do I force the issue
2006-09-05 09:06:16 · 23 answers · asked by Mona 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes. Unless you plan to stay single forever. He's had his test period. Now, it's time to marry, or move on. But, don't wait for him to ask. Just ask him to marry you. Then, he either says yes, or you split up. Since you have lived together, there is no reason to follow the old tradition of having the guy ask the girl. If he says yes, simply get married. All you need to do is take the class, get the licence, and do it. What is gained by waiting? You can be married by the end of Sept. Or, single.
2006-09-05 10:31:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking about it with him, but it really all depends on where you both are at in your lives. For example, if one or both of you are in college, it might be a good idea to wait until you're done to get married. Don't force it. There isn't a time limit for dating someone before you have to marry them! If you haven't talked to him, you might want to try, just to find out if he's open to the idea at all. If you've been together this long, he should at least be able to say "If we're still happy together a few years from now, then I would want to marry you." If he's saying "I never want to get married, no matter what," then maybe your relationship can't work, because you and him have different ideas about where you think it's going. It's definitely too soon to force it. A few years from now, maybe. But not now.
2006-09-05 09:17:56 · answer #2 · answered by Heidi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First ask yourself why you want to marry. After you are sure of your reasons, talk to him. Let him know that it's something you want and why. He may be resistant and not want to marry. If that is the case you have to decide how important it is to you.
When you make an ultimatum you have to be willing to follow through. "Either we get married or it's over" is a strong statement but if he says it's over are you ready to be done with the relationship?
Take your time, it is much sweeter to be proposed to out of love and the fact that he cherishes you rather than as a result of a forced hand.
2006-09-05 09:12:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a feeling that the two of you have different expectations concerning your relationship.
Have you ever heard the expression."Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"
Your bf has what he wants and needs now, why bother getting married.
If you want marriage and he doesn't, then move on.
Don't push, but tell him that you feel it is time to make plans. And in your mind set a time for him to decide (like a week) and if he just can't make that commitment. You need a guy who wants what you do in life
2006-09-05 09:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not in your best interest to force the issue,infact forcing the issue could wind you up all alone you cannot force him to marry you if marriage is what he wants he will ask you in due time when hes ready.
2006-09-05 09:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, do not force him whatever you do not do that. You can talk to him about it, hint around to it. But the more you keep pushing and wanting it to happen the more he is going to push away from you and make you wait longer. Guys want the girls not to know when they are going to ask. So as long as he knows your expecting it he will not do it. Just be patient and wait for the time that your guy is ready. Believe me it will be worth the wiat, if he is the right guy for you.
2006-09-05 09:10:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't force the issue, but you should still put your thoughts/feelings on the table for him to know. communication is important in any relationship. perhaps you can broach the subject by asking him where he sees this relationship going. Let him speak freely. If you agree with him....be cool about it and give him a kiss! If you don't agree with it....then tell him your perspective, but don't give him an ultimatum (sp?). Good luck!
2006-09-05 09:12:00 · answer #7 · answered by Rayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him marry you if he doesn't want to. You can talk to him and let him know what your relationship goals are, but if he's "not ready", there isn't much you can do other than either leaving things as they are now - or moving on and looking for someone who's ready to have a family.
2006-09-05 09:11:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to him about it, or are you expecting him to be a mind reader and just "know"?
Moving in without even having a ring was IMHO a dumb move on your part. Why should he ask you to marry him, when he has all the convenience of a spouse without any of the messy legal bits?
2006-09-05 09:32:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't force, most likely will end up in divorce!! I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. It just takes time.Men are afraid of mariage a lot of the times.
2006-09-05 09:08:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋