people who use aggression to control others...are they AWARE of what they are doing? do they believe it is ok?

Question

or is it "automatic", subconcious response that they have learned as a child? when they are told that their communication style is unacceptable, they act like they are unaware or it is someone else's fault?

Answer 1

sometimes you need to be aggressive because people seem to ALL have a.d.d. these days

Answer 2

i live with two brothers. each has a very short fuse and become aggresive quickly and without warning. It is something they are learning to control. an emotion that, if not kept in check, can be very damaging to others around them. It is my understanding that once they 'flip', logic and control go out the window, but they always feel bad after an outbreak.

Some people have more aggresive tendancys than others, and if not controlled from a young age, they can face big problems later on in life. But it is never to late to bring your aggresion into check, as my eldest brother (28) is proving.

Some people however, are very aware of what they are doing when they become aggressive, they like the feeling of over powering an individual and causing emotional and/or physical pain.

It is almost imposible to tell the differance between people like my brothers, and people that are just plain nasty.

Don't get me wrong, i am not making exuses for the behavour of my brothers, if they hurt someone, or upset someone they are entirely responsible. Everybody has a choice, control your aggresion or use it to your advantage, aggresion is inexusable and unnecessary. those who have a problem should face it head on and beat it, before somebody gets hurt as a result

Answer 3

These people are often unaware that they are coming across as aggressive to other people.

I used to have a job where I had an enquiry window. I dealt with all callers in what I believed to be a sympathetic manner. I treated them all as intelligent as myself until proved otherwise.

One day a client told me that I was intimidating and she ended up making me feel about two inches tall.

A male client came in and just wanted to apologise for calling me a dyke on the phone the previous day, but I just hid around the corner and cried while someone else took a message.

It is all a matter of personal perception.

Answer 4

Yeah, they are unaware.
It is/ can be learned as a child, often in an abusive home.

They don't think they are "yelling" because in their home, yelling involved hitting.

They may feel they are exibiting a great amount of control by not hitting, or throwing things. And they may feel unappreciated by you not noticing their efforts.

This sort of behavior typically can not be helped on a personal level. It needs professional help. Even a few sessions.

If you are in a relationship with a person who has this behavior, you have already got a "dynamic" with that person... they will not believe you, but a stranger's voice may have more weight in making the point.

Do not forget you do not have to accept the behavior. This level of agression cannot be reasoned with. If the other person is in a "mood" and tries to start a "fight" firmly say,

"I feel like you are trying to draw me into an argument, I'm not falling for it."

If it continues:
"I do not have to listen to you talk to me that way. I am choosing to remove myself from this situation. I may choose to talk to you again when you are calm."

Those two have made a big difference for me. The thing you have to remeber is that *You don't have to argue with crazy people*

Good Luck

Answer 5

As someone who is aggressive...I personally do it because I get my own way. This is something I need to work on as I have a lot of internalised anger.

I believe that you have to take responsibility for your own actions, but at the same time a lot of aggressive people are not aware of their behaviour.

Passive and passive/aggressive people are they aware of their behaviour though?

As a woman I feel as though when I am trying to be assertive it comes across as aggressive, yet when a man does the same he is assertive.

Answer 6

Read "MEIN KAMPF". I think it is the closest you can come to examining that kind of mind. Yes, they are aware of what they are doing, but they justify it, by believing that it will result in a greater good. Very, very scary, but maybe if we understood a little of it, we would know better than to vote for them, or help them into a position of power another way.

Even if it is a subconscious response, might there be a way to change it?

Answer 7

Of course they're aware of it, you are aware of when you're being a prick to someone but these people just get their own way when they act aggressively and so they do it, most times when you stand up to these jerks they stand with a dumb look on their faces not knowing what to do.

Answer 8

most people who do it are unaware they do it. either learned from childhood or from their own personal experience, they believe how they act is justified and is the only way to behave. pointing it out to them has little to no effect as they'll just get mad at you for pointing out this "flaw" in their character. most times they will blame it on someone early in life like their parents or teacher or whoever and use that to justify their outcome. they vaguely acknowledge their behavior but do nothing to correct it

Answer 9

Well in my case is the way im used to reacting to somethings, there are time when I dont realize the tone of my voice being offensive to others cuz in my family we talk like that...and is really difficult to change that

Answer 10

some people think they need power to be the boss and others are the boss.
but this is an issue that will keep on going till the end of time.

Answer 11

People like that have very low self esteem, probably resulting from being raised in a disfunctional family.