I'm married for 2 1/2 yrs. I guess I kinda rushed the marriage. The person who told me insisted I not say anything, but just told me to watch my back. I'm worried because she has said lately that maybe we should just find our own places with our own kids and just see each other 'till the kids move out, we have alot of issues over children. I'm starting to think about recording her phone calls to see if she really did say this.
Help
2006-09-05 06:33:14 · 30 answers · asked by movmaker06 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that you should talk to her and tell her that you have been feeling a different vibe from her lately and that you want to talk. This is a sad revelation and I could totally understand how you feel. But dont confront her because you are not sure if she truly said this and also you dont want to jeopardize the trust that your friend has invested in you. I think that you should truly sit down and talk to her and tell her your feelings and ask her what is the next step.
I dont think that it is wise for you to record her phone calls or to follow her, this is only going to hurt you if you were to find something out. Just talk to her, I mean she is your wife and you should be able to communicate with her. Good luck
2006-09-05 06:39:27 · answer #1 · answered by gm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That all really depends on your take on the situation. Are you wanting to reconcile with her, or are you also ready to throw in the towel? By the little bit of information you gave, it does sound as if she is done with the marriage, and it could very well be that she has her sights set on finding someone new, but don't let that comment by yur friend be the deciding factor. If you want to save the marriage, try. You could suggest counseling, if not marriage counseling, then individual, or maybe just come right out and ask her. I wouldn't sneak around her back trying to catch her just yet, not unless you have more than one comment from a friend. Either way, best of luck!
2006-09-05 14:02:11 · answer #2 · answered by Lemme tell ya... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, how serious do you take the sanctity of marriage. I guess not too serious, because sounds like you two have been married before.
Looks like you need to take a very good look at your life and reflect on what God intended for us. A marriage is sacred vow that should not be broken unless one of the partners commits adultery and the partner who commits adultery must not re-marry.
Read Matthew Chapter 19, I think it will enlighten you. After having done this, if you want to do the right thing then you should confront your wife before she starts dating other people and perhaps you two could work it out and continue to live as God intended.
2006-09-05 14:21:35 · answer #3 · answered by Iaminit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am not sure I would record phone calls...yea or nea, it sounds as if neither of you are happy. Somewhere along the line, a divorce is going to cost someone some money...that is for sure. Are you prepared for that? Do you care if she plays around? Does she care if you do? Perhaps it is time to both sit down and lay your cards on the table...How about approaching this as adults instead of high schoolers (my friend says...). And I certainly wouldn't "Confront her." .... bad idea, confrontation only brings out the worst in people. Discussion brings out the best, and that is what you both need at this time, isn't It? You may or may not find common ground to build on, but you ARE married, and that means you don't throw in the towel if it can be fixed...find out, we cannot give you any advice as to what to do. You both need to decide on the best path for ALL concerned, including the children. Good luck
2006-09-05 13:49:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By her suggesting that you both find your own places to live is a good sign she is ready to move on. Why don't you guys spend a quiet evening together (with out the kids) and talk about what it is that she really wants. It is unfair to you to stay in a marriage wondering what your wife's next move will be. She should be flat out honest with you and tell you the truth. That way you both can go you separate ways and raise your children how you want to.
2006-09-05 13:40:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she told you that wants to move out of the house with her own "husband", then you should definitely be scared of this woman. You've only been married for 2 years and she already wants out. Every family has their problems--issues over your children is something that can easily be worked out among the two of you. You dont have to record her calls....if she wants to have her own place, then she wants to do her own thing! Read between the lines. Talk about it with her...its the only way to figure things out!
2006-09-05 13:38:51 · answer #6 · answered by Kia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id have a talk with her. Shes obviously doing and saying things behind your back. You may want to think about divorce if she continues to be like that. Its only been 2 1/2 yrs. So, theres not alot of time invested into it.
2006-09-05 13:36:18 · answer #7 · answered by ~~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should confront her... Without a doubt confront her! You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. Get some self-respect, confront her and tell you want a divorce. Whether or not she actually does date other people or not is irrelevant. The mere fact that she wishes to date other people should be enough. If I heard my wife say she wanted to date other people our marriage would be over. If in her mind she is thinking about other people, as far as I am concerned she has committed adultery.
2006-09-05 13:57:07 · answer #8 · answered by absolutely_fabulous_78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to talk to her. It is not fair to you how she is talking to other people about the condition of your marriage. If she wants to see other people, she comes to you first, not the rest of the town. There is a good chance that she has told other people, not just the one that came to you about it. Explain to your friend that you appreciate the information, but it is impossible not to confront your wife about it. Good Luck......
Nobody deserves what you are going through, you might want to draw up divorce papers- I know it's painful. Neither of you are happy, so what is the point of dragging it out even longer than necessary.
2006-09-05 14:15:52 · answer #9 · answered by Dre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come right out and ask her!!! This is a marriage we are talking about. If she denies it, there isn't much you can say. But I think by the other things she has said....ie get your own place...you can pretty much figure that she wants to move on. Don't stoop to her level and record stuff. Sounds like a divorce to me.
2006-09-05 13:41:42 · answer #10 · answered by silver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋