have you ever had an affair? how long did it last? was it the best thing that ever happend to you? or the biggest mistake you ever made? would you have an affair with a man friend? without going into detail i have been seriously concidering having an affair with a good friend of mine tell me your stories if you would please
2006-09-05 08:42:38 · 11 answers · asked by vtpatbrat 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, I'm currently cheating on my husband, and it is not wonderful. When he visits me we make love, but when he goes alls I feel is guilt. We talk every evening on the phone, and I have to hide from my 5 year old who I'm talking to, and lie to her. In fact, I have to lie to everyone, and have not been able to tell a single person or even give a clue of what I've been doing. So many times I want to ask for help or advice but I can't bring my self to tell, because I am ashamed. The only person I can go to is the one I'm cheating with, and he tells me all the reasons why it's right I should cheat. Recently, I was almost caught, my husband came home one night early (he works 3rds). I had to hide my lover in the basement and then sneak him out while my husband was using the bathroom. That was the worst and scariest moments of my life, getting caught, destroying my family, my marriage. And I should of ended things right then, but I haven't cause I of course have strong feelings for this man and my husband. I've tried to stop it many times, but always ended up missing him and calling. Cheating makes you an emotional basketcase, and once again I want to make an attempt to end it, will this time be the last. Can I bear not to ever talk to this man, when I feel so strongly? Should I just tell my husband? Should I end my marriage and destroy my family, upset my little girl? Will I be able to live without my husband because I love him too? What will everyone think of me? I agonize over these questions. Please, think before you do this, and ask yourself those questions too, Can you live with it?
2006-09-05 11:01:52 · answer #1 · answered by Needstoknow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I made a very poor choice in letting innocent flirting go too far. Nothing happened sexually, just a kiss, but I’m married therefore none of that should have even happened to begin with. My reasons for letting it go further are pretty stupid. Because this other man filled a void that my husband did not. On an emotional level. Again, it doesn’t make a difference what the reason was because it shouldn’t have happened anyways. My husband IS a good man. He takes care of me for the most part, we have a beautiful son together and I have “inherited” a very sweet stepdaughter. But lately my husband has been making very selfish decision and leaving me home alone and I suppose that’s what pushed me to this other man. All in all, it was still my choice and I still made the wrong choice, but it happened. I never told my husband because I don’t know how he’ll react. If it had gone further than a kiss, I’d feel obligated to tell him. In my family, nobody cheats. It’s unheard of. You stand by your spouse, you take care of your spouse and he to you, cheating just doesn’t happen in our families. So this is very embarrassing for me, I’m pretty ashamed of it, and my guilt gets the best of me quite often. I talked to a close friend about it and that was it. I got it out of my system and told a person. And from this point forward, I will not put myself in a situation like that ever again. I will not ever allow things to happen in the event I am in a situation like that again. Because if I was to turn the tables and this was happening to me, I’d be crushed. So I try to know that my husband would be also and it reminds me day after day why I’m with a good man and why this is where I belong. I’ve basically made peace with it and I’m not looking back. And I’m just trying to be the best wife and mother I can be. But the guilt of what happened, will never go away. At least not for me.
2016-03-26 23:15:48 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. I had an affair with my best friend in the whole world and subsequently lost the one person in the world that saw all the beautiful little things about the world just the same way that I did. It lasted about 8 months and was one of the happiest times in my whole life, but when I was found out, I was so disgusted with myself I tried to commit suicide. I had been living in a lovely dream and woke up to a nightmare. My parents took my husband's side and turned their backs on me and my whole world turned upside down. I was so happy and productive mentally and physically when I was having the affair, but I was oblivious to the damage I was doing to those I loved best. I was deeply fortunate in that my husband and I ended up working it out and admitting where we both went wrong. It was a long and difficult process and I tried to commit suicide a second time when I discovered that my friend had fallen deeply in love with another woman only three months after I left town, even though he had proposed to me a few months before. He had clearly not the fortitude and love for me that would have lasted a lifetime of marriage and I am so grateful for this second chance with my husband. It was deeply painful to realize that someone who had meant so much to me for so many years, someone I'd have done anything for, that he'd never even been my friend and he must have been lying to me to get what he wanted. I've been left feeling dirty, disgusting and like the biggest fool in the world. It is often hard for me not to hate myself. I don't know what I was thinking. All I know is that I had felt invisible and under a lot of pressure for a long time and I turned to someone that I trusted who betrayed me. And I betrayed myself in the process. Talk to your husband. Be visible. Be strong. And keep your friend. Is it really worth it to you to lose both, not to mention yourself? Is it exciting, thrilling, does it make you feel sexy and wanted? I won't lie to you. Yes. Is it worth it? No. Though I am a more grateful person, I have a hard time ever feeling joy anymore. Please don't do this to yourself.
2006-09-05 09:50:06 · answer #3 · answered by Ophelia 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget the affair! The thought of it, the sense of it, the thrill of it, the excitment of it, the need for it, the desire to have it, the want for it....is so much better than the real thing could ever be. Anticipation and desire for something you want but can't have is far more satisfying in your mind than it is in reality and no one gets hurt in your fantasy!
2006-09-05 09:01:29 · answer #4 · answered by Cashmere621 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a good idea. Somebody will get hurt. If you are with somebody and not happy, tell them, leave them and then do what you have to do. How would you feel if your man was cheating behind your back. Wouldn't you want him to have enough respect for you to tell you that he was not happy. And if this man that you want to cheat with, has a girlfriend, what if she finds out. Now your hurting your man, this woman and yourself. If you get caught, your man probably wont want you back.
2006-09-05 08:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by jam_psb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. It takes a selfish, weak and ignorant woman to give into an affair.
2006-09-05 09:00:39 · answer #6 · answered by ArbonneAdvertising 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have never cheated on anyone in my life especially not my husband I love my husband very much I could never stoop that low to cheat cheaters are no good
2006-09-05 08:57:40 · answer #7 · answered by blondeqtwitanicebooty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No and if you feel the need I suggest you get divorced
And not cause alot of people the pain you will put them thru
2006-09-05 08:46:33 · answer #8 · answered by daack7 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and it was a great thing that I really enjoyed. No regrets.
2015-04-09 17:27:30 · answer #9 · answered by Marie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't do it from someone who knows both sides.
2006-09-05 08:46:57 · answer #10 · answered by mawma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋