the same time he is your father and aside from your brothers and sisters the only reletive left. He is in a tough position as well!
If you ever want to chat your more than welcome to!
I really want to help you!
Good luck, keep your chin up and remember, this isn't forever!
Georgie
[e-mail]

Answer 5

Yes I was abused but some of these one time 'experiences' leave me a bit jaded.
I had a step dad when I was in kindergarten and first grade.
He would beat me senseless.
He would make me shine his shoes and when it (always) was never good enough he would beat me. The beatings were not as bad as waiting for him to come home and inspect the shoes.
He made a 1.5 inch thick paddle to beat me with because his arms and hands would get sore. He then had to drill holes into the paddle so the strike would satisfy his sick mind. He broke it on my backside. That was the time I was placed in the hospital. My mother intervened before but that only meant she would get the beating. I preferred it when he hit me and not my mother.
It got so bad that I knew no one would ever be able to hurt me by beatings. I had a place deep in my mind that protected me from him.
If you want sympathy you have mine.
If you really want it to stop then get it recorded and report it just like the person before me said. Keep a journal with dates, record it, and bring it to the authorities.
You dad wants to pretend it does not happen. You need to get help from outside.

Answer 6

You need to get the kids a little recorder to hide and tape what is being said. You need to get those kids out of that house weeks ago. Have the kids talk to a counselor at school. Verbal abuse is just as bad a physical, they need help there mother needs to step up and fight for her kids. I am sorry but it's just wrong.

Answer 7

Well my kids step mom is verbally abusive and i fought for custody and well i have to have a home study done of my house, but the judge gave me custody, but sometimes kids say things to get what they want, my kids changed their story a few times but we still came out on top. How do you know she is like that have you heard her talk that way to the kids? Are you one of the kids? if you are then go to your school and tell your teacher and tell her or him everyday, keep a journal at school and don't give up it will work out some one will belive you. I belive you Good Luck

Answer 8

Your mum is not letting it happen she doesn't know and your dad doesn't want to believe it. Have you asked him if you can see your real mum?
I can't really help but I want you to know that I care. I guess that eventually someone will believe you. Have you told teachers in school that you want to see your real mum and have not been allowed to? Maybe they can help.
Most of all, don't believe that you were not wanted or should not have been born. She is probably jealous of the fact that you are loved by your dad and is scared he loves you more than her.
Truth will out. Hang in there :-)

Answer 9

This is tough, because there is no real evidence. Talk to a counselor at school. Let them know what is going on and how it is affecting you. You dad probably doesn't know how to handle the situation and you have every right to be disappointed in him. But understand that he is human, and if she doesn't do it in front of him, he doesn't know what to do. Talk to other family members, grandparents, aunts, uncles. Her true colors will come through.

Answer 10

Yes I have had to deal with it. My son went with his dad to a visit and on the way home with the dad driving step mother hit him in the face. I took him to the police station and they wrote a report. Now my son will never go back to his dad house. My son is 14 and he said she called him bad names. All his dad said. Honey don't get so upset. She is a real winner He will go out with his dad to eat or something but not with her along.