Given my history people have been telling her that I am hornball and that all I care about is sex. Basically everyone seems to think that I can't commit. The other day she and I were talking and she suddenly said that she was ready for sex and not even a week before that we had decided on waiting or what not. I don't want her to be pressured into having sex with me because I have an image. In fact I want to wait!!! I want her to know that she is special to me....... I dunno what to do because all my friends keep telling her things like that she is just another notch on my belt and what not. WHICH IS SO NOT TRUE. I love her! Anyway what do I do? I've tried talking to her and she just thinks that I am not sexually attracted to her. WHICH IS SO NOT TRUE as well. Help you guys..... you know what to do.
2006-09-05 05:36:38 · 28 answers · asked by Leelee 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Both of you need to sit down and figure out your relationship, b/c she Is listing to your friends and they don't sound like real Friends If they are telling her thing like this. Sit her down and tell her you love her and that you want to wait and that you do appreciate her and you want the moment to be right for the both of you when you both have sex together. Remember your the only one that can control your relationship and It sounds like her friends and yours are trying to get In the middle of your relationship. GoOd LuCk and I wish you and your g/f the best of luck!
2006-09-05 05:42:10 · answer #1 · answered by twofroggiesand1princess 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People dont give a hoot after a while. If they find a partner they can relate to, they want to have sex. You are tricking yourself into believing you hold all the cards. You dont...and neither does she and she knows it.
Life partners happen because the feelings dont go away. Not having sex for a long time doesnt mean you will love any more than you would if you had done so on the first date. So many factors come into play that...it either works out or it doesnt.
Stop waiting for her to get the message that you love her and that she's special. She doesnt care at this point. She was expecting fireworks and you are giving her the bums rush (negative control freak).
If you like her...then show her that. If she takes off...well she was just looking for a thrill. If she stays...she likes you too. Buggerarsing about for months will give you BOTH nothing but frustration so stop doing it. Be real, be happy, be thankful for each moment....and get on with it already! If it doesnt last...so what????
2006-09-05 12:46:54 · answer #2 · answered by Scully 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do what you feel, AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING CALLING THESE PEOPLE YOUR FRIENDS? Sorry, If they are telling someone special to you that she is just another notch in your belt... hmmmm do your friends not respect you? Just because you were sexually active prior to meeting her doesn't mean she is not the one for you ....... Or that she is not special.... You don't have anything to prove to her, $hit you had a past before her...Your friend are just complicating things for you.... You can make her know she is special by telling her the truth and following through with what you say.... This is between you two not your gang.... Tell her that you had fun with other women before her but you've been waiting for her....
2006-09-05 12:47:04 · answer #3 · answered by mylife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all ask her why she had the sudden change of heart. Is she afraid that you will cheat? Does she want more intimacy? There may be a way of satisfying whatever she is wanting without sex, but you have to know what the need behind the sudden switch was.
I think the next thing needed is for you to look at yourself. Why are you waiting? Do you think that it would hurt the closeness that you are developing if you make love? Are you afraid of that kind of closeness with her?
There seems to be a lot going on inside of both of you that needs to be sorted out.
2006-09-05 13:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by knightofsappho 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, just the fact that you have been trying to hold off on having sex shows that you are more into this relationship than just the physical aspects. However, at the same time, you are not giving you partner what they want. Try to show her that you are sexually attracted to her without going all the way (kissing, cuddling, etc.) and let her know that you only are not moving forward physically because you want your relationship to be more than just the sex. If she also wants a relationship that isn't based off of sex than she would admire you for what you are trying to do and should support you in your decision.
Just don't hold off toooooo long.
2006-09-05 12:41:33 · answer #5 · answered by flyboop_2000 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel instead of telling us. And tell her not to listen to what everybody else says, and if she has any questions or concerns about the relationship, to go directly to you with them.
If you're truly in love, then communication should be a key element in making your relationship work. She must really care for you, too, if she's willing to have sex with you before she's ready just because everyone else is telling her that's what you want.
You need to get this out in the open and straighten it out with her, so you can put it behind you and enjoy each other again, with or without sex.
2006-09-05 12:41:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't suppose it has occurred to you that maybe she is interested in you BECAUSE of your reputation. She has certainly heard of it. And she abruptly tells you that she wants to have sex? It sounds to me like she is looking for action.
If you don't want to be used for sex, that's admirable, really. But you should let her know that you want to take it slow and you're more interested in a relationship. Be forewarned, though: if she's just after a roll in the hay (like it sounds) then she'll ditch you at that point.
While that sounds awful, it's actually good for you. You don't end up wasting your time mooning over a relationship that isn't going to happen. And who knows... if she IS interested in a relationship, maybe she'll respect your decision. At the very least, it will force a discussion of what you're trying to do and why - with luck you'll get the same from her!
Good luck!
2006-09-05 13:18:21 · answer #7 · answered by Doctor Why 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh, can't really answer without first asking you some questions to think about:
Why exactly are you waiting, because of everyone else? And why does she listen to everyone else but you? If this is your relationship why are there so many people involved?
If she is special, then she'll know it. You should both cut out of the other people who are in your business, what you two do is between you and her.
2006-09-05 12:42:47 · answer #8 · answered by Yahoo! Answers Chic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well 1 get new friends, real friends would neva say that about you to anyone. And second if as of right now she doesn't understand that you wanna be with her but when she is ready then, there are may other females out there for you. If it's her you want show her that she is, oh yeah a tell your "friends" to stay out of your life and get there own dammit!!! Luck!
2006-09-05 16:01:57 · answer #9 · answered by sour_apple809 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u don't want to it then tell her!! tell her u r waiting until the rite time!! but make sure she knows that u love her!! if she is still pressuring u then maybe u should have a long talk with her explaining how u feel!
2006-09-05 12:41:05 · answer #10 · answered by betty boop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋