My boyfriend and I got in a small argument this weekend. When we were speaking he said some hurtful things. I hate how when he's angry he will say mean things just to spite me. Why do guys do that? Or why is it when it's their fault, they turn the tables around and make us feel guilty about it? Men...sometimes they just aggitate me. I hate double standards!!!
2006-09-05 07:40:43 · 18 answers · asked by Ro Ro 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I haven't had my guy say hurtful things, BUT he has tried to turn the tables around to make me feel guilty. I think it stems from them not knowing how to handle their emotions. It's so much easier for them to make us feel guilty so we end the arguement rather than take resposibility... understand our emotions, etc........
When he's doing this... saying hurtful things... remind him that it's a shame he feels that way because you still love him... That should open his eyes to what he's saying.... LOL... and they aggitate me too! But... if we didn't have men, what could we possibly complain about, right?
2006-09-05 07:46:10 · answer #1 · answered by rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first let me start off by saying that I dont only think it is a man thing, many women play the cards the same way..... Alot of times, when people get angry wethere male or female, they can say some very hurtful things, and though it is not right for them to say these things, it is just a spure of the moment thing, but I have always said that sometimes mental-Verbal abuse is worse than physical.... Words stick with people forever, and things you say, though in the heat of the moment you dont mean, these things are always remembered.... And when something is there fault, they try to trun the tables around so that you look like the bad guy, because maybe they are guilty....... good luck and god bless
2006-09-05 07:48:14 · answer #2 · answered by Kimmy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for starters, I really wish I knew how old this guy is. If you are talking about a younger guy, say a teenager or something, I think it is just due to immaturity. He probably thinks this is an effective way to get ur attention and piss u off pretty well too. (seems like it worked). But if we are talking about a grown man talking to you like your a piece of SHi* then u have a problem. I'm of the opinion that grown men ought to have learned in their 20 plus years that saying hurtful things is not an effective means of communication with another adult, regardless of if he is angry, drunk, stupid, or whatever. Regardless of his age, don;t put up with some guy treating you badly. If this is a serious relationship and you actually care about this guy, call him on it. Let him know that you are not going to be treated like that. Some guys need an actual lesson in how to talk like an adult. Good luck=)
2006-09-05 07:51:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like women don't do that! What kind of world are you living in. This isn't a man versus woman issue, this is about how some people really throw the gloves off when there mad and let go and do whatever it takes to be mean while other people have more control. This is completely about personality and self control.
2006-09-05 07:45:12 · answer #4 · answered by Poppies_rule 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you're going through. My husband does the same thing, but he usually realizes he could have handled things better and apologizes. Men have a harder time getting in touch with their feelings, therefore, they can't get in touch with other's feelings, usually. I bet he doesn't do it all of the time, right? It's their gut reaction to hit below the belt. He doesn't mean it and he will regret it and let you know in ways that are ultimately sweet, ironically. Men are men.
2006-09-05 07:55:58 · answer #5 · answered by brandiwhine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ro Ro, It's a sign of immaturity and it will not chage, so if you are serious about him, just remember he will be like this as long as you are together. Look for someone better, someone that really appreciates you and demand the best. Never settle for anything less, your worth it and you need to tell yourself this every morning when you look in the mirror. Communication is the key to the best relationships and he soes not sound like a good commuicator. Good luck to ya!!! GaryT
2006-09-05 07:49:54 · answer #6 · answered by gary t 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Because they don't want to admit they are wrong, they say things because they know it will get to us. Words always hurt more than physical pain because they leave emotional scars.
2006-09-05 07:44:39 · answer #7 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turning the tables is a defense mechanism..for men OR women.
And shame on you, for allowing someone to say hurtful things to you and stand for it. You should have B I T C H slapped him the first time he did it. He never would have done it again.
2006-09-05 07:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It isn't all men, just some men. Talk to your boyfriend about this. You don't deserve somebody like that!
2006-09-05 07:48:05 · answer #9 · answered by Bookgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband does it too! They think they are the only ones who are right all the time. When it comes to them saying mean and hurtful things it is because they are insecure of themselves. We can are always wrong and it is because we are supposed to be the weaker sex!
2006-09-05 07:53:23 · answer #10 · answered by kolowski4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋