a week ago he confessed about having or@l s3x and s#x with a prositute 2 days prior to his confession. he said he was guilty, promised he won't do it again and told me he realized i was the only woman for him. now he's worried that he might have gotten HIV and keeps wanting my affirmation that everything would be fine. i think its unsesitive of him to ask that question. it hurts me everytime he asks me because i keep remebering what he had done. im hurting so much and i thought as days passed it will slowly go away, but i guess i was wrong.
now i dont know why did he confessed to me? what was his motives? was it because he's just really sorry or something else.
2006-09-05 00:39:46 · 21 answers · asked by addiee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He confessed to u out of guilt.. and probably fear as well.. when he did what he did, he didnt think of the consequences of his actions till it was said and done.. Guilt can play hard on someones heart , soul and mind, because it eats u up inside untill u let it out, he told u so he could feel better about himself cause he was being eatten up with the pain of it all, but all he did was transfer the pain from himself onto u...(another selfish act)...another reason is cause he's scared cause of the fact that it was a hooker that he may of catched a disease, so now he is relying on u to help him get through this (another selfish act) cause he wants u to ease his fears which u may be able to ease some but untill he gets the test results back from a doctor it wont ease his fears totally.. he's basically asking u to share in the consequences of "HIS" actions..because he doesnt want to go through all this alone.. and yes he could be really sorry.. i know im not perfect and ive done things in my past that were mistakes that im really sorry for.. (not like he has) but nonetheless some times people have to make the mistakes before they realize what the hell they just did and can actually really be sorry for them and learn from them.. Now its ur choice do u live with his consequences.. or do u respond and make yourself one of the consequences of his actions by leaving? only u can make that decision..
2006-09-05 02:02:32 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMHO I think he is sorry for what he did and it seems to be evident he loves you. I would consider having a HIV-AIDS test though. It's a mans natural instinct to try and procreate with as many females as he can. Although some men are more restrained with this than others. Variety is the spice of life?
It also sounds like this might be the first time he tried anything like that. Be warned he will probably do it again because you haven't really went overboard on him (not saying to). He probably feels it's no big deal now and he is free to do as he pleases.
My ex-son-in-law frequented prostitutes on a regular basis and my daughter would not accept it although she knew about it. He was a total pervert, all he did was talk about sex and tried to get every woman he could in the bed. So I would keep a sharp eye on him. By the way this advice/answer is from a man.
2006-09-05 00:52:31 · answer #2 · answered by Common Cents Genius 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain but not his. This guy is a wimp and a crybaby. The prostitute only shows what he thinks of himself and what he thinks of you.
He made his vows and has broken them. If he were a Christian; as priest and head of his house he would be confessing to God first and then to you. You cannot forgive him for breaking his own word and hooking up with a prostitute!
Let us say a little child breaks a toy, a gift from you, and comes running. "Momma, I broke my toy, I didn't mean to." You will say, "That's all right we can get another one."
The one thing I want you to see here is that the toy is still broken. The toy is your husbands word. Only the manufacturer can repair the toy and only God can repair your husbands word.
You can't do it and it's not your job - do you see?
As long as you don't get a handle on this you will keep going around in sad little circles with no future. Unless he tests clean, repents and you can see a whole new man in front of you -- he should be outta there or you should be.
You have every right to divorce him. If you don't at least get both of you tested and put him under 24 hour surveillance.
2006-09-06 02:40:39 · answer #3 · answered by Tommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He confessed because he doesn't want you to get HIV. This way you can be on the look out if you start becoming ill.
I would say it is a little late for him to do anything.
He did something that could kill you and him. He did not think of you and to give you Bull Sh--! that he loves you is a little late for that.
If he loved you he would never ever put your life on the line.
He doesn't deserve you or anyone.
2006-09-05 01:49:26 · answer #4 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow a prostitute! thats gotta make you feel really great. The reason he told you is because he is probably worried that he is gonna have to explain to you why he is dying of HIV. If i were you I would dump him but being a woman more then likely your gonna suck it up and keep thinking that he still loves you. Any guy who would go to the lengths of getting a prostitute really doesn't love the woman he is with.
2006-09-05 00:47:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like guilt has gotten the better of him. Whether or not you decide to stay with him after that is up to you, but he's up front with his apology and his admission. This is something you two are going to have to work on, though. Any advice given here is solely from people on the outside looking in.
Good luck.
2006-09-05 02:29:29 · answer #6 · answered by Joseph_Keith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry however, once a man has made that step to cheat on his women, nothing will stop him from doing it again. Don't take a chance on him being honest now. He cheated once he will do it again. If you take him back to your bed you have a good chance of get HIV or an STD's.
2006-09-05 00:44:05 · answer #7 · answered by Texan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only reason he got a brain storm that he may get HIV or AIDs from those women and the fear is worrying him that about it not guilt but fear that he may die and it maybe true he may but get yourself check every three month and then every 6 month and you know you are free from that diseases and drop that jerk sorry to tell you this it your health or us condom until you know you are free it will take over a 1 and a half to be sure you don't have that diseases the first time it will said no but AIDs take time to develope about 6 month to a years
2006-09-05 00:45:27 · answer #8 · answered by Linda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's been a fool. He should get tested for STD's. I would insist on it if I was you. That might get the message through to him that you don't want him bringing infections into your bed.
I would also tie him to the bed and whip his backside until he shed tears (but I am a little strange).
He probably told you to guage your reaction. If you are too soft on him he might do it again.
2006-09-05 00:49:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I alluded to this earlier in the previous question, but his motives were out of a selfish desire to make sure that he will not suffer loss due to his actions. He wants to alleviate his guilt by essentially dumping the responsibility of the health of the relationship on you.
Please consider some self-care counseling. It will really help!
2006-09-05 00:44:21 · answer #10 · answered by Lost M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋