for 6 years, We broke up for 6 months about 3 years or more ago, and when we broke up I was dating this really nice cute but older guy for the entire 6 months. I was really in love with him, but I guess my bf's love was more important because I chose him over the other guy. Now it has been more than 3 years and I think about him often I even tried to call him once about 1 and 1/2 years ago, but I forgot the number and dialed someone else in Calif. where he lives, I have been trying to get his email address and I want to apologize to him for the way that I left him, I feel really bad and will until I get to tell him how sorry I am. This is how I left, he had bought me round trip tickets to see him and I never got on the plane instead I was just starting to patch things up with my now bf of 6 yrs and so I never got on and when he realized that I wasn't coming to see him he started to call me like crazy and I didn't answer for 1 day and when I did I lied to him and told him that on my way
2006-09-05 11:50:05 · 21 answers · asked by ~Ronyea Q♪ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
on my way to the airport I was pulled over and got arrested for drugs(which he kinda knew I was not into drugs at all but I stuck to that story) then later my bf answered my cell the next time he called and told him that I was with him and not to call anymore. I talked to him once breifely but I didn't get the chance to apologize for he was very upset (can you blame him) and then I have never seen or heard from him except he sent one of his ex-gf's to my work to get some things from me that belonged to him. I feel like crap and have ever since this day I want more than anything to apologize but I think if my man found out I was trying to contact him he would freak the f out... So Is it wrong of me to want to get in touch with him after this long and Is it wrong of me to even want to because me and my man now have just bought a home together and we are planning to get married I guess I am scared of bad carma if I don't apologize and ask for forgiveness, plus i want to pay for the tkts.
2006-09-05 11:50:26 · update #1
Leave the man alone. Don't try to contact him just to clear your own conscience. You apologizing to him isn't going to do anything but make YOU feel better. What if he has moved on and is no longer angry with you? You contacting him out of the blue might open up a new can of worms for him.
All you are really trying to do is clear your conscience because you know how wrong you were. Just leave things the way they are and move on. You made a mistake with the way you handled things. An apology is not going to change that and it's for sure not going to change the way this guy feels about you.
Just let it be.
2006-09-05 11:54:29 · answer #1 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're wrong for wanting to apologize to this man. If you never get a chance to do so, hey--at least you tried. Just don't pull another fiasco like that in the future. I guess you could chalk that up to immaturity and irresponsibility. I'm sure that guy has gotten over it by now, I hope. Where there's a will, there's a way. You'll eventually get in touch with him if it's that important to you.
2006-09-05 12:01:34 · answer #2 · answered by truth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whew! That was a story and a half!
Ok, sweetie-here's the thing...this guy is hurt by you, yes. You have a new relationship now that needs your attention. You want to get closure with the Ex and make sure you made the right decision and I understand that. However, the right thing to do is tell your current man that you have unresolved issues with the ex and that until you resolve those issues, you can't movie forward with him.
Then, find the ex, no matter what it takes and talk things out with him.
2006-09-05 11:57:24 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he already wrote you and the price of the tickets off; at this point, just leave it be. get counseling to resolve your grief & guilt. also to get some insight into why you been behaving inconsistently & maybe trying to sabotage yourself?
a guy in a 6 year relationship with you who hasn't married you probably isn't going to, so he's not worth passing up a blind date for, let alone a 6 month basically good relationship.
face it, you dumped the one (perhaps inappropriately) and need to dump the other. it's time to move on and meet an entirely new person.
2006-09-05 11:58:19 · answer #4 · answered by knewknickname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you need to apologize, try getting his address and send him some money for the tickets with an apology. You shouldn't be doing anything further about this or you might ruin the great thing you have going for you now.
2006-09-05 11:54:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, you could write him a letter, send the money for the tickets (or at least what you think they cost) and that's it. You would feel better and he has no obligation to call you.
Sometimes, you just have to live with the guilt of what you've done. On the scale of relationships and people, what you did wasn't all that horrible. I've known a lot worse.
2006-09-05 11:59:02 · answer #6 · answered by auntiegrav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sort of seems such as you're able to desire to not get that danger. it sort of feels this guy grew to become into giving his all to show that he wanted you & interior the tip you broke his coronary heart. it would make you sense greater clever i be responsive to in case you obtain closure and have been given to talk to him. think of of it this way although. The time that has long previous via, you tow have not talked and there's a robust danger that a guy that sturdy has discovered somebody and moved on himself. Do you realyl desire to reopen old wounds, nake him question the female he's with and do to her what you probably did to him? it is your life so do what you think of is powerful to make issues suitable. it may desire to artwork out for the main suitable and not something is going incorrect, yet there is an danger that this could develop into pandora's field beginning...
2016-10-01 08:47:32 · answer #7 · answered by mcfaul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the poor man alone. You have dished him enough dirt. Too bad about your emotions. You'll just have to learn to deal with them. As for your present man, may he see you with true eyes, and marry you anyway. No one should start a life long commitment based on lies.
I realize that what I said is harsh. But it is also truthful. Don't spread your misery around any more than you have.
2006-09-05 12:03:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it's wrong of you to want to apologize and make amends, but it will hurt your boyfriend's feelings. It's not worth hurting him to make yourself feel better. However, if, in the future, you should happen to run into him, do, by all means, apologize. Just don't make an extraordinary effort to find him. You need to work on you being honest with yourself and others.
2006-09-05 11:59:13 · answer #9 · answered by pessimoptimist 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should definitely try and get in contact, and apologize, can you get an address for him, i'm sure the guy was gutted when he found out you were seeing someone else, why not just write him a letter, it's easier to say how you feel on paper....hope everything works out ok...
2006-09-05 11:55:16 · answer #10 · answered by gina30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋