Why is it that people will laugh along with you, but if you cry, they ignore you?

Question

It seems selfish to me. And yet, it sounds logical.

In times of sorrow, people seem to shun me. But when I laugh, they laugh too.

I feel awful, because I have seen people who appear to be sad before, and although I WANTED to ask them what the matter was, I didn't. I think I felt anxiety, because I wasn't sure that I could help them.

Why do people do this? Is it in our nature?

Answer 1

You've heard the saying, "Misery loves company"? Psychological studies have shown that the more accurate phrase is "Misery loves miserable company". So, when you're sad, you want others near you who are also sad. And when you're happy, you don't want to be brought down by those who are sad. The only exception is a good friend, who will care about your sadness enough to empathize with you, and try to help.

Answer 2

Laughing is very easy to do and makes one feel elated, while crying makes you feel sad for someone. I think a lot of people feel uncomfortable when they see someone cry because they do not know what to say, aren't sure if that person wants their help, can or cannot relate and don't want to make the situation worse. I think it is just ones nature and how they were raised as to whether or not they are empathetic. I personally would ask someone if they were ok, even someone I did not know, if I saw them crying.

Answer 3

The worse that could happen is someone crying next to me.
I want to hold them and comfort them but usually I don't.
It's kind of a dilemma.
I just stand there... babble some words... people must think I'm stupid or something...
Well, the fact is that I don't like to intrude in other people's lives.
Joy is openly shared but sadness isn't.
Questioning the reason for sadness and tears often leads to the person getting reminded of the bad things that are happening.
So I just stay still.
I'm there but I don't force my help and support.

Answer 4

Well maybe next time you see someone sad, try and talk to them, so that they can let out whatever is going on. try to meet other people maybe the ppl ur around right now are mean-spirited. try and do stuff with other people. people who genuinely care. people can laugh easier. they just find amusement whereas crying deals with an actual problem that could be hidden...some of its in our nature, in our environment we've grown up in, etc. it all depends on what you've been thru or taught and how you deal with certain situations

Answer 5

often times people don't know how to talk to someone in emotional pain. They don't want to unintentionally cause someone to dwell on that pain but they also don't want to brush over it and pretend like its not there. Its a hard balancing act. But i do agree with you, people shouldn't abandon their friends in times of need.
Its something we all need to work on, learning how to be a good listener when a friend needs to talk. Trying to help them out when they have problems, even if they do cry.

Answer 6

People want to laugh to feel good to have their emotions soar above. When you see someone crying or down you don't want to feel that way. Which is why, i believe, that others try to help or cheer them up. I have found though that teen girls sometime like to feel bad also which is why they like crying with friends.