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my husband treats me like a child no matter what i try and do he doesnt stop? im sick of it ? should i show him where the door is??
there is a five year gap and is this normal in relationships cause i married my first boyfriend

2006-09-05 05:55:38 · 43 answers · asked by tinkerbell 4 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

no he wasnt like this before i wouldnt have been stupid enough to marry if he was

2006-09-05 05:58:46 · update #1

43 answers

It is call ABUSE!!!!!!

Show him the door. He is on a dangerous power and control trip. Don't go for the ride. Been there, done that and it is not fun. The longer you stay married and let him do this, the worse the abuse (not necessarily physical) becomes.

I wasted seven years on my husband. He did not have to work for five years. He chose to cheat while I worked full-time and went to school full-time. We had good benefits; he screwed it up!

I went to his functions. He spent our mortgage and bill money trying to keep up his "appearance" of something he was and is not. He treated me like a child and I worked so hard for him. I knew I deserved more respect. (He is eleven years older than I am. I am 34 years old; he is 45 years old.)

2006-09-05 05:58:08 · answer #1 · answered by dawnsakura 2 · 2 2

I only have one thing to say to you. WE TREAT PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US. Learn from that, don't allow anyone to treat you like a child again. If you still love your husband, change your behavior and he will in turn change the way he treats you. Do some thinking...find out whether or not you would want to be involved in the relationship if the two of you treated each other like respectable, adults with complete equality. If your answer is yes, then you have some work to do. Start with communication...ask for what you want, be clear. Let him know that you are an equal partner in your marriage, and you will no loner continue to let him treat you like a child. You've got to own the problem that you have created, before you can work on changing things. Good luck.

2006-09-05 06:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0 0

No. This isn't normal. I also married my first boyfriend and after 10 years we are still deeply in love. He treats me like a queen. 5 years isn't that big of an age gap either. Your husband has issues. Demand that he stops or kick him to the curb!

2006-09-05 05:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0 0

The big question is do you have children? If you do then you need to work this out. You have the power...you hold the key to his sexual pleasure. Put him on a "get well" program. IF he balks then starve him.

If you have no children then put him on a get well program. IF he doesn't meet what you want then dump him.

He probably treats you like a child becasue you "act" like a child. Don't pout set hium down and work the issue like a professional. Just remember you could end up divorced. You need to be prepared for that possibility.

Good luck

2006-09-05 06:13:29 · answer #4 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0 0

Well thank God for intelligent, reasonable people like GAR501! I wasted almost 5 years married to a complete pig when nothing I could do was ever right. He tried to make decisions over my head about MY money and property and I really had to put my foot down, even as far as having to refuse to sign documents, to make him realise he couldn't just do as he liked. He has never forgiven me and I'm just grateful I didn't waste any more time on the little toad than I did, and divorced him. People like that are inadequate, that's why they try to undermine you. Does he think you're incapable of cooking a meal, hanging out the washing? Does he belittle you in front of your friends, making little "jokes" about how you're too stupid to find your way to the bathroom by yourself? Does he complain that your friends don't like him?

Even if you are a childlike soul, he is your husband and he should be the one to encourage you to grow and become everything you can, not put you down at every opportunity, like mine did.

On the basis of the very little you've told us, it sounds as if he's a waste of space and you should go out and find yourself a real man.

2006-09-05 06:30:27 · answer #5 · answered by Specsy 4 · 1 0

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2016-04-21 10:33:19 · answer #6 · answered by son 3 · 0 0

Hey , I have the same issue ! My husband is 8 years older and I met him when I was 18. He does the same thing to me and it became very nasty at times.Finally after 10 years of marraige , I realized , he still looked at me as an 18 year old and felt the need to "teach me" the ways of the world .Not a woman who has grown up.When I told him this (very nicley)he thought about it for a moment and agreed . He said , " I do still look at you as a kid " and he was very sorry.It opened new doors for us w/ him getting to know me asa woman and things are getting much better.It still happens here and there but I just sayto him " remember Im a woman now" and we laugh.
Try to talk to him , Good Luck

2006-09-05 06:16:55 · answer #7 · answered by suiki 3 · 1 0

sorry too hear that,why don't you tell him that your sick of him treating you like a child .if it doesn't stop yeah sure show him the way out the door bless this must be really hard cause you love him has your married hope it does work out for you good luck...

2006-09-05 06:02:03 · answer #8 · answered by skye 4 · 0 0

You need to explain to him that you are not a child but his wife and friend. I wouldnt show him were the door is. BUt I would tell him that you are a adult and you need to stop treating me like your not. Hey I married my first GF too, and its great. But what all need to do is comunicate with each outher about whats going on.

2006-09-05 05:58:36 · answer #9 · answered by justwaitingtoleave 2 · 1 0

Tell him that this is something that you will no longer stand for any further .. that you deserve to be treated with respect as well as a equal. In addition maybe seek marriage counseling. Good luck

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

2006-09-05 06:00:07 · answer #10 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 1 0

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