My dad cheated on my mom more times than I can remember. Now that I am an adult, I am afraid of meeting guys because I just don't wanna end up like my mom. Are all men the same? Do they all cheat? How can I get over this problem?
2006-09-05 00:34:05 · 17 answers · asked by Firefly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
all men r not the same, no all men don't cheat and once u find the right man. he will help u get over ur problem, by being the man that god intended him to be. the type of man that u would want & need in ur life, not the one that made u feel this way about men.
2006-09-05 04:01:37 · answer #1 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This question rates a tremedous disertation, but the long and short of it is NO we do not ALL cheat.
One of my best friends was my partner in NY City EMS, and was one of the most religious, loving, caring people I know. He is a great husband, and a role model of a father as well as a volunteer firefighter in his community. (as an aside, he's also the father of my beautiful God-daughter) SOMEHOW, back in about 1990, he and another Paramedic got into an affair that was quite steamy and just got to the point where he had to tell the wife and shut the affair down. It was obviously hard on all 3, but his wife and he worked it out and are still happilly married after all these years. As a guy with total access into his life and total trusting relationship, I know that he is no longer cheating, including long term or one-nighters.
I guess the point is that happens to even the best of guys with the best of intentions.
The best way to "get over this problem" would be find a professional- NOT that "you have a problem", but to discuss the way males brains work in relationships. It is natural for you to put up a defence from being hurt!
2006-09-05 01:29:18 · answer #2 · answered by emansod5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father also cheated on my mom, and he was very blatant about it. His behavior helped me develop a huge grudge against men, than only got worse as I got older. There are a lot of cheaters out there, but it isn't fair to judge all men, based on the experiences we have with the bad ones. In order to get over my feelings about my dad, I had to over-rule them with thoughts of my grandfather who was an honorable man, and wonderful husband to my grandmother. I was cheated on before, but I made the decision not to punish the next guy because of what he did. All men are not the same. I've got a good man who takes care of me, and I don't worry about him cheating. Worrying is pointless, it doesn't prepare you for the pain, and all you do is stress about something that may, or may not happen. Don't waste your energy. Love your parents as they are, and understand that despite the jerks out there, there are tons of good men, and they deserve a chance. Good luck.
2006-09-05 01:05:46 · answer #3 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men cheat many are trustworthy. My experience has been that of the many men I have dated only 4 come to mind that betrayed me and so out of many 4 is not that bad. Have confidence that the man you meet is honest and loyal; test the waters tread carefully dont give your hear away too soon but at the same time do not be afraid to love and trust. hugs jackie
2006-09-05 01:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by laferla66 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. I grew up seeing my mom cry over my dad skirt chasing ways. I grew up to distrust man and relationships. I avoided dating and marriage beacuse I belived that it only lead to heartache.
Therapy helps get over your issues. The good news is that men are not all the same and that you have to learn to pick the right one and belive that you are worth of love and faithfulness. because of your childhood experiences you will have the tendency of picking the wrong men that are prone to cheating because that is all you know and know how to handle it, as this is your comfortable spot. being happy and respected is another story and you will try to push the "good ones" away because you may thing that "it's too good to be true".
Good luck
2006-09-05 01:47:43 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no all men don't cheat, but i was wondering the same about woman, i have been married three times and was cheated on all three times, so do all woman cheat? i don't really believe they do but this man does not cheat and i hope to find a woman who does not cheat, keep the faith they are out there. Have a great day
2006-09-05 00:47:32 · answer #6 · answered by jryan1957 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men will cheat on you. When u find the man u love, he will help u get over your fears if u tell him.
2006-09-05 00:40:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you would benefit from counselling...your minister, priest, or psychologist, for example. It is difficult to work through such a problem by yourself, but your recognition of having a problem is an initial and very important first step to understanding how to deal with your feelings.
Not all men cheat, any more than not all women cheat. So much depends upon the individual and his/her experiences...we all view things in terms of our own past experiences, and so much of what we do is governed by these experiences. I will quote myself in what I say to my graduate students in one class in particular, "Your are now what you were then." That may seem trite, but when you think about the implications of that simple statement, I believe it is hard to disagree with it...it always produces stimulating responses.
2006-09-05 00:53:53 · answer #8 · answered by Slewpy D 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
not all men cheat on u.If u really love someone,and so does he.He wont do such stupid thing.Believe me.and to get over this problem,u should be opstimistic when thinking of any boys u met and will meet.Good luck!
2006-09-05 00:56:32 · answer #9 · answered by coco 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I myself don't believe all men are the same.But I do believe if its in there nature to cheat then they will and its nothing at all to do with you.The real skill is learning to tell the difference.
2006-09-05 01:22:01 · answer #10 · answered by P W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋