Ok, now what should I do?

Question

I babysit for a very high maintence 6 month old while I have a 5 month old of my own. I have just been able to tell her mom that I cannot sit for her anymore because I feel that I am taking too much away from my son by meeting her very demanding needs and I felt that Faith would do better with a sitter who perhaps had no children or other children who were older. She said that was fine and she wasn't upset, but my husband is also deploying in mid October so I asked her to find a sitter by the end of this month. She said yes, but now that her daughter is getting three more new teeth and now my son is teething (finally!) my boy demands a bit more and this is his first tooth so he's hurting pretty badly. His mom said there is no way she can find a sitter sooner than October, but at this point knowing how much Faith demands it will be impossible to take on both with my son teething. She has also "forgotten" to pay me for 2 weeks in a row (forgot?!) and I had to remind her. Any ideas?

When I first said I'd sit for her daughter, Faith was much better tempered. She mostly sat there and smiled and just had fun. But it quickly changed when I started to sit for her. Her mom is pregnant again, so maybe that's why she forgets to pay me, but when you come over every day and pick her up wouldn't that be a reminder? I do know that her mom is one of the only people around this military post who I can relate to. i don't want the friendship to suffer, but it will if something isn't done soon. But she swears that she can't get a sitter until the end of this month.

I also have a hard time demanding that I am paid. I'm one of those who tried to help where I can, but am scared to upset someone. I guess that doesn't help either. I feel like I am the "bad" person for saying "hey could I get my check" or "i can't sit for her any more".

Answer 1

Remind the mother how exhausting it is to have a baby, let alone a child with a teething issue. She must know, as she has as baby too. Kudos on your bravery with two babies! It is emotially exhausting and physically draining to have a new baby as well as care for someone else's baby. she should be more understanding to that and allow you to go after the required two weeks notice. as for forgetting to pay you, sounds like she is being spiteful and unfair. She should be greatful for the amount of time you have sat for her and not compalin about having to employ another sitter. There are agencies that provide nannies on a short notice.

Answer 2

It's hard to believe that she can't find a sitter with-in a month. Is there anyway you can help her find one? I know this shouldn't be your responsibility, but if you know of anyone, then let her know. She is probably dragging her feet,because she feels comfortable leaving the baby with you, since she knows you. Remember that your child is your first priority. This lady is making you choose between her child and yours. If she won't take no for an answer, then make something up. Tell her you can't babysit, because you are going out of town for a few days. Or if your son is having a painful time with his teeth, call her and say he is sick and you can't watch her daughter.
There is no excuse for her not paying you. If she is short on cash, then she should tell you. You shouldn't have to ask for payment.
If all else fails, use Tylenol & hope it works fast.

Answer 3

Well, you need to hang in there, teething doesn't last too long, make sure you are giving the babies the right dosage of tylonal and none of that nasty ora-gel (have you ever tasted it?YUCK).
Make sure they both have teething rings and some biter biscuits.
You made the commitment to stay until the end of October so you should see it through. Is she currently looking for a new babysitter? Try enannysource.com, that can put her in touch with several nannies in your area.
If she is not paying you it is your right to leave. Remind her the day the payment is due, if you don't recieve payment on that day, let her know that you will not return until you are payed. I am a full time babysitter w/ multiple families and have never had a problem, I just let them know that payment is either due the friday before the week or on the first of the month. Be clear and specific about when you will get paid and make sure you follow through if you are not paid.

Good Luck!

Blessed be!

Answer 4

When she pays you tell her you can't sit for her any more sorry. I know it may sound mean but you have your child to think about and he needs to come first. Babysitters would call my mom the night before and say they can't babysit in the morning. Some how she always found a way. Point being you told her she needs to find some one else she should have been looking. She will find someone else or have to quit her job. Good luck with it. Congrats on your sons first tooth.

Answer 5

This is a tough situation. I have 5 children myself three are 5 and under. I know how hard it is to care for young children. I think that you should think about what is best for you and your family. It seems as though you feel as though you are neglecting your own child. I would think about him first. Give a reasonable about of time for the mother of the child you are working for to look for more help. What ever time you feel you and your son can deal with but give at least two weeks notice. Be sure to give a specific date you will be leaving. Be sure that your current employer understands that this will in no way affect the care you give to her child but that you feel as though your child needs your full attention at this time.

Answer 6

Wow, you are in a tough situation!! While your son is and always will be your #1 priority, you have made a promise to this woman in regards to her #1 priority(maybe?)You did the right thing in telling her that you will no longer be able to care for her infant, but you should stand up for yourself and ask for what pay is owed to you. You do not have to ask in a mean/nasty way, you could simply say something like: I dont want to sound harsh, but I really depend on the extra $ make for watching Faith, but i am sure you have been busy and just forgot to write me a check. Hopefully that will "jog" her memory lapse!

Answer 7

"Forgot to pay you"???? I wouldn't even give her the priveledge of another month. Heck, I wouldn't go back at all. But to not be a total jerk, give her 2 weeks at the most.
Tell her in plain English it's just too hard, you can't deal with 2 little ones who both need loads of attention. Someone will be missing out somewhere (like your sanity), and its not right for your son to have to share his mommy.
Honey, I did this before and it wasn't fun. You and your child come first.

Answer 8

yeah. say, look, your kid is requiring a bit much for me to handle right now. a month's notice to find a new sitter is nowhere near unreasonable, so i'd tell her, "after this month, i'm not watching your daughter, it's your problem." this entire situation sounds like b.s. to me. you have no responsibility to her or her child except the hours she's at your house. yes, your child needs attention too. and yes, teething can be horrible so...good luck. i just don't understand how a 6 month old can be high maintenance. (more so than normal) 6 months? is it just the mother's preferences, or...?

Answer 9

Do you have a written contract with tis woman? Why? because what is the arrangement when she fails to pay for services rendered? No pay? no baby-sitting...simple as that. However, let me add that I do not know what the law says but if you have a contract, it should be a real quick fix.

Good Luck!

Answer 10

I understand your kindness, sometimes though some mistake kindness for a sign of weakness. She is taking advantage of you. Your son is your first and highest priority always! Stick to what you anitially told her. You are doing right. You sound like a very good mother.