because I told this particular relative to leave her drama at home, because she was mad at her boyfriend and started snapping at my boyfriend; she said in front of my boyfriend and other relatives that I was spying on my boyfriend by riding by his ex's to see if he was there during one of our breakups. She doesn't seem to understand why i want to distance myself and I no longer trust her. I thought we were really close and I have trusted her with alot of confidential info re me and my boyfriend. By the way, she threw a temper tantrum at my house. My boyfriend wasn't mad at me he just looked shocked that I would do such a thing.
2006-09-05 06:22:38 · 19 answers · asked by stella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Anger is immature no matter how you look at it and for whatever reason.... it's natural to experience it and react to it when someone has done us wrong, but to hang onto it is self destructive... voice your feelings in a positive manner with this particular relative who has upset you, and make them aware of the fact that since they violated your trust you willl no longer be sharing your life with them and then move on past it and forget about it!
2006-09-05 06:26:49 · answer #1 · answered by someone s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you didn't act irrational, there is never a moment when she should have told anything that you in trusted her to know! I would have been upset but from here on out I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her! Second, I would have reacted very indifferent (probably physically)! Don't allow her to change you though hell if you feel inclined to ride pass his ex's house or whatever you do so, hell I would do the same except my fiances ex knows I am missing a few marbles so if and when she drops their children she keeps it inconspicuous and let the cousin know she may be getting a drive by (beat down) one day!!!!!!!!!!!!1
2006-09-05 06:33:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not immautre to be mad about this, but there is a mature way to be mad at a person - that's what you should be striving to do. Your feelings don't need to be validated, it is how you express them that does. My suggestion is that the next time you are alone with her, you share with her that you felt hurt and betrayed when she shared that information the way that she did and that it makes you reluctant to share personal information with her again. If she truly values your relationship, then she will apologize and (maybe) learn a valuable lesson about keeping confidences.
2006-09-05 06:27:48 · answer #3 · answered by zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you have every right to be upset. When you confide in someone you expect them to keep their mouth shut! If someone wants to tell me a secret I always let them know I don't keep things from my hubby. But I would never say something in front of others. You are right to be distrustful of her, and I would NOT share personal info with her again. If she doesn't understand why you are so upset send her to this yahoo page. I am sure she will get it then! I would also let your b/f know that , it was a one time thing and you have grown past that sort of thing.
2006-09-05 06:28:25 · answer #4 · answered by silver 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not immature. You should be mad. The relative is the one who is immature.
However let things cool down. You can still be close but I would be careful what I said to her about any personal business in your life.
2006-09-05 06:25:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here is what I have found out. If you do not want someone to know you did something....then you can not tell anyone. Your relative is being immature for trying to get you in trouble with your bf, just because she is mad at hers. Misery loves company.
2006-09-05 06:26:34 · answer #6 · answered by hello 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's messed up of you that you can't trust your boyfriend (unless he has given you a reason no to trust him). So, I can understand why he would be shocked.
To answer your question. I don't think you're acting immature. You have a right to be upset and just remember to not ever share anything with her again.
2006-09-05 06:26:13 · answer #7 · answered by Private Account 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone betrays a confidence you have a right to be upset. But if it's a close family member you shouldn't hold a grudge. Talk it out.
2006-09-05 06:25:10 · answer #8 · answered by Tender Hearted 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In no way have you acted immaturely. You trusted her and she betrayed your confidence. Well done for being assertive and standing up to her! If anything, she acted immaturely. I hope you can make it up, but after betraying your trust like that she owes you bigtime! take care x
2006-09-05 06:24:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being immature. Your relative is very immature and very mean-spirited to do what she did. What a trouble causing little witch she is. She is psycho. Yes distance yourself from her.
2006-09-05 06:25:07 · answer #10 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋