If your marriage isn't really working then this should tell u that instead of looking for solutions to the problems outside of it, it's time to fix it. Although it's easier to fall for someone else when things are not working out, there's really NO good excuse to have a fling with another when your marriage is still salvageable. So u have a choice. Work on your marriage or leave and get a divorce. There's no "in between" because chances are, having an affair with someone will not solve your original problems and will only serve to compound it. So, take those rose colored glasses off and realize that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. She's 18 for christsakes! What are u thinking!
2006-09-05 10:36:48
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answer #1
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answered by cheetah7 6
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Hey work on the marriage. Get counseling. A young fling will be just that a fling with a young girl who is still playing grownup.
Meanwhile you will be giving up on a life time commitment.
I bet your wife was beautiful, funny, charming and all that when you met her. Find that part of her again.
The grass on the other side of the fense isn't greener...it is toxic and deceptive.
Concider this girl a sweet child and let go of your attraction to her. Think of her as a teenage and not the woman you want to rescue you. Because an 18 yr old girl can not fix things and rescue a 30 year old married man. The sooner you admit to that the sooner you will put your heart in the right place and work on your marriage not on your childish crush at the office.
2006-09-05 10:39:01
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answer #2
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answered by clcalifornia 7
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First of all can you really see your life without your wife? If you can then obviously there is a problem and something needs to be done about it. It is not fair to stayed married to your wife if you honestly want to be without her. However if you want to work things out with your wife i suggest counseling of some kind and it sounds like you guys have a lot to talk about. I am not saying that you should just jump into the other womans arms right away, but if you do decide to get divorced you need to take some time out for yourself. It is never a good thing to just jump into a relationship with someone else after such a big break up. Flirting with this girl could also be your cry out for attention and affection you do not seem to be recieving at home. There are a million answers to this question. But you have to decide what is right for you, dont let anyone tell you how to run your life. ultimately it is your heart and mind that make the decision.
2006-09-05 10:36:51
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answer #3
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answered by jancegreen 2
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If you do lose your head and get in bed with the 18 year old, you may well lose your entire financial future. Divorce laws can be brutal especially if your wife finds out you are having an affair.
If you are unhappy in your marriage, either fix it (the best thing) with counselling and behavior modificaitons or end it. Don't be surprised that by the time you end it, the 18 year old will have found another guy.
Seriously, check out the movie "American Beauty" and see what all of this leads to.
And yes, I understand about young ladies. I also understand what alimony is like. If all else fails, fantasize it is the 18 year old you are with when you are in bed with your wife. Poor substitute but may keep you sane for a bit longer.
2006-09-05 10:58:13
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answer #4
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answered by NeoArt 6
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Why give up on your marriage?
There is obviously a problem that need to be tackled, think back when you met your wife what was it that you liked about her what attracted you to her, and ask yourself has that person really changed the answer is no.
A big problem in relationships is that we stop playing the game we take each other for granted, we don't cuddle, of kiss or be affectionate with each other all these things in time lead to problems.
THE GRASS IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE LET ME ASSURE YOU OF THAT.
I would sit down with you wife and talk sort out your differences if you try this and it does not work then call it of before a third party gets involved.
2006-09-05 10:39:33
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answer #5
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answered by Mike A 1
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This is just a flame. What you are experiencing is very common when one or other person is not being romantic or paying to spending to much time on other things than your marriage. You can rekindle your marriage by talking with your wife and doing things with her that will bring you back to where your suppose to be. If you need any advice Im right here. You can email me at girl176a1@iwon.com I could suggest some dates like have a romantic dinner, a walk on the beach with her, A sunset watch with her, A vacation just the two of you. I have written a book that maybe you might be interested in On how to be Romantic. Anyways wish for 10 points.
2006-09-05 10:37:47
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answer #6
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answered by girl176a1 3
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Why did you marry if you still want to fool around!. Doesn't anyone take the vows seriously anymore? Work out the problems you have with your spouse - communicate. Since you don't know each other and didn't know each other before marriage a good place to start is at the beginning by sharing with each other the things that are important to each other and whether both of you are operating in the same value system/level. If not, someone needs to step up and grow up. Loyalty, Love, Patience and forgiveness! Hope you work it out!
2006-09-05 10:39:03
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answer #7
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answered by royalbluyonder 1
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she is a young girl, she is probably playing the field herself.
Do you still love your wife?
Maybe you are arguing constantly because you want more of an excuse to leave if you know what I mean.
This young girl? You say she knows nothing about your marriage.. do you mean she thinks you are single or you are having marriage problems?
Are you looking for a LTR with this 18 year old, the average 18year old dont want to settle down just yet!
Maybe its the fact that she is a teen that is getting you hot under the collar.. most men would love a younger woman, but there are implications with age gap relationships, the older person has to act younger or the younger person has to act older.
Chances are, you will get with this young bird, then you will want your wife back... it always happens! GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER
2006-09-07 06:41:49
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answer #8
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answered by Rebz 5
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Instead of running to a child of 18 you should be working on the marriage. What do you really think will come of that girl in your office ?? SHE IS 18. Still a teenager for god sake. Your heart isn't the problem here your brain is.
2006-09-05 10:36:53
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answer #9
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answered by JustMe 6
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There are steps you can take to actually build a strong, stable marriage and avoid divorce. Read here https://tr.im/TzcY1
Here are some key steps to apply to your marriage:
- Start by understanding and being informed.
You can never be too informed about tools, methods and studies about building successful marriages. Understand the risk factors like your age and maturity at marriage can determine how successful it will be, the anatomy of an affair and what you can do after infidelity. Understand the success factors like the personal and psychological circumstances that will influence your marriage, what are the tools and approaches available to you in dealing with conflict, and numerous other relevant data. All this information is readily available to you whether through self-help material, through a counselor, support group or other venues. In fact, we have made it our commitment to provide these to you in different formats to help you make the best marriage you can.
The thing is, remember, this is information is not available for you to begin hyper-psychoanalyzing your relationship, yourself and your partner. It's not a matter of spewing trivia for the sake of conversation ' information is there for you to ponder over and internalize to help you transform yourself and your marriage. That includes maturing to such a point that you become more competent in your knowledge but more prudent in approach.
2016-02-10 21:28:19
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answer #10
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answered by Hye 3
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