I have been dating this guy for almost three years now and we have a child. We were supposed to get married this last July, but I found out that he had posted a page for himself on a personals website. I called off the wedding, but eventually decided to give him another chance because although creating a page was bad, he didn't actually communicate with anyone. So, we re-set our wedding date for this coming January. Just the other day, I found out that he was doing this again, only this time he was communicating with other women, even suggesting that he wanted to meet one of them. I just don't understand, I keep telling him if he isn't interested in me that it's okay for him to leave and that there won't be any hard feelings, but he continues to insist that he's happy and wants very much to get married. He says it's just a thing guys do but that he would never act on it. Why does he insist he's in love with me, but yet is looking for other women on the internet? Do I stay or do I go?
2006-09-04 22:25:15 · 15 answers · asked by dream_girl20 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ask your self....Do i want to marry a man who shows me little to no respect and feels it's ok to flirt with other women? I hope you have enough self respect to say no. Kick your man to the curb. HE'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE. or he would have already done it. Where do you draw the line? When he actually meets them? he's doing nothing but feeding you a line. Real men don't need an ego boost from other women. They respect the one they got.
2006-09-04 23:04:19 · answer #1 · answered by Female Racer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what kind of communication he's having with these women. If he's making sexual advances, then there is already a problem. If he's just talking to them and you REALLY believe he's sincere, then it may be ok. If there are serious problems now, they will only get worse if you get married. If you love him and trust him, and he REALLY loves and trusts you, then go for it. Some guys will be unfaithful even to someone they supposedly love, but that's not real love. You would be better off waiting for someone who is as true to you as you are to him than marrying him if you really beleive he's being unfaithful. Ask him if you can read the messages he sends to other women. If he agrees, then see for yourself, or just trust him. If he's doing wrong, he's not likely to let you see what he's been writing. If he agrees to let you read his messages, then that is a pretty good indicator that he is telling you the truth, and you should trust him. Only you can determine what is right for you, so don't look for the answer outside yourself. Look inside and see if you feel you can really trust him, and make the decision for yourself. If you make the wrong decision, learn from it and move on. If it's the right decision, then your life will be very fulfilling.
Love, Hope, Peace, & Christ Be With You,
Cal-el & Swissy
2006-09-05 06:00:44 · answer #2 · answered by Prodigal Son 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with what he is doing. Me and my partner ( I am a woman ) do it together and our relationship has never been better. The problem with many women is that they don't trust themselves enough so at the first sight of another female close to their man they loose it...just cant handle it.
If he says he loves you enough to still go on and marry you and at the same time he has this web page, then he is probably telling you the truth. He loves you but marrying you doesn't mean that he needs to stop being himself and being the ideal man you want to have. So why don't you join him?
Be interested on what he is doing, do it together.That´s a healthy relationship.When people have nothing to hide from each other.
Believe in yourself. Instead of fighting it....join it.
Have you ever thought that he needs to do whatever he is doing because you are not giving him enough of yourself? Many woman loose interest on many things after they have kids and its just too much pressure on the poor guys.
Stop crying, complaining, accusing, go on and be honest first to yourself! Then try and tell him you would like to join him in his web page.Put some pictures of you as well and live the fantasy with him.That's what couples do. They are together, they are NOT one person ( 1 + 1 is 2 its not 1 ).
Please do e-mail me with the results....
2006-09-05 05:43:36 · answer #3 · answered by kondicissima 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I face a similar situation with my relationship. My girl can't stop flirting. I told her that if I wasn't good enough, then let's part ways. But she insisted that she wants to be with me. This is what I did.
I told her that I'm not happy with it and if she really wants to be with me, then stop. If she doesn't, then I go.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that a relationship should be a compromise, but there are things that one cannot accept. I'm Asian and I have a very strict principle on adultery, even if it doesn't involves sexual acts.
If it's something you cannot tolerate, then leave.
2006-09-05 05:57:15 · answer #4 · answered by Kay Shoun 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like he's being sincere.
Sure guys like 2 look, but making the personal add again
and suggesting meetings....
There's only one reason you want to meet with a complete stranger that you met over personals(*Insert bad thought here*)
Seems like he might just do it again and each time take it one step further. I say go.
2006-09-05 05:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by GlacieredPyro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please leave this guy as soon as possible.im sure he can will bring u more hurt than happiness in the future if he continues this way.but it doesnt matter what i say.its the wayy u feel.if u really like him and he u..then sit down and talk about it.there may have been a communication gap somewhere.good luck
2006-09-05 05:38:39 · answer #6 · answered by hellmaster_aa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay...
he is right, lots of guys do it... for a little ego boost... to know that they are still attractive to the opposite sex... i do it myself... but nothing ever comes of it... there is some chat, but the women don't seem to want to go that far...
if he continues, then you do the same and see what it does for your ego... "what is sauce for the goose....."
alternatively, see about what fantasies he is into and try to make a few come true... keep him happy that way, then get him to make a few of your fantasies come true too... :D
2006-09-05 05:30:25 · answer #7 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come to me go ahead lady this is one serious guy or ur suffering from low esteem
2006-09-05 05:31:21 · answer #8 · answered by Snifer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont waste your time!
he aint going to change.
2006-09-05 05:33:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think so...you are the best person to decide what you have to do...but for me if im on your situation i am not going to marry him instead kick his *** and break him..that's!
2006-09-05 05:30:39 · answer #10 · answered by labskoto2119 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋