2006-09-05 11:47:23 · 32 answers · asked by Gary H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I run my own business and she regularly contacts my business partners slandering me ... they ignore her to some degree .. but the comments from them are getting worse . My family and friends have BEGGED me to leave her . This has been happening for over a year now.
She refuses councelling
2006-09-05 11:55:21 · update #1
READ THIS HONEST ANSWER: Sometimes the best way to help someone is to leave them alone. If she is ruining your life, she may have a misery loves company attitude and wants for your life to be miserable because she thinks that if your life is good outside of her, you will leave. She doesn't realize this is making you want to leave. Let her know how you feel, that you love her and want to work through her problems, but that if she is not going to try, you are not going to be miserable with her.
2006-09-05 11:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by Shanigirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didnt give us any explanation of how she is destroying your life. So you're making difficult to us give an opinion (since youre giving just your side of the story, and a very limited one).
The only thing you made very clear is that you think that to stick with her will be "a vain hope".
So if you dont love her, have faith in her, or trust her, you better tell her the truth about how you feel. Try marriage counseling if you think there is still little hope (I strongly believe you have to try this at least).... And make both happy by being honest and end the relationship in a friendly way. That will be better than living a lie and make both lives miserable.
2006-09-05 11:55:21 · answer #2 · answered by Daniela Sylvester 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bad life is mostly what she is use too,and thinks that it is supposed to be that way and can`t handle happy.
maybe she want you to divorce her so she can get a pay out,who knows the mind of a woman.
Makes me wonder why we fall for them in the first place.
I have had a bad life and i am still having a bad life,but i make the best of things rather than being miserable,yet i stick by and support my ex partner still after 10 years,due to the 4 children that she has and 1 that we have.
It would`t be any different if you was not there,except you get a chance to go home of a night time and have some sort of peace.
2006-09-05 12:40:39 · answer #3 · answered by asmoothrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry hon. You sound like a really nice person, and you have put up with this, and stuck up for her, tried to get her to a counsellor, and I think you must know that youve run out of options now. The fact that she has had a bad life doesnt give her the right to ruin yours, and I think all you can do now is just pack up and leave. She doesnt love you at all, or she would'nt behave like this. Just move away, and try to put your life back together again before she makes you as neurotic and unbalanced as she is. Very good luck.
2006-09-05 12:02:27 · answer #4 · answered by k0005kat@btinternet.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can destroy your career, personal relationships etc without YOU EMPOWERING HER TO DO SO. And of course you should stick by her, unless your vows were, "But if things get uncomfortable, I'm so abandoning you."
Also, the fact that you think hope is "vain" in your marriage bespeaks your truest attitude: you want to scrap your marriage, making your wife out to be the "bad guy." Not smart.
Gotta agree with the others. Get some marriage counseling. Sounds like BOTH of you have issues.
2006-09-05 11:55:41 · answer #5 · answered by HyperBeauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok. a marriage means a partnership. and it's GOTTA be, at least in THEORY, healthy, happy and POSITIVE.
if u both try realllly hard to be those 3 things, u will probably get thru most of the hard times. but if one of u ain't giving ur all, then it's gonna crumble down, and u have no real foundation. have u talked to her? communicate to her what is going on. u need to figure out what u expect from yourself as a husband. what u expect from your wife. and what u expect from the Marriage. next, u gotta find out what your wife expects from you as a husband, from herself as a wife, and from the Marriage. if u guys are on the same page, want the same things, u will have something to build upon. but if u have completely different ideas, and different focuses, u will have a rocky relationship.
sticking by her, because u love her and u respect your vows is one thing. however, if she continues to drag You down, becomes a Negative influence on your (plural!) life, that is a huge problem. she is not doing her part! what is going on? u gotta be able to communciate w/ this woman, and TRY to fix things. if she is not willing, or not able, u may have to think about separating.
loving her is giving her the chance to change, to fix things, With you. loving her is NOT staying with her..... because eventually u will regret ur decision, and even treat her badly...and that is not good. Love is part of the relationship, but not everything.. u gotta be able to use that love to FUEL ur relationship into something MORE..to Grow together, to make eachother Better, always better each day. learning and growing w/ eachother is they key... the way u are going right now, which is Negative, not Positive... is not a good indicator for the future. be careful, and figure things out NOW. nip it in the bud before it gets worse. u want what is best for You, Your Wife, and Your Marriage. an unhappy, negative, destroyed marriage is NOT what is best, for either of you.
2006-09-05 11:54:11 · answer #6 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy a tree shreading machine.When she is asleep hit her over the head.Then get some mates around open a few cans then takes bets on what perecnt of her body comes flying out the other side of the tree shredder.You will probely go to jail for this but you won't have a career or wife so you won;t have any more worries.Check out this web site for tree shreading joy www.enviroplant.co.uk
2006-09-05 11:54:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has had a bad life she needs all the emotional support you can give her. Try to find ways to lessen the impact she has on you. With love and encouragement I am sure she will realise what effect she is having on you personally too. She maybe doesn't realise how bad things are. Stick by her and help her through it all, you will both come out the other side stronger I am sure. Good Luck
2006-09-05 11:51:41 · answer #8 · answered by Mozzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to talk to her. And if this doesnt work out, then both of you should go to counseling. How is she destroying your career? Is she heavily involving herself, is she making rumors, is she making it impossible for you to concentrate? What is the problem. Whatever it may be I am sure that you should be able to talk to her and keep her out of it. Now about your personal life I think that for this you need counseling. You and your wife should also think about having a little bit of privacy. Maybe sometime where you can spend it by your self and her by her self. Maybe she is too involved in everything that you do and we all know that is not good.
2006-09-05 11:55:19 · answer #9 · answered by gm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not having a go at you but my husband said the same thing about me and what I thought I as doing was confiding in his friends onthe issues about our marriage i.e he was having an affair and I was devastated and bitter
You need to sit down and give her some quality time to find to why she is doing this. It could be a range of things that you have not mentioned.If you still lov her and want to go to counselling you can go by yourself.some counsellors have programs for one partner and they actually work but you may have to change as well.You may even win her over by your positve changes
Marriage takes a lot of work.Your spouse should be priority over self and your business.You need to do some Self analysis to see if you have contributed to her behavior
2006-09-06 01:40:23 · answer #10 · answered by JUSEve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋