I have this friend, that is WAY older, more like a mom to me. She has been drinking alot of alcohol lately. I dont want her to become and alcoholic. I tried writing her a letter, but she took it the wrong way... how could i tell her nicely?
2006-09-05 10:23:57 · 27 answers · asked by cluelessclumsyblonde 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm sorry you're going through this. Sometimes adults have a hard time dealing with things & unfortunately turn to alcohol or other things to forget what's bothering them.
She probably knows what she's doing, but doesn't understand the affect that it's having on people around her, or herself.
If she's drinking that much there is a reason. Maybe you could help her figure out what the reason is and work on helping her find a solution. I'm sorry to say that's she's probably not going to listen to you. Just be there for her because it sounds like she needs a friend. But whatever you do, please do NOT join her in the drinking!
2006-09-05 10:28:49 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, if she's drinking way too much, sounds like she's already hooked.
Yes, she's like a mom to you, but you need to stay away from her. If she took this one little letter the wrong way, what will she do next? Hit you? I lived 2 1/2 years WAY to long with an alcoholic, I was married with an infant. I can tell you from experience that the problem doesn't get better, it gets worse. And usually some will get violent like my late husband did.
Stay away or she will try and pull you down with her, or worse...try to hurt you in a drunken rage. Sometimes you just have to back off a little and let the person learn on their own.
2006-09-05 17:35:17 · answer #2 · answered by Voice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a "14 year old", don't worry over it, she's an adult. Just tell her you are concerned, and that you care about her, so you don't want to see her hurt. Ocassionally, I like to go out and "drink alot"0_o too(once every4-6 months or around the holidays). Adults do that sometimes. If shes doing it every day though, it is a problem.You are a nice person to worry about her, and I hope she appreciates having a friend like you:)
2006-09-05 17:29:32 · answer #3 · answered by ralahinn1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is no "nice" way to tell some one their behavior is a problem. It's never certain how a drinker perceives their drinking. She may well know it's a problem but is not ready to face the music. You might obtain a booklet from Alcoholics Anonymous and get it to her. Bless you for your concern.
2006-09-05 17:44:23 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The amount you drink is of a concern to me. When you drink, you behave in the following way, which is totally unlike when you don't drink (insert the way she behaves). When you are sober you are (kind/gentle/other adjectives) but when you drink you become like a different person, and when you have (x many) you seem to get out of hand and lose control of how much you drink. It's affecting (insert names of family/friends/or self) because (insert how it affects them/you). I like you a lot, but when you are drinking I don't want to be around you.
By the way, it won't make them stop, but just by stating it, you've done them a great service. That way, when they become willing to stop (they have to find their own willingness), they will at least know how much it has affected other people.
I'm in AA.
2006-09-05 17:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say: " _______, I need to talk to you, and then say, ok, I need you to understand that I don`t want you to take this the wrong way, but all this drinking and alcohol has got to stop.....maybe a drink every now and then, but I really care about you and you`re like a second mom to me but all this stuff is going to KILL you someday and I would appriciate if you would get your freiken head out of the clouds and understand that it`s not cool and it`s not fun and It will take you away but when you start thinking ohh I`ll stop in a week....NO....the time is now!!! If you don`t stop now you`re gonna die fast and I don`t want you to go yet and neither does everyone else......the question is are you gonna stop and listen to me or are you just going to let my words run one ear and out the other and kill yourself? now i love you and i want you to quit its your discision but i think that you know the right thing to do, and i hope you choose that way to go.
2006-09-05 17:54:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already did it sounds like in a letter but you either worded it wrong or she is pee ed off because she knows your right and is trying to defend her drinking. Anyone who has a drinking problem will not get help until they are willing to admit and except they need help no matter what or how often you tell them what you think.
2006-09-05 17:31:51 · answer #7 · answered by Linda R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously if she took it the wrong way she is threatened by what you have said...contact Ala none or Alcoholics Anonymous and they will show or tell you how to deal with it
2006-09-05 17:26:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come out and tell her you want to have a heart-to-heart with her. Explain that you are concerned about her because it seems to you that she is drinking more and more lately? Ask her if something is wrong?
2006-09-05 17:27:02 · answer #9 · answered by ihaftaknow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too young to hang out with someone that old and think it is fine. I am 26 and the only 14 year old i would hang with would have to be family.
2006-09-05 17:26:39 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋