i can't take it anymore. I don't know if it's just me not being able to deal with this but my fiances family wants to spend every waking minute together. This is not a recent engagement. We still dont live together and do not have a lot of free time to spend with eachother. They have not helped at all with the wedding plans and act like they dont even care about it. I work overtime on the weekends to pay for the wedding by myself and still they try to hog up every free second me and my fiance have together and he gets mad at me when I say I cant/don't want to go. Is this normal of inlaws? or are these people just the most annoying people in the entire world? p.s. they dont even live in the state they live 2 1/2 hours away to top it off!!!!
2006-09-05 06:25:25 · 14 answers · asked by Jersey Style 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh did I mention that we have to drive the 2 1/2 hours as well.
2006-09-05 06:46:55 · update #1
LOL, yes my fiance is a HE! he is also 1 of three other kids in the family and he's 38!
2006-09-05 07:01:18 · update #2
Not all in laws are a pain in the butt, but a lot of them are. Sounds to me like they are having a hard time letting their son go......lol
Your fiance should be more sensitive to your needs and explain to his parents the situation of yall not having much free time together and that yall need time alone.
He can spend all the time he wants with them when you are having to work or whatever but when you are off work and free to spend time with him that they need to stay home.
I think I would be asking soon to be hubby if this is going to be the case after yall get married to. Are they going to be at your door step every time you turn around. If so then you may have a problem on your hands, and you may want to rethink things.
Better to confront the issue now before the wedding.
Sit your fiance down and have a heart to heart talk with him and tell him exactly how you are feeling.
Communication is a must in any relationship, and so is compromise.
Better get started on it now.
2006-09-05 12:52:27 · answer #1 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seems like your in-laws are having a hard time seperating from their son. In other words, they just can't let go yet! You guys are'nt even married yet and this is a problem already. Seems like you and your "future" husband need to have a heart to heart talk about this issue before going further along. A compromise will have to be reached now before this starts affecting your mental stability. You know, one weekend just you and him, another weekend with the in-laws, or something like that. Hopefully this will prevent the continuous build up of bad feelings on your part which will lead up to some serious animosity later, especially if you should decide to have children. With kids, they'll want to be more involved. Best luck on this.
2006-09-05 06:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to have a talk withyour fiance and tell him sometimes you both need time together without interruptions, family or friends. Alone time to spend quality time .. in addition I would set the ground rules now that even in marriage that this isn't something that can always continue .. remember if its this way now - how will it be in the future. You both need to communicate about this and find a resolution. Good luck and congrats on getting married.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-05 06:29:39 · answer #3 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to your fiance about it. Is there any way that you could make some time to be together? You don't have to let the inlaws-to-be know about it.
He (I'm assuming your fiance is a he) might be spending more time with them because you can't be with him.
2006-09-05 06:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by Black~Rose777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your fiance that you want some time alone with him on occasion. He should understand that you 2 are planning a wedding and need alone time.
Tell him that you don't mind spending time with his family, but you don't feel the need to be with them constantly.
Also, dig a little deeper on this wedding fund and planning situation. They should help, atleast a little.
2006-09-05 06:35:43 · answer #5 · answered by nowimrelaxedicantbesure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I came from a family that wasn't close at all..But now my son and his girl friend spend lots of time with us because we make it enjoyable. Maybe the reason you don't want to be with them is because your not having fun..if so tell your boyfriend and his family that because of your work schedule and planning the wedding , maybe once a month would be better for you right now.
2006-09-05 06:38:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice they want to spend time with you. However, it should reasonable.
Perhaps you could discuss this with your fiance. Don't argue. Discuss it. Tell him what you are willing to do in terms of the time together, but that you also need time to yourselves.
Fix it now, because it won't get any better once you're married.
2006-09-05 07:09:33 · answer #7 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG. I completely understand what you are going through. My in-laws are the same way.
You just have to set the tone NOW, not after you are married. Let them, and your soon-to-be-hubby know what you need your "couple" time. You and your fiance are your own family, and they need to start accepting that. Trust me, I am not saying shut them out all together. But let them know that you can't be at everything. They need to realize it's not just him anymore, it's both of you.
Good luck.
2006-09-05 06:51:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be well mannered yet agency and tell her if she doesnt end harrassing then you definitely you extremely'll take out a restraining order...and also you want to be prepared to finish that! the actually decision to it really is to pass a ways, a ways away!
2016-12-06 11:11:11 · answer #9 · answered by handu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i just have mother-in-law, and i think it should be a crime NOT to murder her... she always wants money, she fakes illnesses, doesn't pay any of her bills, then acts like it's my BF fault... i HATE her... i wished she lived 2 hours away... I feel your pain, when your BF don't stand up to them about this madness.. don't marry him until you and him figure how to deal w/ this, or you won't be happy
2006-09-05 06:34:51 · answer #10 · answered by nuenue 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋