How do you get better will power?

Question

I'd love to be stronger-willed about things I promise myself I won't do too much of (drinking, drugs etc) but I'm very bad at making myself stick to the plan. Can you make yourself have stronger will power?

Answer 1

You need to make a connection between the person who is going the drinking and the person who is feeling badly about it afterwards. At the moment, for you, these are two different people with different agendas.

The drinking person has reasons for drinking that seem sensible and reasonable at the time (everybody else is, or I'll feel awkward if I don't or I deserve a treat.... whatever) and the guilty person has reasons for not drinking that seem reasonable and sensible at the time (bad for health, budget etc.)

What you need to do is become both of those people and find the common ground for them. e.g. it may be that what you REALLY want is to feel good about yourself. So go out with your friends and tell a little white lie (I'm on painkillers) so that you can party without feeling wierd, but so that you don't feel guilty in the morning.

My doctor has been telling me for a while to lay off salt because it makes my blood pressure too high, but I still ate crisps. Recently I found out that salt causes cellulite... haven't bought a crisp since. My 'snacking' me and my 'healthy' me didn't agree, but what I REALLY want is not to be ugly so this is the common ground.

Answer 2

Dear Friend,

Forget about your will for a while. Break that problem into manageable bits. It's good that you see that you drink too much. Which is the first step. Now, take the second and plan how to get out of it or at least reduce it.
A higher priority is the solution. Get busy, take on something bigger than you. You will automatically gain respect from yourself and others. You will become strong, very strong.
And don't feel guilty. That's a waste of time and feeds your low self-esteem. Just start planning how to become better.

My best wishes go with you.
Ashok

Answer 3

Exercise it. Practice, patience, and perseverance all can be helpful. You get better at cricket by playing cricket with better players. But if you're a schoolboy you don't go out to face Flintoff. You start by playing against players a little better than yourself.

Same principle applies.

How would it be with you if you were to aim first to achieve something by willpower that takes a little effort but not a huge effort? For example, if you drink regularly from 8pm till bedtime every evening, a modest target might be to delay starting until 9pm -- just my example, not necessarily YOUR preferred example.

Answer 4

Practice makes perfekt.
I don't know you, so I can only be commonsensical about it.
I'd propose you set yourself realistic, attainable goals, like say, I won't have more than ..(whatever you think is enough) drinks, joints etc.
If that's too hard, stop altogether for one day.
Do something else that you enjoy to reward yourself.
If you manage you'll feel good about yourself and that should make it easier the next time.

Answer 5

make a decision and stick to it. take your mind off of whatever it is you don't want to do anymore by occupying your mind with other things.

Avoid going to pubs if you don't think you can control your urge to drink, and avoid the places/people you get your drugs from.

If all else fails, try a hypnotism cd.

Answer 6

My will power comes in when I realize that only I am responsible for what I do.
I cannot blame others for my short comings.
I choose to smoke, or I choose to drink, or I choose to let so and so tick me off.
Anytime your behavior is because you allowed something else to get to you, including your own desire, then you do not have control, and you are allowing that desire to run your life.
When you realize that YOU alone control your life, and not someone else's, things are going to go slower and easier.
Stop giving the indulgence the credit for your fall, and start blaming your own self.
You only have you to blame.

Answer 7

It basically comes down to priorities and motivation. If you were faced with the choice of losing everyone you loved or changing your bad habits, you wouldn't have much trouble, would you? You give up because you don't care enough to stick to it. Change your priorities. B well.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Study Uechi Ryu little grasshopper

Answer 10

set urself a goal and stick 2 it be positive