An ex, one of whom I have never really gotten over, has come back into my life. He has changed so much and is still deeply in love with me after 5 years of not speaking. After apologizing and admitting this to me, I couldn't help but cry. We were very much in love and got along perfectly, but he had issues that he had to deal with so I broke up with him. I still have feeling for him but I am now married. Before this even happened I was trying to define my marriage and determine how happy I truely am. I guess I have issues of my own now, what do I do?
2006-09-05 08:09:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I suggest you take a VERY good look at just why exactly you married the guy that you are with now; I'm sure he loves you just as much, minus "the issues." How do you know when you do not want to be married anymore? Good question - it's one of those things in life where you really have to ask yourself that question; only you can decide that for yourself.
2006-09-05 08:13:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter who you marry there will be SO many times throughout your marriage when that will swim through your head. The key is to communicate. Always communicate with your husband, in a loving way. Try your best to get through the temptation of giving up and work on the trouble area's. You'll be so glad you did, because your marriage will actually grow stronger, and you will fall more and more in love. A marriage is a committment, and love is a choice. Learn to not take that lightly and you'll be able to withstand all of the other "potentials" that will come your way. Focus in on your husband right now, because chances are you're looking for even more reasons to not be satisfied with him. If you give into this mentality, no man will ever be good enough for you, and you don't deserve that. Good luck to you, and your husband.
2006-09-05 15:31:48 · answer #2 · answered by ArbonneAdvertising 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the ex! You need to work on your issues. There's a reason why you guys broke up, I know it might seem like things have "changed", but it's easy to "love" someone who's far away and with whos c**p you don't have to deal every day. If you're unhappy in your marriage - think about getting counseling or getting out. IMO, using the past failed relationship as a crutch for your insecurities is a big mistake that will blow up in your face.
2006-09-05 15:37:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love your husband and no longer want to honor your commitment to him,then you should bring him up to speed about how you are feeling and tell him what you are going to do about it.I personally don't believe in going backwards,I perfer to move forward. One thing you should think about is the fact that time and experiences changes people and that ohter guy is NOT the same person you fell in love with before.He has changed,you just can't see how just yet.Work on resolving your marital issues first,if it comes to divorce then so be it.If the other guy really loves you he will be there when you are done working out you issues.Just be sure not to make any decisions based on him.A bird in the hand beats two in the bush.
2006-09-05 15:40:44 · answer #4 · answered by girlqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If deep in your heart and your guts that if you were to divorce your current husband and marry your ex and you and your ex would truly be in love forever and never has issues about it then go for it. In life I do believe that there is just one for you. I don't know how old you are but in life what I have figured out is that in life I want to be happy. And life is to short to wonder about the what "ifs" You have to look deep into your heart and soul. You have to feel it in your gut. Make sure you are making the right choice for you and you only. Every body has issues. We all just have to deal with it.
2006-09-05 15:19:50 · answer #5 · answered by iseestupidpeopleeverywhere 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and deal with each issue separately. Think about your marriage first. Think in terms of being on your own if it ended... could you cope? do you want to be without him? If you decide you want to stay with our husband try to forget about your ex.
If you decide to leave, don't just rush straight back to your ex. take some time getting to know him again.
2006-09-05 15:16:43 · answer #6 · answered by ragdoll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a divorced woman myself, I would strongly recommend that you NOT stay in contact with the old love, and if necessary -- SEPARATE FROM any considerations of the old love -- evaluate the viability of your marriage. DO NOT decide with the old love as a factor in that -- decide and act on the marriage first, and do NOT get back with the first one until you're well under way in leaving your husb., if you decide to.
2006-09-05 15:22:17 · answer #7 · answered by catintrepid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might just be confused and astonished about his changes, he waited 5 years to come back to you? Do you really think his changed? Do you think he has changed for reals? be careful, take care of your marriage and try no to talk to him or see him anymore.
If he already knows you are married, and yet he is coming up to you, he is being selfish, he is only thinking about himself, not the problems he could get you into. Reason please, a marriage is a thing of God, and it should be respected.
2006-09-05 15:16:56 · answer #8 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. If you were already doubting your marriage then I think you should see a councilor. Take your time, and be sure you find out what's truly making you unhappy before you act.
2006-09-05 15:43:59 · answer #9 · answered by Q~T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up your marriage for anyone else, it will only give you heartache as well as your children, if you have any, and your family as well as those of your husbands. Remember your wedding vows. Don't hurt those you love the most. Get counceling with your husband.
2006-09-05 15:15:46 · answer #10 · answered by gramawriter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋