My boyfriend of 4 years is hesitant on marriage. How long does a girl wait?

Question

We talk about getting married, have been for a while. But his parent's got divorced when he was young, his dad never remarried and his mom is on her 3rd marriage. He said he's afraid that it won't work out and we'll end up hating each other and he doesn't want that, but that it's just something he'll have to get over. But how long am I supposed to wait for him to come to terms with the fact that our relationship is not his parents' relationships?

Answer 1

I don't know, but I've been waiting 10 years...I think that if you play housewife and there is no commitment, then they will never be one...that's what I did..I should have had the bastard marry me before we moved in....

Answer 2

Well me and my husband were together for 7 years with 4 child before we got married (And still are married). Don't try to rush him. Let him do it at his own pace. But if you feel like you can't wait then you may need to move on. But that is not going to promise you that the next man will marry you in the time that you want him to. So if your relationship is fine then sit back and enjoy it. Everybody has there own time at doing things. Because it seemed like the more I rushed my husband the more he started to pull away. And when I just left it alone he finally proposed.

Answer 3

Tell him you are extremely sad about his past. These were things he can't change and although you are aware of what he has went through he can elect to have a happy marriage and make it work, he can see what he can do as a man to make it a good one! Tell him that we all have had terrible things happen in our past however the bottom line is that was his parents mistakes not yours, and your not paying for debts you don't owe. Unless he wants to commit then you will have to decide if you want to give up your right to be a wife because of his parents! Then tell him your not willing to do that! Let him see that he needs to work on getting rid of his baggage! Good Luck!

Answer 4

a girl waits as long as she is willing to wait .... which is more important, the status of being married or being with your bf? marriage comes with no guarantees .... for example, both my grandparents were divorced and one of each remarried til death, my parents were married for life, my brother has been married to his wife(a divorcee') all his life, my sister divorced after 25 years and remarried happily for what seems like a lifelong marriage, i myself, have been married and divorced twice and have not remarried since (yet). whether it works or not will be determined by your commitment to it and your communication with each other and willingness to compromise over the little things. good luck

Answer 5

Sit the Dude down and point-blank ask him if he has any intentions of marrying you. If he studders, if he starts with the "why?" crap, get up and pack your stuff honey. You've waited long enough. Just be prepared to pack up and leave or he'll never commit to you. As long as you'll settle for a relationship on his terms, he'll go on forever. Godloveya!

Answer 6

If u really love him and can not for see ur life with anyone but him u wait as long as it takes..

Its just up to you how long ur willing to wait on him.. and to be honest with urself on what u want.. perhaps set a time limit of how long ur willing to wait, cause although i know u love him, i think the worst thing in the world is to give up your life to someone for many years just to find out its a waste of your time, but thats something u have to choose for yourself, no one else can chose that for u

Answer 7

I think you already know the answer. If after 4 years he's hesitant, he's not going to be ready another 4 years from now. It doesn't take that long for a guy to know if he's feeling you or not.
Follow your intuition.

Answer 8

Don't be bothered by that. Don't ever rush a guy into marrying you unless he wants to.

He could just be a little nervous. Or perhaps he think that you would say no. Throw hints.

Best of luck..hope things works out.

Answer 9

he is really hurt really really really hurt if you love him, tell him if you are still feeling problems in the relationship, maybe some part inside of you does not love him like all decisions in your life concerning love ? it is a decision you need to make you alone whatever you decide, you should do it soon here is some advice i received (some i took & some i did not), not in any particular order: - always treat people the way you would like to be treated - when a door closes, a window opens - this life you are living now is not a dress rehearsal - you have the ability to control your life - only you – no one else - don't look at the superficial essence of people - look inside of their soul - if you have to sign a legal document – take it home & review it overnight. preferably, see an attorney to protect your interests. remember, if it seems too good to be true – it probably is ! - don’t let people be bullied & don’t be a bully - every time you make love to someone, you give a piece of yourself away. you don't have too many pieces inside of you to give away – so be selective - find the path to your own happiness - you are in charge of your own happiness - you are responsible for how you get out of bed every day & how you plan your day - do volunteer work - it enriches the soul & lets you see how other people live their lives & survive their day to day existence - go to the library - when someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment & thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness & move forward. forgiveness frees your soul - when you get a job ? save something from each & every paycheck you get – even if it is a dollar – it helps you plan for your future & sets up good habits for savings right from the beginning of your working career ! place this money in an interest bearing account - don't watch tv too much - it fries your brain & can encourage laziness - don’t use profanity. it is a show of disrespect for yourself & those around you. there are millions of words out there – use them to express yourself ! - challenge yourself – don’t always take the easiest choice given to you or travel a path preferred by others – take chances - make yourself do something different once in a while - learn something new every day - in order to give & receive love, you have to love yourself first - make loving yourself a priority in your life ! - drink v8 juice - brush & floss your teeth at least two times per day - drink lots of water – stay away from soda pop - go to the library or book store – read ! - go for walks - sometimes, when you can’t smile ? force yourself to – it encourages your inner psyche to survive the “blues” that come over everyone of us, from time to time - keep a journal - listen to music – it keeps you connected to your inner soul & to the universe – all of which are very important to survive on this planet - always strive for a better education - encourage people around you – especially strangers - remember, we are all created equal – g*d does not make mistakes - never, ever give in or give up peace ☮†♂☺♥☻♀†☮

Answer 10

Maybe he is not ready to get married. This is a big step in life in which evryone needs to really think hard of. Its a life changing decision.