my bf wont tell me what he is up too and we have been together for two years!i'm afraid its the shady illegal stuff again and he wants a baby that i now i am not ready for.is this a good reason to break up with him i love him but cant find a way to work this out are there any other options??
2006-09-05 03:22:43 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
i grow tiered of trying to keep him out of trouble and know now that i am in college i dont have the time because my school ork comes first.
2006-09-05 03:34:21 · update #1
Kick him to the curb. He is bad news.
2006-09-05 03:24:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question you need to ask to yourself is Do you want to live with a shady guy with shady stuff. Is this how you dreamt of your life? If not then just tell him that he chose the worng person. Be honest and let him know you dont want to be part of this mess. Having a baby is surely your choice, if you know you are not ready for it then you should not, because eventually the baby is the sufferer, as you are the care giver, If you have the baby when you are not ready the negativity will show up and children sense it.
YOur sentence "I love him" and is this a good reason to break up is funny" Make up your mind about him, it all depends on how he is treating you and how you feel about him. If even a grain within is signalling you negative feelings then it is good to end the relationship.
Having a baby is easy, but making a family is effort. You are the decider on what you want. Decisions are the expressions of who you are and what you want from life.
2006-09-05 03:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by thachu5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, having a baby is a LOT of work. You will be getting up during the night, all night, to feed and care for it. You will be tied to the child for the next 18 years. Think carefully about this. When YOU decide to have a child, it should be with a man who is able to be completely open, honest, and committed (as in marriage), so that you and your child will be taken care of.
Now, about leaving him: run, and run fast. You do not want to be with a guy who even makes you think that he's doing something illegal. What kind of life would this be for you? Things don't get better as a relationship ages--they get worse.
If he's not being open now, he'll only start to hide more. If you're tied down with a baby, that'll keep you busy so that he can do whatever he wants. Do NOT fall in this trap. Too many women have, and you don't want to be a statistic. Walk away now.
2006-09-05 03:32:49 · answer #3 · answered by Katyana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's really not a good person to have a baby with if he isn't being that open with u and hiding stuff from u..u really shouldn't have a baby with him, especially since you're not ready and he shouldn't pressure u..he makes no sense to want a baby with u if he's not even being honest with u and how u might not like some things about him, and having a baby is best in a marraige too anyways..u should try to talk to him about why he wants a baby when he's not even being honest with u since having a baby with someone should just be done when the relationship is going very well and when married, and he doesn't seem to love u if he wants to have a baby when he's not even being that good of a bf and when he's not being that trustful..u should talk to him about why he's not telling u things and if he's not going to be honest with u, then he's not respecting u enough and u shouldn't be with him if he can't be open with u, and if u don't like things about him and if he won't change then it'll likely just bother u longer into the relationship, so there r good reasons to break up with him if u don't like how he acts or doesn't like how he does and if he doesn't treat u right, and him wanting to have a baby with u when he's not even being that good of a bf is ridiculous and he doesn't seem to be even that good of a bf to stay with..u 2 being together for 2 years and him not being honest is a problem and if he doesn't want to be honest or perhaps change then it's better to end it instead of having harder times later and can be with someone instead who can treat u better
2006-09-05 07:17:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have some time away from him. You certainly don't need to keep finding ways of "keeping him out of trouble." He's a big boy - he should be able to take care of himself and get himself out of his own messes.
If you THINK there's a possibility of him doing something illegal, chances are, he probably IS. I would run for the hills if I were you! And NO, NO, NO!!! Do NOT have a baby with him! That is the last thing you need.
Right now, you need to get your head on straight, stay in college, get rid of this guy, and find a lifestyle that is good for YOU. Be a little selfish - make your college years all about you, not someone else. There's plenty of time to find a new guy - you certainly don't need this one!
2006-09-05 04:43:10 · answer #5 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey buddy,
don't be impulsive about anything. just relax and think it over again.
1. is he trying to get rid of u and thats why he's making dumb requests like a baby
2. may be u should ask him why he needs a baby... trust me taliking out will make things better for both of u
3. is break up what u r looking forward for. can u handle urself emotionally after the break up? how long will u take to cope up after the break?remember u hv school to be concerned about...
4. how certain are u that break up is the solution? also can u trust this guy with ur life?
5. is ur relation worth what u r putting into it....do u need to struggle n compromise for him....
think upon these questions.reflect on these when u r in a state of peace with urself
2006-09-05 06:00:01 · answer #6 · answered by Sacred H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know him better than anyone so If your sure its illegal tell him you guys need a break for awhile. That way your not braking up. You could talk with a counselor. Someone who is not bias toward you or him. Maybe, you could do a little investigating yourself. Find out before babies unless its too late. Good Luck.
2006-09-05 05:23:43 · answer #7 · answered by ENCHANTRESS ROSE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say dump him, wait four or five years, and then start dating again. That way, you'll be better suited for the quircks of relationships.
never ever ever throw a baby into a broken situation, if he cant be honest with you, adn you cant trust him, bringing a baby into it simply means YOU end up having to raise it, while he rots away in jail and cant pay child support.
No one needs that life style. Certainly not you.
2006-09-05 03:25:29 · answer #8 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him.. let him go or leave him.
More so if you love yourself leave him.
Dont bring a child into a rocky relaionship. having babies DO NOT MEND A ROCKY NOR BROKEN RELATIONSHIP.
If he is into illegal activity, his actions will refelct on you whwther you are involved or not, and thusly will place any children you have into a bad enviroment.
Leave, you may not like it, you will be hurt over a broken heart. But broken hearts do heal.
Shady pasts however are quite another things and hard to leave behind no matter what good intentions you have.
2006-09-05 03:36:04 · answer #9 · answered by Shalamar Rue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you must love each other for the relationship to work out.
Don't take his word for it if he says he loves you.
You must like him. If not, even you if you feel that you love him, it will not work out fine.
He must also respect you and vice versa.
Listen to each other.
Do you want to have a baby? What will a baby do for your future?
Does your boyfriend need help? He won't ask for help if he needs hhelp, and he won't admit it, so find out on your own.
Best of all, talk to your parents.
All the best.
2006-09-05 04:43:12 · answer #10 · answered by lkraie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and tell him you are not ready for a child if he keeps pushing for a baby then i feel it is a good reason to break up with him Good luck
2006-09-05 03:33:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋