We were recently talking about marriage and have before in the past but she said she wants to keep her last name which is Valiant, and not change it to mine which is Read.. now she says she likes my name but she rather keep hers she feels its strong and all that. But I would normally have no problem with it, but it bugs me and I have no idea why... I would just realy like her to have my name, i mean i've never known anyone not to take the mans name. And i know there is all this equality but why does she want this so bad and I dont' know why I disagree with it so much! I don't know what to think, any help would be appreciated greatly!
2006-09-04 23:07:45 · 25 answers · asked by cflames_fan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
see dude... i can understand what u feelin... but u gotta get this straight that her last name or anythin as such aint gonna affect ur marraige or love... it shouldnt... certain ladies want to keep their maiden name coz this gives them an identity and makes them feel independent. coz when they take their man's name they r leaving their actual name, they loosing one identity n gettin a totally new identity! and at times that gets a bit freaky for them, whereas we men want them to give up their past just so that they have our name, which is pretty worng actually... if u know wat i mean?
u can alwasy to talk to her and tell her to keep both the names, on of ma closest frnds has done dat, she has kept her father's name and also her husband's name.
best of luck.... hope it all works well.....
cheers mate...
2006-09-04 23:15:22 · answer #1 · answered by _...._ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does it bother you so much? Have you discussed for the future what your childrens last name would be? I live in Europe and here (recent development) the woman keeps her maiden name. But the children automatically get their fathers name which I think is the way it should be. As far as her wanting to keep her maiden name, its ok dont let it bother you. Maybe she feels like she is giving everything up or something like that. You know what? If you both love and respect each other it doesnt matter what name she has!
2006-09-04 23:22:31 · answer #2 · answered by lainie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about a compromise? Why doesn't she use her maiden name for business and her married name for everything else? A lot of women do that. My sister has been married over 10 years and she still uses her maiden name for most things. Of course when it comes to things regarding the kids she is known as Mrs. with his last name.
2006-09-04 23:50:21 · answer #3 · answered by lady01love 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I keep my maiden name as well. We're married for 17 years up to now. We love each other very much. Keeping or changing a name has no significant meaning to love.
I like keeping my maiden name which I have been using since birth. It keeps me feeling young.
2006-09-04 23:30:14 · answer #4 · answered by Timeless - watcher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would strongly caution you about marrying this woman, and I can think of few things worse than marrying a feminist who wants to keep her maiden name. One exception might be if she was a famous, well-known person and wanted to use it to keep her private name out of the spotlight.
Now, I don't care what anyone else says, and I can assure that I'm right about this. If it were me, I'd look elsewhere. It's NOT a minor matter.
2006-09-04 23:12:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's OK if your girlfriend wants to keep her maiden name. My mom has kept her maiden name.. she never changed it! I would love to keep my name too.. It's because all my life I have been using it and people have been calling me by that last name... It would be odd for me, to have my last name changed. It is supposed to be a part of my identity.
How would you feel if you were asked to change your last name from Read to something else?
Remember, there is nothing in the name as long as she is yours..!
2006-09-04 23:19:23 · answer #6 · answered by Janice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we got married, I was so excited to change my name. I am so proud to be Mrs. I never would have considered keeping my name. I feel that if she doesn't want your last name then she might not be ready for the committment. (That's just my opinion). My cousin didn't want to change her name either. Two months into the marriage he convinced her to change it, now she feels it was a good thing to change it. If you have kids people might be confused that his/her mom has a different last name (especially if your married.)
2006-09-05 04:35:54 · answer #7 · answered by Farmwife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very old-fashioned. I agree with you- she should take your name... I would even say that perhaps she is being disrespectful if she doesn't take your name. A significant part of getting married is joining a new family. If she is not ready or willing to share a last name with you, then maybe she is not ready to share her life with you. I dont know you, or her, but I am just making a likely presumption....
2006-09-04 23:13:20 · answer #8 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u love and want to marry her why cant u accept her keeping her maiden name?It shows how much u love and want to marry her.This is 21st century theres no problem with u making a compromise.Sounds like u care much about what her last name is then u love want to marry her.
2006-09-05 00:07:41 · answer #9 · answered by abeautyourstruly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously no biblical (church) backgound here. Bottom line: YOU: Man of the house
Her: Much respected friend, must be willing to change her name to yours. No hyphenated last names either (BIG EGO thing).
If it's that much of an issue with her, then your marriage wasn't meant to be.
A marriage is the UNION of two souls and two become ONE.
Man + Wife = 1 soul (sorta- but you get the drift)
2006-09-04 23:15:04 · answer #10 · answered by Sgt Squid 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋