Should older siblings be invited to the birth?

Question

My son is 9 and daughter is 8 and they both would like to attend the birth of my new baby. I am in the first trimester so i have a long ways to go and prepare them for what they will see. Do you all believe this could be terribly traumatic for them? My husband will be with me and my sister will be there for the kids in case they change their minds and want to leave, I've even thought of my mother being there in case only one wants to leave and one wants to stay. They really want to be there and i would want them to be there too, but i still haven't made up my mind. Do you think it will be OK!!! I don't want to traumatise them.

Answer 1

Definitely have your children there. It is a natural experience. Just explain what is going to be happening, honestly! I just had my second child, my first attended who was 2 1/2 at the time. My mother held her & I told her if she seemed to become uncomfortable then she could pull her out of the room. It was beautifull. We told her immediately that she was a bid sister. It will not traumitize them, how could it, it's completely normal. Besides if they don't attend they are going to become very jealous. It should be something they are part of, they are part of the family.

Answer 2

I don't think that they will allow that many people in the room when you give birth, it depends on the hospital but usually they don't want a bunch of people. The children should be invited to the hospital if they want to go, and have hourly checkins with you while you are in labor well as long as it isn't active labor. They should be able to stay with another relative, because labor can take a long time and they might want to leave or need to sleep. You can tell them about the process but I don't think that they should be in the room not that it will traumatise them but because they probably won't be allowed and that they could get in the way of making the birthing process as smooth as possible.

Answer 3

I think it would be OK if they really want to be there and understand exactly what will be going on.

I think you need to have a frank conversation with them about what you will go through during childbirth and possibly even show them a Discovery Health Channel Birth Day episode or two so they have some idea of what really will happen.

Also, make sure you have someone there in case they need to leave the room -- your sister being there would be the perfect candidate.

Answer 4

It all depends on the hospital some will NOT let your child be in there with you. My kids are 12 and 8 they will be 13 and 9 by the time I have the baby yet they said it is NOT permitted where I live so....I let them be involved with all my doctor visits because I want them to be hands on one way or another! IF they allow it I would say go for it as long as they do not get scared! CONGRATS AND BEST WISHES

Answer 5

At that age they really don't understand as much of it as we would like to think. Its really not nessasary and a lot of hospitals won't even allow it. But if they do allow it and you are comfortable with it, the choice is ultamitly yours. I would maybe try showing them what happens before everything goes down and see if they can handle it on the computer rather then waiting for real life to find out if they are going to be ok about it or not.

Answer 6

Depends on the rules of the hospital, your doctor and I would suggest asking a therapist for their insight.
If you get a green light from those professionals - then It really depends on the personalities of your children.
If they can handle the intense scenes both medically and all the stress - then I would say yes as it is a phenominal experience.
Knowing my kids at 8 and 9 - I would probably have said no for my older son but given thought to my daughter (9) beibng in witness.

Answer 7

I think it is important for the other siblings to be in the waiting room.It lets them know they are a big part of the family. Even though there is a new baby coming. As for in the delivery room come on now do u really want to scar your children? There are some things children should not see to they are older.

Answer 8

Personally I wouldnt have thought it'd be very good for a child to see its mother in that much pain. I'd say no for so many reasons, what if there are complications? Whose going to explain whats happening to a child of that age, in a language they can understand, when all it can see is it mom in pain and being upset (thats obviously the worst case scenario and I'm sure it wont happen!!!)

Answer 9

I think as long as you prepare them with information of what it's going to be like and they still want to come in then let them. Maybe let them watch a graphic birthing video...and see how they cope with it. They are at that age where they can make some decisions on their own and if after everything you teach and show them they still want to come...then let them. As for you...it almost sounds like you aren't comfortable with them being there. If you think their presence will make you nervous or anxious then let them know. It's up to how you feel first then if they still want to come...then go right ahead. That's my best advice. Good Luck and Congrats!

Answer 10

If you`re comfortable with that arrangement then go ahead,prepare the kids for what they will see..but please do bear in mind that they are only kids,they may change their minds as to whether to be there or not.
Personally,i feel this is a very personal experience which i would only share with my husband,not in laws or other relations...they can attend to birthdays,picnics,christenings etc...not me giving birth!!!!lol!!!!!!!