She enables him to take my kids more and then he leaves them with her for her to entertain. If she wasn't there for him to dump the kids on while he's out doing his own thing, he wouldn't come to get them. Then I could spend quality time with my kids on the weekend. A friend of mine saw the stepmom, her kids and my kids at the mall, ex was at home! Why does she enable him like this. I hate for my kids to be away from me, and it's even worse knowing it's become visitation for her and her kids.
2006-09-05 03:56:12 · 15 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What you need to do is to document *his* behavior. She's not doing anything wrong. The purpose of visitation is to allow the non-custodial parent time for parenting. If he is not doing this, you need to document it. Once you have established the pattern of behavior, you can ask the court to reduce his visitation.
2006-09-05 04:02:46 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
While I see the point of your anger, in wanting to spend more time with your kids, he remarried someone who was willing to take on his kids, so she does. I don't hear you saying she's a bad influence or mean to them. Are the kids mad? Because, really you should be thrilled he didn't marry some freak who would really give you fits! Your children are lucky to have someone extra to love and care for them. She will never rival your place, you are their mother. If you ever remarry, will your new husband not take your kids places without you? Will he not spend time alone with them? If you had a weekend job, or engagement of sorts, would you take them to your ex's house? leave them with a sitter? or would it be likely your new husband would care for them in your absence?
I say, tell your ex how you feel about lost time, not about the stepmom. You know, "If you have other obligations during your visitation, please consider leaving the kids with me." Two of my kids that would rather be at the mall with anyone than at home with Dad, the mall has stuff to buy! And her kids do have a relationship with yours. Shouldn't you have some weekends, too? In fact, why don't you enjoy this time to yourself. You can't get rid of her, legally. Use those weekends to relax!
2006-09-05 04:24:49 · answer #2 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should embrace the fact that she is willing to spend time with your children and treats them well, as for him being a lazy sob, you knew this when you divorced him. You should speak to your ex about spending more time with his kids not be angry with the stepmom who will be in these childrens lives for as long as she puts up with him.
Ask your kids what they enjoyed most about spending the weekend with their father maybe you don't realize how much they do together.
Whatever you do refrain from bad mouthing either dad or stepmom in front of the kids...thats just wrong!
2006-09-05 04:02:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get help. You're eaten up with jealousy. This has nothing to do with your children. They are seemingly having a good time and get on well with your ex's new partner.
Some people would say she's rather "accommodating" and anyone would think that's a good thing?? So if she took the kids shoping and he was at home??? So that never happened when you were together?
Get over him and don't use your kids to manipulate the situation.
If there is no evidence that the kids are coming to any harm there is nothing you can do.
2006-09-05 04:14:16 · answer #4 · answered by Placebo 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No judge would grant full custody to you just because when your kids are visiting with your ex they spend time with his wife. It's not that easy to get full custody, the kids are being fed, and watched , and no one is hurting them, so pretty much there is not case for family court. And possible your kids like to spend time with their stepmom. She is part of your kids family now and you need to get used to the idea no matter how hard it is.
2006-09-05 04:12:25 · answer #5 · answered by candygurlnc23 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When your children go to the Fathers you do not have a say unless it is abusive or dangerous for them. Just because your children are with the step mom and her children doesn't mean a thing except they are shopping with her. What is happening the Dads how is not your business unless again it is not good for the children.
If your children are not complaining then there is nothing you can do.
I know you miss your children but them being in the family of their Dad is important. You need to keep yourself busy with other things when they are not with you.
2006-09-05 04:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by Mit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can not get "rid" of anger. you need to learn to let it out in a healthy yet useful way. Find something that can relief you, like sports or music or reading. you need to work hard and it doesn't come easily. The first step for you is to learn how to MANAGE this anger ( ex: anger management classes...) then you need to start thinking about ways to help you avoid this anger.
2016-03-26 22:58:16 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally, you can't get rid of her. However, you can communicate with her. If she's willing to listen, tell her your concerns. Tell your ex as well. If they truly enjoy their time with their stepmom, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. But remember, communication is the key.
2006-09-05 04:16:49 · answer #8 · answered by t_raudenbush 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he just comes to get them for her, than that's wrong, he should spend time with them to, that's not right to you, i'm a step-mom, and we have custody of the his kids, and the real mom don't want nothing to do with the kids, and she's told them she don't love them, their only 5 and 6, so i got the kids the most of the time, but i think of them as my own, and they think of me as their mom, even when they know i didn't give birth, they tell everyone that i did, so i wouldn't want anyone trying to get rid of me, and the daddy should be responsible for the kids to, mine is, and i think that all men/women should open up their eyes..... and realize that they have kids, but they don't, if it wasn't for the step mom, they probally would never see their daddy, and that's said, just tell him you want the kids more, or he's going to half to spend time with them his self, it's not the step moms place to have them all the time when their at his house, although she might not care, she's just doing what she thinks best, have a talk with her, she'll understand, cause she has kids of her own tooo....
don't be mad at her, it's the daddy's responsiblty, he don't want to do it, so she feels it's her place to help, i wouldn't try to get rid of her, she don't know how you feel
so tell her
2006-09-05 04:14:55 · answer #9 · answered by miss.d 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can not get rid of your ex's wife. You need to learn to deal with this is the fact that she is part of your children's lives. I understand how you feel. I know if it wasn't for my ex's wife he would never see our daughter. However, I also know that having her father in her life is what is best for her, even if it isn't what I want.
2006-09-05 03:58:50 · answer #10 · answered by Erin S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋