Me and my fiance have been together for 15 months and now he suddenly wants to put a "hold" on things. Is he tired of me?
2006-09-05 03:31:22 · 12 answers · asked by T.V Casualty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
maybe he has a lot going on and just wants some time. maybe he is rethinking the whole getting married thing right now. does he work. is it stressful. the best thing you can do is talk to him directly bc we cant tell you what hes thinking.
2006-09-05 03:33:36 · answer #1 · answered by howdy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two possibilities:
1) It isn't you it's just a fear of the speed of things (15 months is short time from first date to engagement) and/or the concept of marraige. In which case he would be attempting to put a hold on the engagement only, but not his relationship with you. My advice in this situation would simply be (if you love him) to be patient. If you love him it doesn't really matter if you get married next week or next year?
2) If he is wanting to put a hold on the engagement AND the relatioship then, I'm affraid, it is you. He is now not sure if you are one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and - I'm sorry to have to say this but it's true - where marriage is concerned as soon as there is any doubt about whether it should happen, then there is no doubt that it should not. In those circumstances you've got precisely one chance to talk to him and try to convince him that you are the one for him - but you should prepare yourself for the idea of letting him go. If you are (both) mature enough about this you might still salvage a friendship.
There is also a third option and that is that he has found someone else, but I'm pretty sure he would have left you outright rather than mumble about putting things on hold were that the case.
Regardless of which of the above is true, you will have to talk to him and sort it out. Above all be patient, respect his decisions and make sure he respects yours. That way, whilst you might not be able to keep the lover, you will be able to keep the friend.
2006-09-05 10:50:33 · answer #2 · answered by a1mandrake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can answer that question for you expect for him...you need to have a heart-to-heart with him and ask him to open up and let you in. After being together for 15 months and already engaged, that is going a bit fast...maybe he needs to back up to make sure that he's making the right decisions.....it's not necessarily something that you've done, could be that he just wants to be sure about marriage. Another thing you need to do is, rely on your women's intuition......too often we want to ignore the signs....don't allow yourself to do that......
2006-09-05 10:35:01 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just don't dwell on it. you can find somebody else. don't go begging to him to understand what happened and play your hand right. if you behave like putting things on hold may not be a big deal for you as well, he may open up more and actually talk to you why he thinks that way. If he doesn't talk to you than that means he has feelings for another woman.
what ever you do just don't act desperate or he will fell like he can dominate you and do as he pleases...
2006-09-05 10:40:14 · answer #4 · answered by Tulu C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its hard to tell. 15 months isnt alot of dating. alot of people date 2 or more years before they get engaged. he might just want to get to know you better before you spend the rest of your lifes together. or maybe things are busy at work so he doesnt have time to deal with it right now. i dont think hes getting tired of you or he would probably just break up with you. but goodluck anyways.
2006-09-05 10:34:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men have different ways of dealing with stress
give him some space....he'll realize how lonely he
is with out you and come back to you like a little
child. Be independent, sure of yourself, never clingy
you are engaged for a reason......
2006-09-05 10:51:53 · answer #6 · answered by rokrgrl77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is either commitment phobic or there is another woman. One or the other. Time to move on. He's a losser.
2006-09-05 10:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by ruthie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe? Or just confused? Or many other things. Some of them may be good things?! good luck to you
2006-09-05 10:33:51 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is no more interested in you. He might have been going to somewhere else. It is better to leave him now for good.
2006-09-05 10:34:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it may not be you. It's more likely him and those cold little feet of his. Talk it through...
2006-09-05 10:33:15 · answer #10 · answered by just browsin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋