Ive been in a very rough relationship with my boyfriend. We have lost a baby already due to complications and have dealt with an annoying ex of his that is still in love with him.
From previous questions you may find that he was helping his ex when she got in a car accident, during which she told everyone that she was pregnant with his kid, so we broke it off and he said he'd marry her. Come to find out that the tramp was lying the whole time. Now during which I found out that I am pregant again. However because our history is so shakey and drama filled he gave me two choices. One is that I keep the baby, but he'll never be in my life as anything more than my baby's dad. Or two: I don't have the baby, and we start again fresh and clean... he has even offered counseling if we need it.
He and I both want to get over the whole... Ex thing and make it work. But now its up to me.
Should I say him, and wait for the whole kid thing after we get better or do I pick the baby.
2006-09-05 08:10:14 · 25 answers · asked by keep your head up 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I want the baby, but I wouldnt be able to provide enough like i would want my kids to be raised, by myself.
2006-09-05 08:11:45 · update #1
you have to decide what you really want in your life---and i think you know that....clear your head and realize that in the long run no matter who gives you what advice--you are the one that has to live with that decision for the rest of your life------your boyfriend sounds like he sometimes might not want to be around or else hes still thinking of his ex-, like i said, you have to decide what you are willing to sacrifice and what your not---for this person.
be strong , men often take the love we have for them as a weakness/ instead use it to empower yourself---you are stronger then you realize right now
2006-09-05 08:16:02 · answer #1 · answered by darkangel1111 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend was willing to make a go of things then he would be accepting you and his child as a package. It is not fair for any woman to be put in a position to choose. I don't think this guy is worth your time he is obviously very immature and only thinking of himself. There are a lot of psychological issues as well as the physical issues that can affect you after an abortion. If I were you I'd be giving him the ultimatum You and the Baby or neither. Don't let this lowlife walk all over you...be strong, and confident he isn't the only fish in the sea there are plenty of real men who date women who have children from previous relationships...you have a right to be happy and if you stay with this guy you will only continue to be hurt.
2006-09-05 15:22:00 · answer #2 · answered by gypsywife2b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't have the baby. It would make it impossible for you to get a fresh start in life, and from what's happened, you really deserve the chance to make a good and happy life for yourself and put this mess behind you. You will never be able to do any of that with a baby.
2006-09-05 15:35:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on...it's a no-brainer! Stop letting this control-freak control your life. Tell him you're keeping the baby, and he damn well better be a responsible father or you will call the law! If he enjoyed the fun of making the baby, he should also assume the responsibility of helping to raise it.
Now on to another equation of your dilema: your boyfriend's ex is characterized as a "tramp" - but what exactly does that make you? Apparently you see no need to "make it legal" before you, too, enjoyed the fun of making the baby. So I don't think that makes you much better than his ex.
My advice: have the baby. Take your time. Meet a nice guy that respects you, loves you unconditionally, and isn't looking to enjoy the fun of making a baby without accepting the consequences. -RKO-
2006-09-05 15:18:18 · answer #4 · answered by -RKO- 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Would you really want to be with him after he made you terminate your pregnancy? I sure wouldn't, talk about adding more garbage to your relationship, could you really forgive him for making you kill your child? If you want to keep the baby, you should. If you have an abortion it could make it hard for you to get pregnant again especially since you have already lost a baby to complications. This could be your last chance to be a mother. If you want to keep the baby and keep his relationship, you should let him know. Otherwise maybe you should consider being a single mother.
2006-09-05 15:35:58 · answer #5 · answered by hello 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He was willing to marry her because she was allegedly pregnant with his child, but he won't have anything to do with you if you keep the baby?
Do NOT put up with this ultimatum. If you want the baby then keep the baby and dump him. If he's making you choose then he doesn't love you anyway. The man will walk, the child will love you unconditionally for the rest of your life.
My advice is seek councilling before you make your choice and whatever your choice is make sure it's because it is what YOU want and what is best for YOU and the BABY not because he gave you this "choice".
2006-09-05 15:29:59 · answer #6 · answered by Troubled 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why would he rush off to marry his ex who was pregnant and tell you that you need to decide between your child or him? Something's not adding up. I am never for terminating the life of an innocent child. There are adoptions.... a family will even pay your expenses if you'll let them adopt the child.... If you want to do what's right for your child.... let someone else who will love him/her unconditionally raise him/her... he's not sounding like a true prince charming... perhaps you should evaluate the situation further....
2006-09-05 15:18:15 · answer #7 · answered by rachael 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your situation seems very unfortunate. First, run from this guy-that relationship is not going to offer you a lifetime of happiness and you are young, it seems. Too young to be stuck with someone with all that drama. Second, if you cannot provide for a child, why are you having sex? I'm sorry, but it's not my responsibility as a taxpayer to support your poor choices. I wish you the best. Have the child, file for support from this guy, and start your life fresh with someone new.
2006-09-05 15:15:42 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
the baby is not a choice and not a decision it is a life just as you were when you were very little and in your mummy's tummy no matter what keep the baby until it's borned then if you don't want it give it up for adoption too many babies die because of choices like this i reccomend you reading the poem i wrot on this below
2006-09-05 15:14:58 · answer #9 · answered by purrplepuddding 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you let the baby out, he is telling you to start fresh and clean???
Would your relation with him have any future?
Will you both be forever couples without marriage, without babies, with interruptions of his ex?
Are you going to make abortion when you get pregnant for the 3rd time?
My opinion, if you want the baby, and you can take care of it, keep it, as I see no future with your BF.
If you are not able to take care of your baby alone, and I doubt that your BF will take care of him, then let it out, but also, kick your BF out of your life.
2006-09-05 15:26:37 · answer #10 · answered by Totti Frotti 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋