My husband, and therefore my in-laws, are Nigerians (Yorubans to be exact) and I want to learn as much as I can about their culture.
I've spent some time in Lagos and I, obviously, learn a lot from my husband, but I feel I'd also like to do some background reading. My husband can't always explain where the traditions come from or why some things are/aren't acceptable, and I think understanding the origins would help me understand the way things are generally.
The difference in cultures does, of course, bring up some problems from time to time, not so much with my husband and myself, as we know each other so well, but with myself and my husband's family. They have never left Nigeria and can't quite understand why I do and say the things I do sometimes. Is there any way I can help them see that I'm doing my best to respect their culture, but they have to appreciate that I can't just change who I am and what I believe because I'm now married to a Nigerian?
2006-09-05 11:18:04 · 8 answers · asked by Friz 2 in Travel ➔ Africa & Middle East ➔ Other - Africa & Middle East
I'm not just trying a Yoruba! He's my husband!!
2006-09-06 00:02:39 · update #1
Yoruba culture is vast and indepth, might take you the rest of your life to study and understand. I can only give you tips about what Yorubas cherish and no matter what you do they would never compromise. Forget the origin as most of them cannot tell you where certain things originated from
Traditionally they see a wife as a newcomer in the family so they bully you into respecting everyone from the husband`s family, even a new born baby is not to be addressed by first name (funny)
A man giving his wife helping hand in domestic chore is seen as been soft or henpecked, dont allow him to help you out when they are around.
Dont drink alcohol, wine or smoke while they are around (to them smoking or drinking is synonymous to truancy and low life)
Dont be sexy in your dressing or wear revealing clothes hence they call you a tramp.
Girl oh girl dont ever sit down leg open up (even mistakenly) hence they tell him to dump you cos you are no better than a hawker
They dont joke with hospitality ( entertain them with food and drinks anytime they come visiting )although they might not reciprocate this when you visit them, funny enough they expect you to do all the cooking alone.
They want you to start raising a family months after your marriage to their son and if you have not, start tonight hence you wont last.
You will make a sweet daughter in-law if you always buy them gifts.
The list is endless but these are the main things that cut across most Yoruba regions.
I hope you find these helpful, but if you want to study more tell your husband to get you a book called "Asa ati Ise ile Yoruba"
2006-09-05 12:10:27 · answer #1 · answered by Junior 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think mixed culture marriages /relationships will always throw up cultural problems even as I found out when I had a relationship with a German women even a country as European as Germany have different ways of doing things I used to have problems with her family I don,t know if you are both of Nigerian descent cos you don,t actually say! But if you could strike up some sort of dialogue with your hubby's family probably an older person maybe they could help to understand the culture differences.I found out the reason my exes family did not like me is because one of the family got killed toward the end of WW2 during the bombing of Dresden! doubt if this helps you very much but I have tried to help! I used to work with an Asian girl and we spoke about how difficult it was for her to have any type of relationship with anybody not of Asian descent! even other girls if they were not Asian found our conversations very interesting at the time I was totally ignorant to the extent of the problems she had so I can imagine that you maybe have similar issues
2006-09-05 11:56:46 · answer #2 · answered by PARADOX 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, you're Nigerian(including me) and be pleased with it, you at the instant are not black american or african american via way of life and you mustn't be compelled to be in a fashion of life it is not yours just to thrill human beings in keeping with their very own insecurities. additionally I even have acquaintances of many cultures, and that they include their cultures too. I recommend you reside faraway from the group you're in & locate acquaintances that think of such as you using fact from what i'm examining they're peer pressuring you to think of like them or be like them via tension, do not fall for it using fact extreme college isn't constantly and you wont see any of those human beings lower back afterwards, include your 9ja way of life.
2016-10-01 08:44:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to your local library there should be plenty of information there to help you with what you are looking for, or just simply ask your partner or future in laws who better to explain everything about there culture to you.
2006-09-05 11:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
contact the university of ife. look for their homepage. and for god sake, Y Yoruba from all tribes? try an Ibo, and you will fell the difference.
2006-09-05 18:08:27 · answer #5 · answered by zilber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try www.answers.com or search google or yahoo for the information you want.
You can't make people see what they don't want to see.
2006-09-05 11:28:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask my friend Segun, he's from Lagos, he's lovely :)
2006-09-05 11:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by Dazza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try these links, hope they help:-)
http://uk.search.yahoo.com/search?search=nigerian+culture+&ei=UTF-8&fr=ks-ques&p=nigerian+culture+
http://uk.search.yahoo.com/search?search=books+on+nigerian+culture+&ei=UTF-8&fr=ks-ques&p=books+on+nigerian+culture+
2006-09-05 11:21:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋