when me n my husband go out with his frds he is more worried if they r comfortable & are having good fun ,especially their wives. i feel left out. we have talked about it but it hasnt helped. eg; i say i want to go rita's and his frds wife wants to go brusters. he say lets go to brusters.this is just an example but small things like this has made me very sad and depressed. he says i m making big deal out of nothing.am i?? its even spoiling our relation now.
2006-09-05 05:20:34 · 17 answers · asked by jenny 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There's nothing wrong with wanting to accomodate your friends. But only if it's balanced out with accomodating your significant other. You have to ask him to indulge you every once in a while, and tell him that you're his most important friend. But sometimes you *will* have to accomodate other people, too - there's no getting away from that.
2006-09-05 05:26:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how much the small things can really hurt. My husband does a similar thing. He often cuts me off while we are walking together so he can get closer to other people to continue a conversation. So sometimes, I deliberately walk behind. After a while, he'll notice that I've gone missing and run back to find me. He'll also ask me where should we eat. I always pick a place and he agrees to it, but then later changes his mind. So then I tell him I'd rather not go out to that place yet again. I tell him that he should go out and have a good time with his friends, but I'll pass. He usually gets the hint. I have mentioned it to him every time, and he is getting better. I don't know if this strategy will work, but if you really don't want to go to Brusters you shouldn't have to. If you want to go to Rita's, then go to Rita's.
2006-09-05 05:28:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this a primary issue or a secondary issue built on top of another foundational problem? Are there other things that bother you about your relationship? Are you the jealous type? Does your husband take your opinion into account when making other decisions? Advice- Make your opinion clear next time when making plans- I really would like to go to Rita's- let's plan for everyone to go there next Friday.
2006-09-05 05:33:50 · answer #3 · answered by beckferr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just a bit jaelous. He probably grew up without any female friends and now that he has some, he makes a big deal out of it. Its nothing to worry about. You should check next time you are all out if he shows you any affection, like calls you something else besides you name. If he calls you just by name and acts like he doesnt know you, I would talk about it, but I still think its not on purpouse
2006-09-05 05:24:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you might need to do/say something that puts an impact on him...because obviously I'm sure he cares about you but he isn't seeing how much this is affecting you. I'm sorry you have to go through that! It must be hard! Let him know that he might think you are making a big deal out of it but he needs to validate your feelings because how you feel does MATTER!!!
2006-09-05 05:26:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may find some thing attractive in the other women he meets , U just have to watch them and findout what U need to be like them, the way of dressing , walking , talking , loughing ...
Yr husband cares about U but these things may happens and are curable
2006-09-05 05:25:54 · answer #6 · answered by BioProf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a little thing, but youre right...those 'little' things add up to a pattern of ignoring your feelings and that your feelings dont count.
Youve fallen into a lull in the relationship that needs to be addressed. Youve tried one way by talking about it. Try new ways to gain your hubby's attention back by recalling your first dates/encounters with him. Become his 'girlfriend' by dressing more noticably to him and giving him affection that a 'girlfriend' would do. Drop the 'talks' with him and start some
'actions' to get yourself his undivided attention.
He's yours girl...gotta get remind him of the 'girl' he fell in love with. ;) Be sweet and give it a go.
2006-09-05 05:39:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no ...maybe he should learn to go with the things you want sometimes...it shouldn't always be the friends choice and it shouldn't always be your choice if you are going out as a group...you should all agree on something or take turns choosing ur husband is not going to lose his friends by going out to eat where his wife would like to go instead of where they want to go
2006-09-05 05:29:30 · answer #8 · answered by KrIsTyN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is more concerned about the other women. Try to cut down on these outings with other couples. Go out more on your own ie you and your husband alone.
2006-09-05 05:28:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel for you . my husband does me the same way. or he just ignores me all together. the best way i've found to deal with his crap. when their sittin around the table or whatever they do. go make your own friends. start up confersations with other people besides them and your husband will get to noticing. or do the reverse on him start siding with his friends if he says one thing agree with the other.
2006-09-05 05:27:49 · answer #10 · answered by Deadgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋