My parents don't like my boyfriend, they don't think he's good enough!!?

Question

My boyfriend is 13 years older than me and he met my parents for the first time the other day!!He was chatty and (I thought) said nothing offensive.
When I got home from seeing him my parents and I had a huge arguement. They say I've lowered my standards and that he's not good enough for me!!
He treats me like a princess but they don't want to hear this!!They said that they feel sorry for me that I have to go out with someone like him.And say I have a problem and no taste!!
I really enjoy spending time with him and he is a lovely person and I wish they would see this!!
I agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinion but to go on looks and they way someone talks only I think is shallow!!
I am adament that I am not going to break up with him but I was wondering how I can smooth things out with my parents.

Answer 1

screw it.. it''s your boyfriend. not theres

Answer 2

I don't agree with some people that your boyfriend's advanced age is a problem. A mature man and a young woman can make a good pair, provided that his motives are really what you think they are. And that brings up an important point.

You didn't mention your age, but I'm going to guess it's in the late teens or early 20s. If you're like NEARLY ALL people that age, you're intellectually conceited and think that you know much more than you really do, that your judgment is much better than it really is, and that you are in all respects much more competent in handling the challenges that life might toss your way than you really are.

Can you repair a car that won't run? Can you navigate a ship? Can you fly an airplane? All those things are easy, compared with wisely living your own life. You can sooner learn celestial mechanics (I could teach you) than all the conventional wisdom involved in choosing a mate. And the reason it's called "conventional" wisdom is that it's usually reliable.

You've never been 40. But your parents, both of them, HAVE been 20. They've been where you are now. You've never been where they are. Don't you expect to learn a few things, and gain wisdom from your experiences, during the next twenty years? Don't you think your parents did? They can judge what you cannot judge. Their vision of how things stand is better, much better, lightyears better than yours is. If they think that you're moving toward the ruination of your life, then they're probably right. Somebody ought to slap some sense into you while there's still time for you to pull back from the edge.

The years of early adulthood are very tricky years. You're assigned the responsibility for your actions long before you acquire the wisdom to handle it well. Your parents are your only dependable ward to any number of disasters that you, in your almost complete ignorance, might step into; they are your only safeguard against troubles that can last the whole rest of your life, and even beyond your life: your youthful mistakes can affect any children that you might have, and theirs after them.

Also, older people are very clever. We can manipulate people your age and keep you from seeing what we're up to --.about the same way you can do with a small child. You don't really know your older boyfriend as well as you think you do.

Answer 3

First of all, you say he is 13 years older than you, how old are u to begin. I mean I don't have anything against love, but that's a big age difference. Just think when your at your sexual prime (30-33), if you're not there already, he will be starting his down fall (41+). I'm mean the drive factory is not comprable. Another thing is that, you need to sit down and talk with your parents, talk not argue. Hear them out, listen to their point of view. Most parents speak with experience and of course parents always want the best for their children. Maybe the age gap is their problem. Work it out by talking that's the best.

Good luck,

Answer 4

wow,sounds like your parents are being a little harsh. i mean everyone deserves a try .. i had this same problem. they didnt like the guy i am with now but once they realized he isnt going any where and that we are honestly in love, they decided to give him a try. and when they finally did they were able to see him like i see him. for the sweet cute amazing person he is. dont give up your parents will eventualy have to give him a shot when they see that he really is there to stay. and t might not be him it may just be the age differance because parents often wonder what an older guy could want with their daughter. it may make them uncomfortable so they automaticly dont like him. butthey'll eventualy come around just keep pounding in to their heads what a great guy he is and how awsome he treats you ... they listen trust me ... they just dont let you know because they are fixated on one thing they dont like about him. :)

Answer 5

If you're underaged, respect their opinion; they're the ones feeding you and they've probably made a lot more rational, good choices in their lives than you have at this point. If you're of age, who cares? If you still live at home you should get out while the getting's good anyway, and if your parents ideals haven't gotten through to you by now they are very likely never going to get through to you...so follow your path! If it leads to drug addiction and poverty, well, remember it was your choice and don't go crawling back to them!

Answer 6

your parents are porbably right (as long as they're not judging by looks) parents generally know kids better than kids know themselves.... the first guy I ever really liked, my dad went to spend some time with him, and when he came home, he told me flat out that we would never work.... but at the same time, he was not saying don't go with him, figure it out on your own.
Turns out, my dad was right.... I didn't date the guy, but I did spend a lot of time with him, and I got to see the real side. And we were completely incompatible.

family first. how old are you guys?

Answer 7

I am not a parent but I do have to say that Parents are ALWAYS right. Maybe you should listen to them and figure out what it is that they are trying to tell you instead of being so blindly in love.

Answer 8

they are your parents, unless they decide who you are with the guy will never be good enough, or pretty enough or anything, Remember, your the one in the relationship with him, you need to make yourself happy, would you want to be in a relationship with someone and be miserable all the time, just to make your parents smile? No. In order to be happy with someone you have to be happy with your self, and you have to feel happy with yourself when you are with that someone. and if this guy does that for you, then tell your parents..ya know im happy, and im sorry you can't accept that.

Answer 9

Been there!!! And i am sorry to tell you that they usually see something you don't. However the case maybe that they are just being paranoid and overprotective in other words they are being parents. Try to look at things in their light and talk to them try to make them see in him what you see. Communication is the key.

Answer 10

Discuss it with them, see what they dont like abt him, if its real genuine concern then evaluate what they have to say, being older they have more experience in people, and see if it has weight to it. If its something trivial, then discuss the same with your bf, see what his reaction is, if he freaks out then tata bye bye, but if he doesnt then he is good.
Also remember you might have to go through the same process with his parents..

Answer 11

think long and hard about their reasoning behind it.
If you truly beleive they are wrong remain RESPECTFUL with them and show them slowly through time that he is worthy of you.Show them why he is interesting to you. What makes you like him.
You are their child and it is only normal for them to worry
Remember that they r your parents and that they will always be your parents you cant change that.Boyfriends on the other hand.............................
My parents didnt like my boyfriend at first. now 11 years later they adore him