He got divorced within the past few months. I definitely don't want to be too eager, and I know he will need time. However, he shows interest in me by asking about me through friends, and by his conversations. I don't know what subtle hints to give, just to let him know that if he is interested in a possible relationship, that I am too. But at the same time, I want them to be subtle enough so he doesn't think I am rushing or pushing him too soon. I have a feeling he is beginning to think I am uninterested, because I make little eye contact and conversation with him. However, I am only doing that so he doesn't feel pressured, or anything along those lines. I understand divorce is difficult, and each person needs a certain amount of time to get their life back in order. He didn't have kids with his first wife, and they were only married for three years. Help.
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2006-09-05 10:11:17 · 13 answers · asked by MSU 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I forgot to add that he is eight years older than me. I know age doesn't matter...but I don't want him to look at me as just a rebound girl.
2006-09-05 10:19:10 · update #1
How about asking him to met you for a drink or coffee? And be honest with him. Tell him you know he's newly divorced, and you just thought it would be fun for both of you to met somewhere. That way it doesn't seem like a "date" but it let's him know, hey, she's interested, but cautious.
The 8 year age difference, I think works in a relationship. Be careful of his feelings, he's been hurt, whether the divorce regardless of whose fault it was. So, please don't put it off any longer. If you think this is too pushy, do you go to a club regularly with friends, then them "hey, if you aren't doing anything Friday night, me and my friends go to....." again it's letting him know you are interested, but not pushing him.
I wish you good luck, and make your move soon, before somebody beats you to him...lol No, seriously, he needs to get out and meet people, get back into the swing of dating, and you sound like a very nice person, that wouldn't take advantage of him. Get to woman, what are you waiting for!
God bless us all............
2006-09-05 11:20:17 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 years is still a bit of time. I guess threw the same friends that he questions about you you could tell them you are interested in him. Or you could be a grown up and just tell him yourself. However remember that he is just getting out of a divorce with or without children and they did divorce for a reason. The other thing is that once divorced the 2nd marriage becomes a 50% chance of divorce. Don't rush into anything too hastly.
2006-09-05 10:22:32 · answer #2 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like u have the right attitude about it already but if u really want him try not to ignore him when he's near. Always greet him when u see him. U have to break the ice somehow and make him feel comfortable around u because as u realize, he must be scared to death about dating again. Then after you're more comfortable with each other, ask him to join u for lunch (not dinner) in that way it is non-threatening to him and he doesn't feel pressured but at the same time, don't expect anything in return.
Take it very slow. Don't worry about rushing him because more than likely, he knows where he stands as far as his "feelings" goes. Just remember that when u do spend time with him, there should be no strings attached and u have to make clear with him that u know where he's at and respect his space. When he's ready, u will know.
2006-09-05 10:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't rush him with anything so you can't go wrong in this relationship.he really need time.man need more time to recover from a divorce than a woman.womans are stronger.......
they are like a baby as long as you do what he wants he will listen to you,as long as you give him what he needs he will love you but it takes time and you have to be out of stress. talk to him about what he likes or what he wants and than you will be the best friend and than hes lover.it's just my opinion
2006-09-05 10:24:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were in his shoes, I would want you to talk with me. Tell straight out that you are interested, but that you do not want to rush me into anything. Be patient. Most guys don't get the subtle clues. Being open and forward with him may be the only way to get to him.
2006-09-05 11:01:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you just let him come to you if hes asking about you then he must be interested speak when you see him maybe smile and if you want to approach him dont ask for to much to soon wish you well.
2006-09-05 10:31:21 · answer #6 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you let your cousin know, she can put a feeler out there, maybe even suggest an outing with the 4 of you.
2016-03-17 08:50:11 · answer #7 · answered by Michele 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
spend some time w/him and ask if he's interested in anybody or if he's ready to date. that should be a good start and you might possibly get a bold answer from him. Good Luck!
2006-09-05 10:15:16 · answer #8 · answered by Ruth R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to Happy hour! Get him a little tipsy, let him pick some music on the Juke box and than see where it goes. Good luck.
2006-09-05 10:59:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be responsive, that's the only thing you can really do. He should ask you out when he's "ready"; if he doesn't - he wasn't that interested to begin with.
2006-09-05 10:23:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋