I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years although i love him, he no longer seems to pay me attention and wants to go out with the lads all the time, there is a guy i've known for a few years who has recently told me he loves me and would like to meet up for a coffee at his resturant and maybe more. He is a very nice person and i find him very attractive but can't help feeling guilty even though i've not done anything, he wants me to meet him tomorrow but i know that it just won't be for coffee. What should i do?
2006-09-05 03:25:10 · 51 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That's men for you...the moment they know they have you they seem to forget that we have needs..and it's not scratching our asses and watching ESPN like them...So if there's someone else paying attention to you of course it's flattering..and a big turn on...I think you should sit down with your honey and have a talk..Let him know what you want from him...If you really love your bf then you shouldn't go to get coffee..b/c it might turn into sex...although the sex might be good...j/k
2006-09-05 03:30:20 · answer #1 · answered by bellita_716 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
id say go for it. having an affair could help put some fire back into your relation ship, have a we read of the book when good people have affairs. I was in the same boat with my partner of 12 years and yes i did have an affair and it was the best choice i made! yes i felt guilty as hell but it showed me how much i really did love him and want to be with him. That was 4 years ago and since my affair we have become stronger as a couple and things have never been better. It cleared my head and gave me that we bit excitement i needed at the time. My partner doesnt know about my affair and i and the 3rd party (he is married) agreed to keep it between us. No real harm done!
2015-05-03 06:07:25 · answer #2 · answered by kathryn o 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to resist temptation; especially if it is for somebody you've known for a while and attracted too. Right off the bat, I would say 'no', don't meet up with this person because you might do something you'll regret. However, it also sounds like the current relationship you are in has kind of fizzled out and your partner is no longer giving you the attention you seek. You should at least talk to your boyfriend about this and see what he thinks; if you don't get the answers you are seeking, maybe its time to seek other options.
Don't meet up with the new guy or at least let him know that you are involved in something and can't move forward with a physical relationship; afterwards, talk to your boyfriend and find out where your relationship is going.
2006-09-05 03:33:15 · answer #3 · answered by flyboop_2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've been with your "Beau" for 5 years, and he's not paying any attention to you anymore.... Tell him you want to see other people, and he could too... that way there's no hard feelings.. Tell him that you think you too, need some time apart, some space,for awhile..... Otherwise, to enhance things with your guy ... do a night of Romance......break-out the laungerie, the candles, get some rose pedals, and bubbles, for a bath together.. A nice candlelit dinner, for two..... Some "BarryWhite" on the sounds system!! and try to make the most of what you've got there with your 5 year relationship... Before you go out with someone new, I'd try to save your relationship first, if that doesn't work, then, tell him you want a break, from him... But,dont sneak around.... You wouldn't want him to do that to you ... You know...
2006-09-05 03:48:04 · answer #4 · answered by Hmg♥Brd 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wowee, everyone's got an answer. anyway here's my 2cents.
people tend to take each other for granted after a few years i think - you sound like you're doing it too, thinking about cheating on him. but if you still think you love him and you've spent 5 years on him, your relationship's got to be worth more than that.
i'd say sit him down and have a serious talk. tell him you don't think you can go on if something doesn't change. make sure you mean it, or else you'll just end up at the same point a few months on.
don't go out to flirt or anything worse with someone else. you'd only be doing it to make yourself feel wanted for a little while... sure, it would feel great, but believe me, the morning after feeling sucks so bad. make a clean break and clear your head before you jump into anything. and even if the new guy turns out to be wonderful you'll always wish you'd started it honestly instead of as an affair.
good luck!
2006-09-05 03:43:20 · answer #5 · answered by runtotheangels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still with your boy friend after five years, if he's not giving you what you need? He has chosen to be with his pal's instead of you, that pretty much tells you where his interests are. If I were you, I would leave this situation, place of dwelling and find your own place. Then proceed to begin another meaningful relationship with someone who cares for you. This means, he respects your feelings, is passionate toward you, and is a honest person from the word go! Clean the passed mess up first. This new guy will see your serious about him when you do so. Cocoa
2006-09-05 03:35:43 · answer #6 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your already having an emotional affair if this other guy is telling you he loves you. If you are not happy in your current relationship then get out of it. I have been there and I know once a person shows lack of interest and support in you, they usually stay that way. Do you want to live like that forever?? Ask yourself that. Untill then put the coffee on hold and finish what you started.
2006-09-05 03:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by Kit Katt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you should address the issue with your boyfriend first, rather than consider an affair. It's only fair to both of the guys involved. I think the guilt you may feel after embarking on an affair may destroy the relationship you now have. You could be left with nothing.
Of course, you could just think f***k it - life is short, and go for it. It is a difficult one to answer not knowing you personally. Think hard about it, because statistics show that more affairs are destructive to those around them than constructive. Good luck!
2006-09-05 04:56:43 · answer #8 · answered by richardmsteed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one in control of your life, Your boyfriend doesn't seem to be willing to make a commitment if it has been 5 years now. I do NOT believe an affair is right or the answer. Either break up with your boyfriend and move on or don't meet the guy. You are not a helpless worm. You do not have to have sex with either one of them. You have a mind and can choose the right decision. Cheating is disgusting. Surely, you are above that immature behavior. Gather your thoughts and decide who you want to be with for a lifetime. You know it is possible to have a talk with your boyfriend about commitment and his lack of affection toward you. It is also possible to simply move on to a more comfortable relationship with someone who is willing to commit to you.
2006-09-05 03:33:32 · answer #9 · answered by ruthie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you love your boyfriend but you come onto an online answers board to have strangers help you make a life-altering decision about your relationship? If your boyfriend isn't paying the same attention to you as he used to, TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT! If he isn't responsive, maybe it's time you two split and looked for more fulfilling relationships. Sounds like you just want attention from someone but it doesn't matter who from. You didn't say anything about loving the other guy. Sorry girl, but this is the truth.
2006-09-05 03:30:16 · answer #10 · answered by Iknowsomestuff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋