With a divorce rate around 50%, it is easy to see that couples do not take the normal “‘til death do us part” vow anymore; instead, it seems to be “’til divorce do us part”. With every upcoming year, divorce rates are predicted to increase, supporting the fact that marriage is not as important as it used to be. Marriage is often viewed in today’s society as a one day celebration, where you say a few words and get a ring, and then you have the rest of the night to party and eat cake. Too often, you will see couples who overlook the fact that there are many other aspects in marriage that are more important than the actual wedding, such as trust, communication and respect. These factors, plus many others, combine to create wonderful marriages which are necessary to the well-being of a society. Without these proper and successful marriages, the next generation will have no examples to look up to, and it will become harder for them to develop and keep relationships.
any grammar mistakes?
2006-09-05 08:34:19 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Teaching
Grammar looks good, Princess!
I just have a few suggestions, so I am rewriting to include my suggestions, and I will include your regular text in parentheses after my suggestions:
With the (a) divorce rate around 50%, it is easy to see that couples do not take the normal " 'til death do us part" vow anymore; instead, it seems to be " 'til divorce do us part". In coming years, (With every upcoming year) divorce rates are predicted to increase, supporting the fact that marriage is not as important as it used to be. Marriage is often viewed in today's society as a one day celebration (no comma) where you say a few words and get a ring, and then (no "you") have the rest of the night to party and eat cake. Too often, you (no "will") see couples who overlook the fact that there are many other aspects in marriage that are more important than the actual wedding, such as trust, communication and respect. These factors, plus many others, combine to create wonderful marriages, (you had no comma--this one really depends on which part of the sentence you are emphasizing) which are necessary to the well-being of (no "a") society. Without these more traditional ("proper" implies a negative judgement--appropriate if that is what you want to do, but you should generally strive to not be biased) and successful marriages, the next generation will have no examples to follow (look up to--removes a dangler, which technically takes place at the end of a sentence, but you can also get tagged for it if it is at the end of a clause--just depends on who is looking at and grading your writing), and it will become harder for them to develop and keep relationships.
Those changes are, of course, merely my opinions. In a few places, notably the sentence describing current weddings, there was simply too much repetition of the word "you", which can become a distraction. Also, I changed commas in a few places, as I wasn't sure if the structure, as written, was emphasizing what you wanted to emphasize (this is, naturally, a matter of opinion, and you will know best). It is a little confusing, and I apologize for that, as there were several places where I removed words, and realized there was no way to note my removal, other than placing a note in parentheses after the removal :) So, I am sorry if it looks kind of jumbled to you. Of all my changes, which are really suggestions, the only one I feel VERY strongly about is the use of the word "proper", for which I have substituted "more traditional". It depends on what you are writing this for, really. "Proper" in this case implies a value judgement on your part, and generally, that is frowned upon. Also, "proper" can be taken several ways, as it has more than one usage, so it can confuse your meaning. For those reasons, I would avoid it, but the choice is entirely yours. And naturally, you are entitled to ignore everything I have written, or only use the parts you agree with :)
2006-09-05 09:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by Bronwen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depends. If someone says a grammatically incorrect statement then I have to correct them or else it'll annoy me for the rest of the day, if it's online then I mostly ignore it but if it's in someone else's writing then I have to correct their grammar. Also you forgot to put a comma after "do" & a full stop after "world". Just thought I'll put that out there ^_^'
2016-03-17 08:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generation is a singular noun, you shouldn't use "them" as a pronoun to refer to it.
Also, I think the period goes inside the quotation marks at the end of a sentence, though I'm not 100% sure on that.
"Which are necessary" should be "that are necessary" unless you add a comma, I believe.
Some people would say you shouldn't say "look up to" because you're ending a phrase in a preposition.
I also think it should be "with *each* upcoming year," not *every*.
I would also say "one-day celebration" rather than "one day celebration."
Those are my thoughts.
2006-09-05 08:43:57 · answer #3 · answered by Denials 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, no actual mistakes; the grammar looks good.
I would suggest a few changes.
FIRST SENTENCE: I would change it to "With the divorce rate around 50%." If you use "a" it would read better to write, "with a divorce rate of around 50%).
FIFTH SENTENCE: "....which are necessary to the well-being of a society" I would change to "...which are necessary to the well-being of society.
I assume you are talking about one specific place, such as the U.S. If so, that it why it is more "active" in tone to use "with THE divorce rate," (in the first sentence) and "of society" or even "of our society" (in the fifth sentence).
There are a few ways in which you could improve punctuation, but nothing that will distract people.
Very well written. Hope you get a great grade on it.
2006-09-05 08:47:13 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are trying to lose your readers you could improve your style. Even though using semicolons is not really an error it is a bad choice for format. Try to make each sentence a single thought without all the ifs ands and buts of explanation in it. Put the details in a following sentence.
Keep it simpler and you can get the ideas across without confusing everyone.
2006-09-05 08:39:34 · answer #5 · answered by Rich Z 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Shouldn't it be "til death do WE part"? i'm not really sure. there shouldn't be a comma here: too often, you will see.... i think it should be: too often you will see... i might be wrong. i like what you wrote though. it's very very true!
2006-09-05 08:46:51 · answer #6 · answered by ragazza.chica.kella 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
looks good to me
2006-09-05 08:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The period should definitely be inside the quotes.
2006-09-05 08:47:22 · answer #8 · answered by zia269 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋