Does it seem strange?

Question

I keep reading questions like "How do I get my bf to swallow" or "How do I tell my bf that I want to tie him up" or "How can I tell if this guys is a bottom or a top?". I just don't understand how people are having sexual realtions with people that they are not comfortable TALKING with...to me sexual realtions are very much about communication. I fully understand that men can come to the agreement to have sex pretty quickly - that is our nature - but it just seems if you can be that comfortable about sex you should be able to TALK to the guy!!!

Some interesting points have been made about people not being raised in homes where communication was 'taught' - VERY INTERESTING to me. I suppose that makes a lot of sense if you never saw people 'communicating' at home how would you develope the skill?

Answer 1

Precisely. From some of the questions though it seems more as if some have already made up their minds and want "confirmation".

I just want to remind people that NOT talking is how disease is spread... if you are truly that afraid to ask questions, perhaps it is time to rethink having sex at all.

Answer 2

Even thought to many people the obvious answers to these questions seems to be just that "obvious", most men I have to say don't communicate effectively. Or the communication is one way, or is attempted the first time, or that some men were not brought up to be able to express themselves or their needs or even their sexual pleasure without fear. When people are oppressed (for instance in countries where it is illegal to speak against the regime for fear of violence), people are not taught to speak about sexuality or feelings in general. I do not think that ineffective communication is necessarily a "gay man's" problem, rather a problem across the board. It is apparent in the Yahoo Questions because there are many different people from all ages, races, genders, sexual orientations and classes asking the questions. It is better that people do have a forum to discuss sexuality: (in all its forms) and not be afraid to ask questions. Questions mean that at least a person has managed to put pen to paper and thought into words, and it is evident with the number of people who are in the "closet" about their sexuality, out of fear. Fear of the unknown, of not knowing something. How does a person learn about sexuality? By asking questions. As a gay man, it has taken me years of silence before I found a voice. And a forum for that voice.

Answer 3

It's not always that they are not comfortable talking with them but maybe they don't want to. I know with many of my "tricks" we would never have serious conversations. It takes away the thrill of being with someone new and different. I only need to know the things. Are you clean? Top or Bottom? and Your house or mine? I don't need to know anything else because then I end up thinking how F-up he is the entire time we are getting it on. And if your boyfriend or you are on here asking the question then you are a bad Bf. Because you should know how to put in on yo man like no one can.

Answer 4

I agree with you. With me I've always wanted someone to talk to and not try to pull my pants down the first few minutes. I used to chat in yahoo chat rooms and I have to say 90% of the guys who I would of met only wanted to meet for one thing. I feel strange because I'm not all about that, yes I do think of it but friendship is at the top of the list.

I have been talking to a few people from here that seems to feel the same way so I'm glad I'm not alone.

:)

Answer 5

Good morning tab... I agree, it's almost if some people are here to to see if we will answer these types of questions. (sexual Nature) If you are old enough to have sex you should be responsible enough to communicate about it... I could see if it was some freaky deky... ummm,.. but not just BASICs....
Like how do I get my boyfriend to wear a mask and whip me, and pretend he is someone else, might be a good question...

Answer 6

I could not agree with you more. But I got to tell you on a whole men are not the best at communicating. That is usually something we are not taught.

Answer 7

Kind of depends on the person and if they feel comfortable asking their partners themselves or just need a little encouragement from us. Most of the time they know what to do, but need the knowledge that someone agrees with them or thinks it is ok

Answer 8

Here, here!

Or Girl for that matter. I've seen almost as many questions about sexual relations from girls, although we're not as upfront in our questioning style as men.
"How can I find a Stud website" (Translation: I want to find a Lesbian dating website that features Studs/Soft Butches)

"How can I tell if this girl is a lesbian" (Translation: This chic is hot! I want to sleep with her, how do I approach her?)

It's not a uniquly male thing.

Answer 9

will i am comfortable talking to my man about sex.we try new things we make sure we are both please at the same time.its just the young ones at the new age just don't care or just want to see what other ppl say.and then there are ppl who are a shamed of it.we might be open ppl but there are some who are just not happy.with there self or with the other person there with so thay cant talk to them about it.as i always say if you cant trust your self you cant love because love comes with trust

Answer 10

Applause everyone!!! Communication in a sexual relationship...what a novel approach!