My boyfriend and his ex share the same friends?

Question

I am currently in a relationship with a guy I met at work. It's been nearly 9 months.
My problem is his ex girlfriend and him share the same group of friends. Towards the start of the relationship when I first met his ex,she was nothing but rude to me and purposely flirting with him and trying to make me uncomftable. Me and her do not speak. He will go around to his mates place and she'll show up with some of the other girls in the group. On one occasion he was at his friends place and she showed up they were both drinking and both ended up staying the night there. Whenever there is something happening wit his friends, like were all meeting somewhere or going out for dinner she's always there. My boyfriend is also in a band and she shows up to his gigs. At first it wasn't a problem but I am becoming more and more umcomftable about the situation. It's all we fight about now. He tells me I need to trust him and says there's not much he can do as they share the same friends. Please help

Answer 1

you are paranoid, jealous and self-centred...

get over it... he said to trust him... if you can't, then move on... you probably need a couch-potato who is never likely to stray...

Answer 2

This one, I dunno what to do. I'm pretty good at this relationship bit but sharing friends with an ex can be difficult, especially for the new girl. How does he act around this girl? Girls are pretty intuitive when it comes to what their guys are getting up to. Have you tried just watching them from a distance. It could be that he is friendly with her but that is it, they did share a past. A lot can be said in the way they broke up. Do you know the circumstances? Was it him or her? It could be the old addage, she doesn't want him but she doesn't want anyone else to have him and if she thinks she is getting to you, she'll keep it up. You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I think it is time you start being friends with her and see how uncomfortable it makes her, she might back off.

If you can't see anything going on between them, well at least nothing from his side, I think you need to let it go. It will only tear you apart if you keep fighting about it and you don't want to push him back to her.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Sorry but he's the one disrespecting u, not her... although he's entitled to his friends, and unfortunately so is she and they are the same circles, he shouldnt put u in a situation that u feel uncomfortable in.. if she shows he should say see u guys later and leave.. eventually his friends will have to choose if they want him around or her around.. he doesnt have to be impolite to them or even diss his friends, but he should be sticking up for you and not for his x or himself.. if the roles were reversed he'd probably have the same issues with u if not worse.. As far as the band gigs he cant do anything to keep her out of a public place where he's playing.. but the other stuff he can control on choosing whats more important u or them, or her, and he's basically already telling u , to deal with it.. so u should know where u stand with him, so what are u going to do about it, Stay and be his doormat, or realize u mean so little to him that he would put u in these types of situations?

Answer 4

do you love him, then you've got to trust him.. your thought can ruin your relationship, especially when he's not doing anything.. ok, you trust your guy but you dont trust the ex.. what you should do is to be close with your guy's circle of friends.. so, you can also trust his friends, and you'll feel secure of having allies with them.. lolx

Answer 5

If he's going to cheat your nagging him isn't going to prevent it.It may push him to do it. If you don't trust him to be faithful you shouldn't be with him. A little jealousy is flattering anything more than that is annoying.