My boyfriend went to a strip club over the weekend! He completly lied about it to me and I HAD TO FIND OUT FROM MY MOM! He still is swearing his innocence, but I know better!
What's you take on things? Should I be mad? Or, should I let it go?
2006-09-05 03:07:18 · 35 answers · asked by Hey_Hey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ok, first things first. His dishonesty has to be dealt with because anything that breeds distrust is like cancer to a relationship. He needs to be straight with you, because chances are, you're not gonna be able to get past it with him being dishonest about it, because lies beget lies. He lies and has to tell another lie to cover the first and so on. Bad news.
As for the strip club in general, thats a different issue. Men like to look at other women. Its a fact. However, a strip club won't bring anything out of him that wasn't already there. It's not going to inspire him to cheat if he isn't gonna, and if he is, it most likely won't be at a strip club. If you are uncomfortable about another woman rubbing her **** in his face, which is completely understandable, then speak to him about it and ask him not to do it anymore. But you don't have to get mad at it, and getting mad at anything simply for the principle of it is in my opinion rarely worth the effort.
2006-09-05 03:21:04 · answer #1 · answered by Chris D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be mad that he lied, not that he went to the club. I see nothing wrong with men going to strip clubs. Go with him sometime and you will see what a stupid harmless past-time it really is. Tell him you need him to be honest with you, and ask to go the next time! If he won't take you then he might be hiding something. Perhaps he lied because he knew you would have a fit (that doesn't make it ok) ..let him know he has to be up front.
2006-09-05 03:14:15 · answer #2 · answered by silver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't have lied, that is a whole seperate issue from the strip club.
Is the strip club a one time outing or does he go a lot?
Personally it wouldn't bother me if my husband went once with his friends...if it's something he did a lot...well that would be a problem.
How did your mom find out? Did she see him leaving with her own eyes or is her gossip second hand? You never know someone could be feeding someone else lies...if he swears he's innocent find out his alibi and make sure it's real...if you still feel the issue is unresolved and you have a huge problem with it then it will always be an issue and your relationship may never heal.
2006-09-05 03:12:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you mom find out? Does she work there? Did she see him?
You have to sit down and think about the things you are willing to fight for and the things your willing to let go. For example, are you mad because he went to that sort of place or are you mad because he didn't tell you? If he were honest and told you that he was going to go to the strip club, would you be ok with that? Try to figure out what is OK between you and him and then take it from there.
2006-09-05 03:12:24 · answer #4 · answered by Lila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In itself, going to the strip club was not something you should get too upset about. If your boyfriend likes to go to strip clubs, offer to go with him the next time. There are one of two things going on here. Case 1 - he went to the strip club but when you asked him you had a hostile or angry tone. He was scared of your reaction and so lied to you to avoid a confrontation over it. Case 2 - Does your mom like him? Would she say something to drive a wedge between the two of you(and in her mind feeling it to be in your best interest)? Pursuing this will be a lose-lose situation in either case. Let it go this time.
2006-09-05 03:24:26 · answer #5 · answered by sloop_sailor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you lied to see a cute guy would you like to be forgiven.
If he was ur husband YEAH!! you better get angry but he is a guy things happen and even if he lies about it...forgive and forget.
Just give him a second chances..plus your mom should let you handle a relationship alone and shouldn't get into things like this.
This relationship was based on you and him and has nothing to do with your mom but just let it go.
trust me..if you hear some **** like that get some solid evidents about it and then break up with him.
If you really wantto hear the truth go to the strip club he want to and show a photo of him and ask if he was seen there.
Plus if you go to a strip club it makes it even...best if you just forget it.
2006-09-05 03:11:44 · answer #6 · answered by *~`h!8@Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Hey- just let it go babe it is innocent enough and you shouldn't be hurt by it. Perhaps he was coaxed into by some of his best buds or something. Sometimes the guy with the girlfriend always gets excluded from s h i t because his single buddies are ready to go have a good time and he can't cause she don't want him to.
But it doesn't even sound like this was the case "and how does your mom know?" anyway please don't be mad at him cause maybe you could go out the the CHIP night or something with your g-friends?
2006-09-05 03:11:38 · answer #7 · answered by Beano4aReason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should you be mad/upset? Definately, not so much on the issue of him going to a strip club, but you should be mad about him lying to you about it. Honesty and Trust are the basic foundations of any relationship, be it boyfriend/ girlfriend, or just friends. Without honesty, then any relationship is broken. Tell him you already know that he went, you heard from his mom, but tell him you are not pleased with him continuing to lie, and that you will not put up with it...b/c you shouldn't.
2006-09-05 03:11:04 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Ed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hunnie. what you should be mad at is that he lied to you. No girl likes having her man go to strip clubs but you have to have faith in him. Men are visual it doesn't mean your not sexy, it doesn't mean hes not satisfied they just like to look. Does he go a lot? if he goes maybe once every couple months with friends its okay. Trust me..I was very insecure and never wanted my man going but you have to trust him. It will make him appriciate more what he has at home. Its okay to look! you can always go to a male review!
2006-09-05 03:17:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
baby let it go. do u not know this will just eat at u. just remember what is good 4 the goose is good 4 the gander. next time chippendales comes your way or other male strip revue...go c them, just have lots of dollar bills 2 load up those g-strings. let him b jealous awhile. sometimes when the shoe is on the other foot...they see the light. or u get him 2 take u with him next time. or take a strip class & turn him on yourself.l you go girl.
2006-09-05 03:14:09 · answer #10 · answered by virgo1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋