My wife's friend had complaint to my wife abt her father-in -law, that he always used to give dirty looks to her. In the begning he started to hold her by her arms, then started putting his hand on her back
He started to kiss her on forehead, then on her cheeks
But now he has the guts to kiss her on her lips
She has to stay in house on holidays twice a week, and her father in law is retired from service and is at home daily.
Now she is scared to tell her husband abt this looking into the relation.
wat should be done to stop this in future. should.
she tell her father- in -law directly orcomplain to her husband
her friends mother-in-law died abt 10 yrs. back.
all this nuisanse started abt 2 yrs after her death.
2006-09-05 02:34:10 · 5 answers · asked by soofi 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No one has the right to abuse your wife's friend...lets call her A. Keeping quiet is making the Father in Law (FIL) more in power, A is allowing the abuse, no one can abuse unless you allow it. A needs to exercise her control over others for her own protection. If her relationship with her husband is good then she should first tell him, If she confronts her FIL i wonder what he will do to her when she is alone. She has to be firm and tell her husband that she is not willing to stay with FIL alone because she does not feel safe. She has to be bold to face the situation when she is ready to confront the issue. It is good to get support from welwishers like you, YOur wife and you can also be part of the support. You can show this to A's husband and say that it has been of serious concern for you also hence wanted to get some good ideas from learned people on the net. It is going to be a hard job for the husband to confront the father but he has to do it because he is not being appropriate, and his wife is in danger of sexual abuse, her situation in the family is delicate. Appreciate A for the bold step she has taken to speak about it. If she has spoken it is surely a step towards taking control of the situation. She needs plenty of support. If nothing works she will have to take the help of the police.
These are some of the hard ways to do it, but its worth it, Keeping quiet is the act of a coward. There is lots of abuse going on but no one is taking action and action is possible only when women speak up. Why do you think God has sent this experience to you or A ...to punish the abuser who in a position of authority is abusing a women. Do you think this is just for any one? Evils of society can be erradicated only by action.
When this is out A needs lots of protection, the FIL can do anything to prove that he is right, Husband may deny because he is ashamed that his father did it. YOu may have to talk to her husband to let him know that what he feels is normal. But the fact that it has happened should be addressed and the FIL should find another place to live and not share the dwelling with the son and A.
Taking action for the evils of society is surely a sign of civil society. There are many abusers who just escape because they hold a good position in society. And sexual abusers are mostly in the family, they choose the victims who are silent, obedient, and timid. and A has all these qualities hence he has kissed her on her lips. It is going to be very difficult for A to take action, but if she does not she can have a baby of her father in law and change her status of mother to her husband. Its up to her to choose the course of action.
I hope i have helped!
2006-09-05 03:01:06 · answer #1 · answered by thachu5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife's friend is at fault. She should have nipped this in the bud in the beginning. Why on God's green earth would she have allowed the very first touch?. She is the one in control. She should have quickly removed his hands the very first moment he touched her. This has now gone far too long. Apparently, this woman likes this or it would never have moved this far for this long. Either she should confront the father in law or divorce her husband. It is inexcusable on her part. They both sound emotionally disturbed.
2006-09-05 02:42:43 · answer #2 · answered by ruthie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first tell the father in law to back off and if he didn't- I would tell the husband whats been going on.
2006-09-05 02:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by mightymight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She definitely needs to tell him directly. If there is not a total and immediate halt to these actions, she needs to tell her husband.
2006-09-05 02:40:16 · answer #4 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your fault.
lol
just kidding.
2006-09-05 02:48:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋